The Man Behind the Letter
by lightningpelt
Summary: L has always been akin to a god.But he wasn't.And L was very tired.He changed the world,and ready to start his life as Ryuzaki.Can a girl named Jane help him uncover the man behind the letter?It might not be easy,for Fate isn't done with L yet...
1. Part One Chapter One

**(A/N) Hello (all?)! This is my first ever Death Note fic, even though I have been obsessed with it for a long, long time. It's only right that it's about L, the most awesome character in the world! I got this idea when I was reading L: Change the World, the book adaptation of the movie. This fic follows that alternative continuum, although that doesn't mean that you had to have read that book (or seen the movie) to read this. It does contain some spoilers! Anything that might be confusing, I will explain, and most of that is done here, in the first chapter. Anyway, enough about that. Let is suffice to say that… L LIVES ON! =^^= **

**I do not own Death Note, or L, only my own character (OC). **

Ryuzaki walked down the busy street, slightly hunched, with his hands jammed into the pockets of his faded blue jeans. His wide, dark eyes took in everything, like a child who was seeing the world for the first time. His bare feet, only half jammed directly into his ratty sneakers, scuffed along the road with an even sound, similar to a heartbeat, which was lost in the noise of the city.

"FRESH BAKED CUPCAKES," proclaimed one sign, "$1.99." Ryuzaki dug deeper into his pocket and, finding some crumpled money there, changed direction and made his way toward the shop. He took in the large wooden menu with one sweep of his eyes, feeling his mouth water. With a calm, monotone voice, he ordered a dozen strawberry cupcakes for himself.

Accepting the sweet-smelling box, Ryuzaki paid the clerk and crammed the change into his pocket. He then walked out of the store and into the bright sunlight, blinking eyes that were used to darkness; accustomed to staring at view screens for days on end. _So this,_ he thought, _is freedom. Everything I did, everything I gave up… was worth it._

... ... ...

Three weeks earlier, the man known as L had written his own name in the Death Note, a notebook with the power to kill. Or, at least, what everyone _thought_ was the Death Note. It was after the defeat, or, rather, the death of the serial killer Kira; the death of, as L knew him, Light Yagami. Everyone around the great detective was confused by his actions, but accepted them, as they always had. The real reason was something none of them could ever grasp, but a drive all humans shared. Very simplified, that drive came down to one thing: the desire to live, and the desire to live _freely_ at that. L had spent his entire life denying his humanity, as well as that deep-seated urge. But I'm getting ahead of myself. At this rate, I'll end up telling you everything now. And, for now, I'll just have to settle for giving you some background.

L gave himself 23 days; 23 days to live. Or, rather, 23 days to live _as L_. He solved many cases in those 23 days, did many great and significant things. But he was ready to give it up. After those 23 days, he vanished. No one knew what had happened to him, except for two people. N and M. Near and Mello. Nate and Miheal. The two people- besides Watari, who had died –that L felt he could trust almost completely, although I don't think that L fully trusted anyone at that point.

In any case, Near and Mello helped L set things in motion. He probably could have done it- no, he _could_ have done it –alone, but it certainly went faster with people helping. Mello looked down on his role model, unable to grasp what he was doing. Near, however, who had always shared more of L's way of thinking, could comprehend- if not fully understand –what was happening. Within a week, the three of them had set it up so that _L_ could vanish. And Ryuzaki, _Rue Ryuzaki,_ the alias that L had always, somehow, felt was the truest, could appear.

... ... ...

Ryuzaki pushed into his small apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. Putting the box of cupcakes on his cluttered kitchen table, he took one out, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. He made his way into the kitchen and flicked on the coffee pot, thinking how strange it was to make his own coffee. _It feels… good._ Opening the cupboard, he pulled out a cup and a bag of sugar cubes. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he walked back to the living room, balancing the hot cup, bag of sugar, and cupcake.

Ryuzaki clambered onto the dingy couch, kicking off the annoying shoes and tucking his feet under him. He made short work of the cupcake, eating it in two bites. Popping a couple dozen sugar cubes into his coffee, he twisted to look over the back of the couch.

"Could you…" he began, but then realized that there was no one to get him another cupcake. The realization made him smile.

Ryuzaki flicked on the TV, rising and bringing the remaining cupcakes within easy reach. A moment later, however, only the fact that his mouth was full of frosting kept him from crying out in dismay at what was on the news; that and years of practice containing such emotional outbursts. A child- a three year old child –had been murdered, her killer still on the loose. Normally, the man called L would have begun to investigate immediately. It wouldn't have taken long. But he had given all that up. And, despite his strong sense of justice- which was, at that moment, screaming at him –and his regret and not being able to help, he had no intention of going back.

A knock at the door startled Ryuzaki, bringing him abruptly back to reality. He hopped up off the sofa, turning off the TV but not bothering with his discarded shoes. He was still in the process of licking the remains of the third cupcake from his long, thin fingers when he opened the door. When his round eyes locked on the person standing outside the door, they widened further and he froze, tongue out, mid-lick.

Just outside stood a young woman, perhaps in her mid-twenties; around his age. She had long, dark brown hair that stopped about halfway down her back; it was ruffled but clean. She wore a Beatles t-shirt and dark, flare blue jeans. She had no shoes, displaying a shiny purple pedicure. Her face was long and thin, with brown, almond-shaped eyes and incredibly long lashes. And just below her slim waist she held a dish covered with foil. She smiled.

"Hi," she said timidly, looking at him from beneath her lashes. "My name is Jane. I heard you were new to the complex and… wanted to stop in to welcome you."

Ryuzaki finally snapped out of his trance, finishing the lick and smiling slightly. "Ryuzaki," he said. "Rue Ryuzaki." A pause. "Would you…" he made a helpless gesture into the apartment, "like to come in?"

Jane giggled softly, seeming amused by his awkward reaction. She raised her head, a smile playing on her lips. "I'd love to."

Ryuzaki shuffled back into the small apartment, finishing cleaning his fingers with his tongue. Jane followed, closing the door behind her. The ex-detective motioned to the box sitting next to the couch, and then took another cupcake for himself.

"Help yourself. I have some strawberries in the kitchen, if you'd like. Coffee?" His fast words betrayed his nerves, how out of his element he felt.

The girl laughed softly. "The strawberries sound great. But I'd prefer tea to coffee, if you have any?"

Ryuzaki nodded and was about to vanish into the kitchen, when Jane stopped him.

"Here," she motioned for him to take the dish. "I brought you something."

Ryuzaki took the plate, holding the edges between his thumb and forefingers, and placed it on the table. He peeled back the foil, revealing a decadent chocolate cake with half-strawberries lining the edges.

"Looks delicious," he said, nodding. The girl beamed.

"I'm glad! I made it myself!"

Ryuzaki looked at her and raised one eyebrow. "Impressive," he murmured, and Jane smiled again, her cheeks coloring slightly.

The raven-haired man, looking away quickly, moved to the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee and heating some water for tea. He grabbed the bowl of strawberries, too. It felt strange; for the past few days, he had been alone there, and enjoyed it. He couldn't make up his mind if he liked Jane's presence or not. Jane herself was a perfectly likeable person… _and rather cute…_ The man once called L shook his head sharply. _Do I want to get attached to anyone? _he asked himself forcefully. _I thought I gave up my old life to be free, no exceptions, my own master. Just a normal person at last. _

_But I can never be normal, _a small part of him pointed out.

_Well, normal people have friends. And I shouldn't alienate anyone, _he convinced himself, after a moment, and shuffled back into the living room. He found Jane perched on his couch, so he seated himself across from her, drawing his feet up under him. Jane raised one eyebrow so that it disappeared under her bangs for a moment.

"Do you like sugar in your tea?"

"No thanks." Jane accepted the cup and sipped the tea appreciatively.

Ryuzaki used one finger to push the huge bowl of strawberries toward her, filling his own cup with sugar cubes and putting two in his mouth. They sat in silence for a moment; the ring of the phone made both of them jump. Ryuzaki sprang up and dropped smoothly to all fours, scuttling quickly under the coffee table and thinking nothing of it; he scooted right past Jane, ignoring her surprised "Oh!" Coming up next to the phone, he was about to answer it when he heard Jane exclaim:

"Whoa, that is awesome!"

Surprised, Ryuzaki twisted his neck around as though it contained no solid bones. Jane had turned so that she was kneeling on his sofa, peering over the back at him. She was smiling, her eyes stretched wide. Ryuzaki, despite the impossible position his neck was already in, cocked his head. _What a strange reaction,_ he thought. _Even _Watari_ was unnerved by my crawling… _Shrugging, he plucked up the phone, just crouching there, holding the receiver about a centimeter from his face, pinched awkwardly between his index finger and thumb.

"Hello?"

"L?"

Ryuzaki winced at the title, glancing unconsciously at Jane.

"No, this is Ryuzaki."

"Would you stop it, L?" Mello sounded annoyed. He had never understood L's decision to disappear, to start over.

"No," Ryuzaki said calmly, "I really don't have the time."

"You're not doing anything." Mello sounded discussed. "It's pointless."

"Actually, I _am_ doing something right now." L was always aware of how he was sounding to Jane.

"Okay, so you're sitting there watching some TV show and eating some sort of sugar. Not the most-"

"Actually," L found himself slightly angry at Mello's attitude, "I have someone over right now, so if you could just-"

"Oh, excuse me!" Mello snapped. "So Near's over there. I wondered where he'd gotten to."

"One of my new neighbors stopped by, something you couldn't grasp. So if this really is important, call back later."

Without waiting for a response, L hung up the phone. Turning around, he saw Jane peering at him. The second he had become L vanished, and he was Rue Ryuzaki again.

"Sorry, that was my cousin," he said smoothly. "He's not exactly happy that I moved here." _Not quite a lie…_ he thought. _Wait, why do I care if I'm lying to her? _

"Well," Jane said, "I disagree. I'm certainly glad you moved here."

Ryuzaki cocked his head. He certainly hadn't been expecting _that._ Skittering back over and jumping up into his big, plush chair, he plucked up a strawberry and nibbled at it.

"So, where do you come from?" Jane asked curiously.

Ryuzaki looked up at her. "The whole other side of Japan." _I don't want her trying to look up any info on me… not that we don't have it all covered… _

"Really? I didn't see a moving truck here," she said. "Did your cousin help you?"

"You could say that." Ryuzaki said, still finding himself, inexplicably, trying to avoid outright lies. "Most of the furniture was already here. It not exactly high-end, but I didn't want to drag all my old stuff all the way here."

"It works." Jane nodded.

Something was nagging Ryuzaki. He stood up. "Thank you so much for stopping by, I really appreciate it." He smiled slightly. "Stop in again, please. But I really do need to call my cousin. He had such a hot temper, and on the off chance that it is something important…"

"I totally understand," Jane said. "I have a brother like that. Just stop by when you're done with the plate the cake is on. I'll look forward to it." She got up and bowed slightly; Ryuzaki mirrored the motion.

When Jane left, the ex-detective found himself feeling strangely alone. Shrugging off the feeling, he walked back over, grabbing another cupcake and sitting down in the big armchair, unconsciously avoiding the sofa, which Jane seemed to have claimed; her aura clung to it as though she was meant to sit there, for all eternity. Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he hit speed dial two. Taking a bite of cupcake, he settled in for an uncomfortable conversation.

"Come to your senses yet?" came the dull voice, not bothering to say hello.

L let out a sigh. "No, Mello, no. But do you have any idea-"

"Then why," Mello interrupted him, "exactly, are you calling me?"

"On the very off chance that whatever you called me about was important."

"Just checking in." Mello sounded bored. "Near and I are betting on how long this fancy of yours will last."

L felt anger flare up, but he suppressed it. "I'm afraid you'll both lose," he said calmly. "The L you know is dead. Gone. Never coming back."

"No, L," Mello said softly, dangerously. "The L I know is alive and well. And, sooner or later, he will reassert himself over this foolish little whim of yours. L, _the L,_ will return. The Last one. The Lost one. The world needs L."

"It's pointless," Ryuzaki declared. "The world has M and N. L, the Lost one, will remain lost. This is my life now. There is no future other than the one I have chosen."

"If you say so," Mello said in a disinterested voice. Suddenly, though, his voice became strong, and very intense. "But I'll make a declaration of my own: you will tire of being ordinary. Very soon, L will return, and you will be extraordinary once again."

**(A/N) What did you think? Please tell me, write a review! It makes my day! Jane will make you goodies! Do you like Jane? Did I do OK with L's character? The more reviews I get, the faster I can guarantee and update! Thank you so much for reading! =^^= **


	2. Part One Chapter Two

**(A/N) Finally I have this done! It took longer than I expected; sorry for the delay. I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have started a **_**third **_**story. Oh well. I'm really having fun with this one! **

**The chapter was originally going to be about cookies, but Pralines sounded better. Plus, I had my first praline a couple of days ago and now I'm a tad obsessed with them. Anywhos, enough about that. I hope you enjoy the chapter! **

**Thank you so much to my wonderful reviewers: fadedlines and ! You're the best! **

**I do not own Death Note or L, only the plot of this and my OC. **

Ryuzaki raised his hand to knock, but hesitated. Scowling at himself, he rapped on Jane's door, keeping the plate in the other hand.

"Coming!" came the called response, and Ryuzaki rubbed one bare foot along the other in an unconscious, nervous movement. He nibbled at his thumbnail, eyes flicking one way, then the other. The door swung inward, and Jane appeared, her short hair ruffled.

"Oh! Ryuzaki! What a surprise!" she smiled widely.

Ryuzaki shifted his small weight from one foot to the other. "Uh… hello, Jane." He produced the plate, and smiled, slightly sheepish. "Thank you so much for the cake. It was very good. Exactly the kind of thing I love."

A look of confusion crossed her face. "I only gave it to you yesterday, didn't I?"

Ryuzaki nodded. "Yes. I ate it for supper last night. It was very good."

Jane laughed softly; Ryuzaki couldn't understand why. "Would you come in for a minute? I'd love company." She smiled warmly.

Ryuzaki, not seeing a diplomatic way to say no, nodded and followed her inside.

Jane's apartment was quite a bit nicer than Ryuzaki's own. The carpet was deep and soft, kind to bare feet. She had a big red couch that looked worn and deep, comfortable to sit on. It wrapped around the room against the wall; a large TV sat opposite. The walls were a warm orange; Ryuzaki would never have thought that the color would look good on walls, but it made the space seem soft and welcoming. There were paintings and photos hanging, as well. A table was strategically placed right in front of the entrance to the kitchen; Ryuzaki couldn't fathom why. On the table stood a kind of carousel filled with cupcakes. There was a bookshelf on one side of the room full of cookbooks and various manga. All this the man once called L took in with a sweep of his eyes.

"Very nice place," he commented, his eyes lingering on the table.

"Thanks!" Jane beamed.

Ryuzaki felt something furry brush his foot. It made him jump before he glanced down and saw the cat there. It was small and white, with dark ears, tail, and paws, and a light caramel colored back. It stared up at him with intelligent, light blue eyes. Even though all his logic told L that the cat could not possibly have conscious thoughts, Ryuzaki couldn't help wondering.

"Oh, that's Victoria," Jane informed him.

Victoria stretched, and then sprang towards a startled Ryuzaki. She scaled his jeans and clambered up his back to finally perch, looking entitled, on his shoulder.

Jane giggled. "She likes you!"

Ryuzaki glanced at the cat. "I'm sure." He would later swear by anything that the cat smiled at him.

"Victoria!" Jane called.

Victoria bounded off Ryuzaki's shoulder, making him wince as she dug in her claws. Turning his attention to the bookshelf, and noticed something a bit odd: all the cookbooks were dessert cookbooks. This train of thought, however, didn't get far, as a tantalizing scent distracted him. Jane appeared from the kitchen, gripping a sheet of pralines.

"You got here just in time," Jane commented. "I just finished making these."

Ryuzaki felt a small smile curve his lips. "I do have great timing."

Jane sat down on the couch and Ryuzaki perched a careful yard away from her. Victoria bounded up next to him, rubbing her head against him, and Jane flipped on the TV.

"_And in other news, the man accused of raping and killing a five year old child has been caught and his trial is pending…" _

Jane abruptly changed the station. Ryuzaki glanced at her, curious. Her face was slightly red, and her eyes blazed.

"People like that make my blood boil," she growled under her breath.

Ryuzaki raised an eyebrow. _What a curious reaction… this will be interesting indeed… _

… … …

At about six o' clock that night, Ryuzaki pushed back into his apartment, carrying a plate of pralines. The first thing he noticed was the phone ringing, shrill and insistent. He took his time setting down the plate. As he crouched to answer the phone, he set to picking the vast amount of white cat hair off his jeans.

"Yes?" he asked, sounding surprisingly cheerful, even to his own ears.

"L! Thank god I finally got you!" Mello sounded hysterical. "Do you have any idea how long we've been trying? Three hours! Three hours, L! What have you been doing for three hours?"

"Four and a half, actually," L corrected him calmly.

"Where were you?"

"At my neighbor's house," he answered, still cheerfully. "She makes wonderful pralines."

"I should have known!" Mello snapped."You gave us a heart attack for pralines! _Pralines_! And you know another thing…?"

Ryuzaki carefully set down the phone and went over to the couch, where he proceeded to sit there and eat pralines, listening with some amusement to the quiet buzz of Mello's rant. At one point the buzz got louder and changed pitch, probably when Mello realized that he was being ignored. L found himself smiling and, after a momentary debate, got up and went out the door, heading for Jane's apartment.

… … …

Though Ryuzaki himself would never admit it, Mello's prediction came true. L hardly ever slept, but it would have appeared suspicious if he was active both day and night. He only slept one night a week, and for only about four hours at that. Any longer and his exhaustion wasn't harsh enough to suppress the nightmares, and they would surface. He quickly became board with the TV and computer, and felt guilty that so many criminals were running free.

So the solution was obvious: so long as he was very, very careful, _L_ could become a creature of the night. Not directly, of course, but he could help nudge the police along with tips and such. And of course he was still working under names such as Coil and Deneuve. So a schedule formed: during the day, he was a normal guy, Rue Ryuzaki; during the night he went to various police stations, tipping them off and dropping off mysterious files on unsolved cases, the type of thing he did for fun. He was on the opposite end of Japan, so he figured- as long as he was careful –that he was safe. Very few people knew him as L, anyway, and they lived far away.

One night, he crept out the back of his condo. He was living on the third floor, so he had hung a latter on his balcony, not wanting to risk running into Jane or some other neighbor. He clambered down it, dropping the last half-floor and rolling to get rid of his momentum. Scrabbling up, he scuttled away, clutching a manila envelope to his chest.

Like every other night, L entered the brightly lit police station, making his way to the tip desk. He dropped the whole folder into the anonymous tip box, and turned to leave.

"Ryuzaki?"

He heard his name. And, out of sheer reflex, responded. He turned. Only to meet the gaze of a wide-eyed Matsuda.

"Ryuzaki!" the young man cried jubilantly. "L!"

Heads turned, but L was gone, bolting out the door and streaking into the night, Matsuda pounding after him. Despite his posture, L was quick… but Matsuda was fast, too, and had good eyes. He kept L in sight for a long time, almost catching up to him twice.

_Please, _L pleaded mentally, _give up! Leave me be! _

The detective vaulted into a tree, scrabbling up it like a cat. He heard the clatter of Matsuda climbing an adjacent fire escape. L paused halfway up. Then, he saw his escape: a supply truck moving steadily towards them. Finding a sturdy branch, he clambered out along it, gathered his long limbs under him, and sprang, doing several calculations in his head at once. He hit the top of the truck hard, rolling, and nearly falling off the edge. He gripped the edge tightly, with both hands, his bare toes finding a slight ridge to grip on the side of the truck. Peering over the top of the truck, he saw Matsuda standing on the roof. The younger man's eyes were locked on the truck, but he had no way of following.

… … …

L, for all his self and not self-induced sleep deprivation, was absolutely spent by the time he got back to his apartment. The sun was only just coming up, and he had gotten off the truck almost 10 miles away, for safety's sake, spending the rest of the night flitting from shadow to shadow, trying to get home before anyone missed him. he might have collapsed on the floor had he not made it far enough into the apartment; as it was, he flopped down on the couch, sprawling in a most un-L-like way. No sooner was he falling asleep than there was a knock at the door. Groaning with annoyance, he dragged himself up. _Heavens, I've never felt this bad in my life…_

"Hi!" Jane was holding a plate of chocolate chip pancakes. Her smile vanished. "Oh, gosh, you look terrible!"

"I feel worse," Ryuzaki grumbled. He motioned her in. Sitting in his chair, he yawned uncharacteristically. "Can you please grab me some coffee and sugar?" he asked, knowing that he would get no sleep.

"Sure." She smiled kindly and vanished into the kitchen.

Ryuzaki, struggling to keep his eyes open, flipped on the TV. He didn't notice Jane poke her head out of the kitchen.

"And another alleged sighting of the missing L," the announcer was saying, "though this one seems a bit more credible. It was here in our very own police station."

The next thing that they showed was a red-faced Matsuda ducking and weaving though a crowd of shouting reporters. L cringed in sympathy for the young man before turning to a different station. The same article was on there, too. With a slight scowl, he flicked off the TV.

"Here you go." Jane handed him his coffee and a bag of sugar cubes.

"Thanks. I don't kno-o-o-o-o-w…" he trailed off, yawning again, and drained the coffee-moistened sugar in one long drink before finishing, "why I'm so tired. I got a couple of hours of sleep last night."

"I'm sure I don't know." Jane said, rubbing his shoulder. L cringed slightly at her touch, not used to the contact and unsure if it felt good or bad.

In reality though, Jane's words were a lie. She was working on a theory.

**(A/N) Dun dun dun… working on a theory… hmmm… now what could that be? What did you think? Please tell me! If you do, Jane will make you pralines! **


	3. Part One Chapter Three

_Three weeks past. L vanished completely, and Ryuzaki started to become more involved in the world around him. He was settling in, content. He missed his work, though, and still maintained the names Eraldo Coil and D_, as well as a couple other detective codes. He could do that on his own terms, though, so he was okay with it. _

… … …

"Hey, Ry!" Jane called from down the hall, waving.

"Hi, Jane," Ryuzaki answered, holding up one hand in greeting.

"On your way to work?"

"Yeah," Ryuzaki still couldn't get used to the phrase. _Going to work…_ Before, he had never left work.

"My place for diner?" Jane asked.

"Sure." Ryuzaki brightened visibly at the prospect. He made his way down the stairs, quite content. The walk to work was relatively short, just across the street and down a block. Ryuzaki pushed the door open, and nodded to a couple of people who greeted him. His boss (an entirely new concept), Ray, waved. Ryuzaki acknowledged the motion before taking his place behind the counter. He had needed a job, for the sake of appearances, so he had picked a place where he could work around something that he loved. Also, he didn't need the calculator to tell people how much their doughnuts would cost that day.

The scent of the shop evoked so many memories. As Ryuzaki busied himself with arranging the pastries just right, he imagined that he could hear his mother moving just behind him. He had no conscious memory of her, no image in his mind's eye, but he remembered _something._ It was more like a feeling than anything, a warmth. Watari had refused to tell him anything about his parents at all; the only thing he had was this feeling of his mother. He knew it was his mother, and had no concept, at all, of his father; when someone said that word, Watari was always brought to mind. But when someone said mother… he also remembered sweets, baked goods… the two memories complimented each other beautifully, to the point where Ryuzaki knew that they had to be connected. _What I wouldn't give… _

As he thought, he collected the doughnuts that a costumer was specifying. He collected the money and handed out the change without really thinking about it, though his calculations were flawless. He was still deep in his thoughts about his mother when a voice spoke up.

"I'll take a chocolate doughnut, please."

"I'm sorry; you'll have to place your order over…" Ryuzaki started to point to the end of the line, but then his brain caught up with the reflex. His heart stopped and he whipped around from where he was cleaning the counter.

Mello stood, arms crossed, just behind the counter. Near was just behind him, glancing furtively around. Ryuzaki struggled to restart his heart.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, when he had collected enough of his mind to speak.

"We came for some doughnuts, obviously," Mello snorted, grabbing L's hand and dragging him forward. "We need to talk."

"I'm in the middle of my shift," L objected calmly, although the excuse seemed weak and somewhat clichéd.

"You need to wake up," Near snapped. "Why are you even here?"

"This is my job," Ryuzaki tried to stay calm.

"Like hell it is!" Mello yelled, losing his temper. Heads turned. "You don't belong here! And you're coming back, whether you want to or not!"

"I don't have anywhere to go," Ryuzaki pointed out, with some amount of panic forming, "this is my life."

"Like hell it is!" Mello repeated.

"Mello…" Near looked around cautiously.

"Shut up!" snapped Mello. "I'm tired of waiting for him to come to his senses! Damn it, you might not want to admit it, but I'm not afraid to: _we need him!_ God damn it, we need L!" The blonde pulled out a pair of handcuffs. L jumped at the sight of them.

"Security!" he called, without hesitation.

Mello's face flushed, and he lunged. L whipped around, kicking the mafia leader in the chest. Mello staggered back, colliding with a burly guard who seized him quickly.

"A problem, Ryuzaki-san?" a second asked as he grabbed Near roughly.

"I don't know," L injected just the right amount of fear and uncertainty into his voice, though his eyes remained cold and calm. "These two people attacked me out of nowhere."

"What business do you have with my employee?" asked Ray, the manager, coming up.

"Our only business is with _L_!" spat Mello, surging forward.

"L?" L asked. "You mean that detective who turned up missing over a month ago? Is he around here? I mean, I know there have been sightings, but…"

"And what does this have to do with my shop?" Ray demanded.

"_He is L_!" shrieked Mello, thrusting himself forward and almost breaking free of the guard's hold. He writhed madly, trying to reach his holster. Ryuzaki jumped back with an apt but fake horrified look.

"He's a lunatic!" he cried, backing away.

"He's L," Mello continued to screech, "and he's a fool! A craven, delusional fool!"

L felt Mello's words cut into him, but was careful not to show any sign of it. He knew his actions hurt Mello and Near; they must feel like he had abandoned them. He felt a sharp stab of guilt as he caught Near's eye; the white haired boy glared at him.

_I'm sorry, _Ryuzaki pleaded with his eyes, _please forgive me. _

Near looked away; he kept his head down as he and the still-hysterical Mello were guided away. Ray laid a hand on Ryuzaki's shoulder, and the raven-haired man tried not to flinch away.

"Well, those two cooks'll spend the rest of their lives in a padded cell. The blond one, at least," he scratched his chin thoughtfully, "though the little one with the white hair looked sensible."

"Good thing, too." Only years of practice kept L acting normal. "Can you believe it? Me? L? They're insane!"

"Lucky security was on their toes," Ray continued. He glanced at Ryuzaki, who couldn't stop himself from trembling ever so slightly. "Hey, why don't you take the rest of the day off? You've been though a lot today."

"I think I'll do that, thanks," Ryuzaki said. He numbly made his way across the street to his apartment, ignoring Jane's cheerful call when he entered the building. Instead, he pushed into his apartment, flopping face-down on the couch, and cried. Ryuzaki, L, cried. He cried hard, for only the fourth time in his life.


	4. Part One Chapter Four

**(A/N) Yatta! And update!**

**A couple quick notes about this chapter: I wrote L's dream sequences in first person, just for the heck of it. They're also italicized. At one point dream kind of blurs with reality, but hopefully that won't be that confusing. Also, I did a concept sketch of Jane, and decided that she looks better with long hair, not short. So I've made that minor change to her description in the first chapter.**

**On the subject of Jane, I just want to clarify something: she is NOT a self-insert. My beta-who-is-not-really-a-beta was wondering, because she kind of has my fashion sense in the first chapter (I like flare jeans and have several Beatles shirts). But I actually put a lot of thought into her character, and she is NOT me. Also, I've tried very hard to avoid making her a "Mary-Sue," so please alert me if it's drifting that way.**

**Enough of that. Thank you to my reviewers:****orangeeclipse and invisible-gurl. Thank you so very much!** **On with the story!**

**I do not own L or Death Note. If I did own L, he would be held captive in my room for all eternity.**

"Wah!" Ryuzaki bolted upright, tumbling off his couch and landing with an agonizing_thud_ on the ground, cracking his head painfully on the coffee table. Moaning with pain and left over terror from his nightmare, he staggered up, holding his head with one hand. A moment later, he heard a knock at the door.

"Ry? Ryuzaki? You okay in there?"

_Jane…_ he thought disconnectedly, unable to quite hold on to a train of thought.

"Ry!" Jane cried when he opened the door. "Are you okay? Oh, God, you're bleeding!"

For the first time, Ryuzaki became aware that his hand was wet. He took it away from his head and stared at the hot, red blood. He shook his head in bewilderment, feeling it throb in protest.

"I hadn't noticed…" he said in a dazed way.

"Well, come on! We have to get it cleaned up!" Jane herded a befuddled Ryuzaki back into his apartment. So it was that, within the next half-hour the young girl took it upon herself to wash Ryuzaki's bloodied hair. The ex-detective felt confused, as though he couldn't quite grasp what was going on.

"Now lay down," Jane ordered. I doubt that- even if he had been in his right mind –Ryuzaki would have dared to argue. He lay in his bed, allowing Jane to pull the covers up around him.

_I found myself in the middle of a battlefield. The battlefield where I had prevented WWIII. Where I had met Watari. I had been eight years old._

"_L. L Lawliet," Watari came up, using my true name, "the world needs you. From this moment on, you will serve the world. That will be your life."_

_He fastened a pair of handcuffs on me. I writhed, but felt myself frozen._My life is not my own,_I realized dully._It never will be.

_Everything vanished, and years went by. I was spending hours, days on end staring at screens. No sun. No rest. No one there. All alone. Trapped. Enslaved…_

"Yah!" Ryuzaki leaped into the air, and then yelped again in alarm as he fell from his bed, tangled in the blanket, and landed with an unpleasant _thump_ on the ground. This noise alerted Jane, who came rushing in.

Ryuzaki, slightly more present this time, felt hot embarrassment and clambered up, trying to untangle his long legs from the covers as he tried to shake off the terror of the dream. _Enslaved…_ the word echoed in his mind, frightening him.

"I'm fine," he told Jane, rubbing his head, yet his hand encountered a bandage in his unusually fluffy hair. "Why is there a…" he began, but then he amended his question, focusing on the strangest part of the whole situation, "My hair is clean. Why is my hair _clean_?"

"I washed it."

"…"

"It had blood all over it," Jane clarified.

"… and why did it have… no, why did you feel the need to wash it?"

"Well, because I'm your friend! And you seemed to need help," Jane smiled.

"… Out."

A look of confusion crossed Jane's face. "Why?"

"Out," Ryuzaki repeated. Then, he added in a softer voice, "Please… this is hard enough for me already."

"…" Jane was about to object, but then shrugged. She had gotten used to his absurd pride and lone-wolf mentality. She left, calling back, "Just come over if you need anything, okay?"

Ryuzaki nodded. "I will."

Once he was alone again, the whole world seemed darker. He walked shakily to his kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He dumped a dozen sugar cubes into his cup and grabbed a couple boxes of Panda March cookies. As an afterthought, he grabbed the bag of sugar cubes, too. Making his way into the living room, he flicked on the TV. The news was plastered with missing persons and crime; L changed the channel with a discussed growl.

Working his way steadily through the panda cookies, he flicked through five movies, a comedy skit, three reality shows, and a nature show without stopping. He finally left it on a cartoon, harmless white noise. But he grew quickly board with it, and it allowed his mind to wander, which was exactly what he wanted to avoid. With an annoyed _huff_, Ryuzaki pulled out his chess set. Playing with himself provided a temporary distraction, but, upon some thought, it brought back too many painful memories. Shoving the board and pieces onto the floor in an uncharacteristic display of temper, he pulled out his laptop. It was a special made machine that he hadn't been willing to part with.

When it came to life, he was immediately assaulted with news stories only a select few computers picked up. "MELLO AND NEAR," proclaimed one, "ARESTED!" Another read, "L, ALIVE AND WELL?" He clicked on the later.

"_L, ALIVE AND WELL?_

"_Has the hero who so often saved the world really died? Or just left us? Has he abandoned the world, and the many people who need him? The people who knew him cry "No!" but speculation persists…"_

L closed the laptop forcefully. The machine automatically shut down, erasing the history of what sights he had visited. Getting up, he started to pace, putting another sugar cube in his mouth. He started to tidy the house, organizing the kitchen and bedroom. He felt his hand reach the bottom of the once-full sugar cube bag, and he scowled in annoyance.

Ryuzaki's tiding brought him to his bathroom. He had never liked mirrors, and so, when he had moved in, he had covered that one with a black plastic bag. He had never liked mirrors because he didn't like to think that he had a body. But… he was embracing that body with every action he took. He ripped the bag away.

He stood there, staring at his own reflection, looking himself in the eye.

_I saw blood red eyes appear behind me._

"B," Ryuzkai acknowledged.

_The red-eyed apparition laughed. "Hello, L."_

"_I am no longer L," I said softly._

"_Oh, but aren't you?" Beyond Birthday asked, his long fingers curling around my arms. "I am just like you. Just like you, I have toyed with throwing it all away, not striving to be like you any longer. But, since I am just like you, I always come back to my senses. To die, you must truly die."_

"No…" Ryuzkai moaned, clutching at his head. He tried to close his eyes, but B was there, too, everywhere, in his very mind. Ryuzkai staggered backwards.

_I stumbled back, trying to get away, and felt something brush my shoulder. A hand. A cold, lifeless hand. I turned, my whole body cold with dread. The body of A was hanging from my bathroom ceiling. And he began to speak._

"_L… I died to be like you… and you can't escape that…" Blood flowed from his eyes as they rolled back in his head, and he convulsed._

"No!" Ryuzkai screamed, dropping to the ground.

"_Hehn, hehn, hehn…" B's laugh reefed around me._

_A's scream filled my ears._

_I couldn't escape it._

"No…!" L started to choke on his twisted sobs, terrified and guilt ridden. He stayed there for quite a long time, trying to get control of his pounding heart. When he straightened up, he looked at the mirror again.

_And all I saw was a white screen, with a gothic letter L floating in the center._

Ryuzkai turned on both the TV and the radio, hoping to keep his mind occupied. The sounds formed a jumbled background of white noise as he tried to keep his hands busy. He kept the volumes low, not wanting Jane to hear the muddled noise that so accurately mirrored his mind. At the end of the night- the sun was making its appearance –he flopped down on the couch, automatically curling into his trademark crouch. His head felt oddly light, but was still filled with disturbing thoughts.

"I'm losing my mind!" he announced to no one.

_I found black water all around me, clogging my ears and nose and mouth. It sucked at me, as though trying to devour me. I floundered desperately, unable to break free._

"_Why, L…? We trusted you… you abandoned us…" the voices echoed endlessly around me, "…so many people will die needlessly… return to us, Lost one… return to your fate… you were always fated to serve…"_

_I tried to yell, tried to scream, tried to do anything at all, but I felt my limbs frozen, my heart in the numbing grasp of blinding terror and binding guilt._

"Yah!" Ryuzkai bolted upright for the third time in 24 hours. This time, though, he didn't fall, just hunched over, terrified and shuttering. _I can't go on like this…_ he thought. L had a very strong spirit, and a resilient mind, but those nightmares… His nerves were frayed and his mind was scattered. He took a deep breath. There was only one thing that he could do.

About 5 minutes later, Jane received a knock at the door. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, she opened the door. Just outside stood a twitchy, nervous, haggard young man clutching a pillow like it was a lifeline. His eyes were wide and frightened, guilt and sheer terror showing in their murky black depths, and he had dark circles under his eyes as though he hadn't slept in his whole life.

"Ryuzkai!" she came forward, gripping her friend tightly. _I knew I shouldn't have left him alone_…

"Uh… hello, Jane," he said. "Do you mind… if I… come over for a bit?"

"Of course not," she said, ushering him in.

And just like that, L wasn't alone anymore.

**(A/N) KAWAII!**

**Okay, so, from now on, if you review, I'll be sending out the next chapter title and maybe some hints! So please, please review!**


	5. Part One Chapter Five

**(A/N) I'm BAAAAAACK! Yay for me! Did you miss Jane and I? No, really, I am out for the summer, but my vacation hasn't actually started yet. We are moving. Even though it's just to another condo in the same complex, where we're already sort of living, it's gonna be hard and time consuming.**

**Anywhos, this might get in the way of updates, but they'll still be a lot more frequent.**

**Anywhos… about this chapter: um… nothing really to write here. Just that I wrote it while sitting like L! =3**

**Thanks to my reviewers: orangeeclipse and****invisible-gurl! A special thanks to orangeeclipse, who voiced support when I posted that update!**

**I do not own Death Note or L, only my OC Jane. I do, however, own some sugar cubes, which makes me very happy. X3**

Ryuzaki paced back and forth, the ring of the phone shrill in his ear. "Come on, pick up," he urged quietly.

It had been three days since Mello and Near had appeared. Ryuzaki had spent the majority of his time at Jane's house; if he tried to stay at his own place, he started to either hallucinate or have horrible nightmares. Now he was on a quest to make amends.

_Beep_.

"It's me. Please call. Soon."

L ended the call and dialed Mello's phone. His didn't even ring; the machine picked up right away.

"M. It's me. We need to talk. _I_ need to talk. Please call back."

Ryuzaki flipped his phone shut with a sigh. That made 32 calls. To each of them. "I need to talk," he repeated softly.

A knock at the door startled him. He turned just as Jane let herself in.

"Hi there!" she called, carrying a large plate of… strawberry cookies, by the looks of them. "I brought you some lunch!"

Ryuzaki felt a smile come to his face, despite the things he was going through. "Thanks Jane," he said earnestly, but there was a note of exhaustion in his voice.

"You been trying to call your cousins again?" she asked, raising one eyebrow. "You need to sleep."

"Yes mother," L growled, but then smiled. "I have to get in touch with them."

"Then go visit them," Jane suggested. "They can't ignore you if you show up at their doors."

"No…" Ryuzaki didn't tell her why; he was half afraid Mello would shoot him before he got within earshot. Or get caught in their security systems. _But maybe taking that risk would prove that I'm serious_…

"Stop it!" Jane chided, slapping him on the shoulder. Ryuzaki winced. "you're going to drive yourself insane!"

"I'm already going insane! You should know that!" Ryuzaki buried his head in his hands. "My cousins are like brothers to me. We grew up together. And I let them down."

Jane looked around, looking for something to distract him. That was when she spotted the discarded chess set.

"Hey!" she prodded him in the shoulder. "You play chess?"

Ryuzaki raised his head, and a small smile came to his lips. "Do I play? Look in there." He motioned to a box near the TV; it was another thing he hadn't been willing to part with. They had been stored at Wammy's House before.

"Oh, wow!" Jane pulled out a giant, dusty trophy. L had made sure that they had already been re-inscribed, Rue Ryuzaki, along with the appropriate date. "These are all first place! In really big tournaments, too!"

"I haven't played in months," Ryuzaki shrugged.

"Want to play?"

Jane's question caught him off guard. "It wouldn't be fun for you."

"Come on!" Jane said. "You'd be surprised!"

Ryuzaki swiveled to face her. "You really want to play?"

Jane was already setting up the pieces. "I call white."

And so the match began. It soon became obvious to the man once called L that there would be no easy win; he didn't take Jane seriously at first, but soon found that he actually had to try. Every maneuver he attempted was blocked, or turned against him.

"Check!" Jane announced gleefully, for about the third time in as many plays.

L captured her rook, the offending piece, and allowed himself a small smile. Now all she needed to do was take the bait, and she did. Her pawn moved in to capture his bishop, allowing his queen to slip inside her screen and take her own queen. Jane kept her face perfectly straight as she examined the board. Three turns later, her knight found its way into the spot where his queen had been just a moment ago.

"Mate!" she announced, sitting back.

L stared in bewilderment at the board. It dawned on him a moment later: what he had thought was his trap- to gain her queen –had really been her trap all along. She had needed to get his queen out of the way, so she had put out the ultimate bait: her own queen. He shook his head in amazement.

"Wow," he said.

Jane beamed.

"We play again!" he declared.

Jane's eyes sparkled. "Of course!"

… … …

Three games later, they found themselves tied at two games apiece. Jane yawned.

"Great game, it's been forever since I've had a challenge."

"You're telling me," L stretched, feeling better than he had in a long time.

"Hey, I've got some sugar cookies back at my apartment. Sorry, I'm out of chocolate chips."

"That's fine," Ryuzaki wasn't paying particular attention; he was putting the pieces away, actually rather tired.

Jane left, and the other busied himself with chores. He turned the TV on, but found the news far too depressing. He finally left it on a reality show, though he had no interest in the frivolous thing. He simply left it on so that the room was not silent.

About an hour after Jane had left, he had finally exhausted all the things he could do around the house, and so he went to lay down, not even bothering to turn the TV off. He was startled by a knock at the door.

_Probably Jane,_ he thought. _Oh, yeah, didn't she say something about cookies?_

He shuffled to the door, opening it, finding that just outside sat a cake, with a chess-shaped cookie on top. He smiled and took it inside, mentally debating on whether or not to eat it that night. _I could just as easily stay up_, he thought. _I don't need to sleep tonight._He examined the rook-shaped chocolate chip cookie; it looked delicious. He bit into it; it _was_delicious.

After a few more bites, however, he noticed something strange: the powdered sugar on top of the cookie didn't taste like powdered sugar. He licked it hesitantly, wrinkling his nose. _Definitely not powdered sugar. What did Jane put on this?_

That's when he finally realized it: _Jane…_chocolate chips…_she doesn't have any!_

L jumped up, sending his chair clattering backwards. _Hospital? No, 'Rue Ryuzaki' doesn't have any medical records. Then what-?"_

He felt his legs spasm and give out._God, I am such an idiot! I should have noticed! Why didn't I notice?_ _Near!_He was about as close to panic as he had ever been when he finally hit upon it._And Mello!_

He tried to reach his cell phone, his body shutting down. He groped on the coffee table for it, seizing the small piece of metal. He flipped it open, but his body didn't cooperate. He lost all control of his body, and the phone went flying away. L lost consciousness moments later, his body still twitching convulsively. It was sheer luck when the cell phone bounced off the leg of the table, in the process hitting speed dial 1: Near. Then it came to a rest less than an inch from L.

But the phone rand and rang; Near never picked up.

**(A/N) Ahhh! Cliffy! I'm pretty much falling asleep right now, so I'll just say I hope you liked it, and please tell me what you thought! Was it worth the wait?**


	6. Part One Chapter Six

**(A/N) Yay! I'm back! I actually really like this chapter. For the purposes of this story, I've kind of warped a few things, like Mello and Near's ages. They're actually a lot younger than L, but in this story their closer, maybe five years apart or something like that.**

**Anywhos, sorry for the late update, but the chapter is really long, so I hope that makes up for it. P:**

**Anywhos, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much to my reviewers, ravenshadows08, "C", invisible-gurl, and orangeeclipse!**

**Two messages, since I don't have time to type them up individually, which is kind of pathetic.**

**To ravenshadows08, I think that they're mad at him for, ya know, calling security on them. xD**

**And to orangeeclipse, They went fine, thanks so much for asking! Although I did end up with a "C" in biology. -_- Merciful cake… curse that teacher…**

**I do not own Death Note! I do, however, now own two adorable Nedoroids! *looks over at L and Light and squeals***

Near sat in his room, absently twirling one strand of his snow white hair. His cell phone rang; Mello, who was sitting in the corner, skimming through EBay, snickered.

"That fool! Does he really thing we're going to answer?" Near only shrugged, and the other laughed. "Well, it certainly is entertaining!"

Near shrugged again. Every time L called, it took more inner strength for him to not answer. L was his long time mentor… and friend. He wanted, more than anything, to make amends. They had grown up together. But N had learned that what he wanted he wanted didn't matter.

Beep. The message machine picked.

Silence.

More silence.

Near and Mello glanced at each other. Mello started to say something, but Near silenced him. The small boy had sharp ears, always had. Now he leaned close to the phone. Just faintly… breathing. But not normal breathing; panting, labored breathing. He could also hear the faint buzz of a… TV. Yes, a reality show. The kind of thing that L would never leave on.

"L's in trouble," Near announced, getting up and going to the door.

After a moment's hesitation, Mello followed. When they reached the parking lot, however, he took the lead. "We'll take my cycle."

"Wouldn't a copter be faster?"

Mello slapped him on the back of the head. "Moron. He's in an apartment. That would draw too much attention."

So they clambered onto Mello's motorcycle. Near was left clinging for dear life to Mello, face buried in the blonde's back.

… … …

Jane came to Ryuzaki's door; she was carrying a plate of sugar cookies. "Ry?" she called, knocking. "Ry?"

When there was no answer, she shrugged, figuring quite reasonably that he was asleep. She let herself in with the key her friend had given her.

"Ry!" she called. "Wake up, sleepyhead! I've got…" She trailed off; although she couldn't quite place it, something was very wrong. That was when she came around the couch in view of the coffee table.

"Ry!" Jane cried, dropping down next to his limp form, sending the sugar cookies clattering. "Ryuzaki! Oh, god, Ry!"

She shook her friend, trying to wake him. After a few moments, sanity kicked in and she held two fingers to his neck. A pulse. Where was his pulse? She couldn't find it. She pressed harder, and finally located a faint, sluggish beat. No sooner had she done that when the door banged open. Jane whipped around.

There were two of them: a short, shaken looking one with pure white hair, and a taller, blonde one with a horrid scar marring his face. The latter had a gun.

"Who the hell are you?" Jane snapped, panic and adrenalin making her reckless. "And what are you doing here?"

"We could ask you the same thing!" snapped the blonde one.

The other stepped forward, catching the blonde's shoulder. He bowed politely. "This is Jane, obviously," he said, startling her. "Ryuzaki told us about you. We are Ryuzaki's cousins. My name is Nick, and this is Mike."

"So you're the ones!" Jane came forward and, without a thought, delivered a stinging slap to the boy she knew as Nick.

Near drew back, cheek smarting, startled at being suddenly face with a red-faced, furious girl.

"Do you have any idea how much Ry has been beating himself up over you? Do you have any idea how desperately he's been trying to call you?" Shaking her head, Jane didn't even pause to consider her words. "Do you have any idea how sorry he is? Do you have any idea, whatsoever, how hard I've had to work to keep him from driving himself completely insane? The first day, he woke up screaming form some nightmare to do with you two! Three times! He showed up an absolute wreak at my door! Be. Cause. Of. You! Do you even give a fig what happens to him? _I don't think so_!"

Near shrunk from this woman's fury. At the same time, though, he was impressed. Mello had a gun, yet that woman was telling them both off. _For L._

"Guys!" Mello snapped, drawing their attention. "If you two would-"

Jane cut off the man she knew as Mike, whipping up her leg and brining her heal down on the back of his head; it wasn't hard, as he was already leaning over Ryuzaki. He stumbled, clutching his head.

"Blasted girl!" he snapped.

"I need to get Ry to a hospital. So if you two could leave…" Jane made a move toward Ryuzaki's prone form. Nick intercepted her.

"I guarantee you, my dear Jane, that he would not want that." Near knew of the lack of medical files; it was the one thing they had overlooked, and now it was coming back to bite them.

"But he'll die!" Jane objected, her rage subsiding in the face of her terror.

"No, he won't," Near assured her, flicking his cell phone open. "Why do you think he called us and not 911?" He motioned to the open phone by the coffee table.

"…" Jane couldn't think of a response. Ryuzaki's confusing actions left her befuddled. _Why wouldn't he call 911?_

"It's because he has a phobia of hospitals," Mello jumped in, taking advantage of the opportunity to humiliate the unconscious L. "Our father, his uncle, is a doctor. He'd much rather have him treat him than the hospital. That's who Nick is calling right now."

"…" It made sense. Jane shook her head in bewilderment.

"Father is on his way," Nick announced. "Jack, help me get him onto the coffee table."

"Why the coffee table?" Jane asked.

"It's flatter and more solid than anything else," the white-haired boy pointed out.

"…" _Obviously_. _Well, don't I feel stupid_, Jane thought.

Mello and Near- Nick and Mike –got Ryuzaki up onto the table with little effort. It was only a few short few minutes before a young man came in, toting a large case.

"Everyone who's not a relative, get out," he said.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Jane objected, but, glaring, left.

Near sighed. "That was close." He turned to the 'doctor.' "Thanks, Matt."

The man pulled off the fake beard. "Any time!"

"Now stand back." Near seized the case and pulled out the various medicines and such. It was him, not Matt, who began to treat L.

… … …

"I knew it!" Jane said softly, staring through a crack in the door as the man she knew as Nick treated Ryuzaki. Her eyes locked on the medical case; it had a big capital 'N' on the side.

_N…_

… … …

Ryuzaki blinked open his eyes. The very first thing he saw was Jane's worried face, and he felt a smile appear on his face.

"Oh Ry!" Jane exclaimed, throwing herself onto him and hugging him tightly.

Ryuzaki tried to push himself up, only to feel the unnerving tug of an IV. His eyes widened in panic, but he found himself in his own living room. With a sigh of relief, he dropped his had back down onto the pillow.

"It's okay," Jane assured him. "Mike explained all about your hospital phobia. Dr. Matt-sama took care of you."

"Dr. Matt-sama…?" L peered around Jane. The man in the fake beard waved. "Ah, Dr. Matt, long time on see. It's good to know my life was in the hands of a trustworthy professional." There was a mocking sarcasm in his voice that Jane could understand because of what she had seen.

Matt smiled and shrugged. "Glad to help."

L saw Mello appear from his kitchen and groaned inwardly; the blonde had found the chocolate bar he had been saving. When he saw that his mentor was awake, the mafia leader swaggered over.

"Hey you," he growled, ruffling L's hair roughly but playfully. "We thought you were a goner there. You're a real idiot, you know, for eating that."

"_You're_the idiot," L said, pausing before completing the thought, "for eating my chocolate. I'm gonna kill you for that!"

Mello ruffled his hair again. L reached up and tousled Mello's pristine blond mane; the mafia leader grumbled something inaudible and turned away to fix it. Near came into the room, then. He came forward and locked eyes with his mentor; peer; friend. After a moment of wordless speech, the two young men embraced tightly.

"Good to see you," Near said roughly.

"I should be saying that," L answered softly. The two men parted, and Ryuzaki addressed Jane. "I see you've met my cousins." He was slightly unnerved by the fact that he had no idea what names N and M were using; one of them was Nike, but…

"Oh, you mean these two cold hearted jerks who almost drove you insane? And then, when you were lying here, invaded and raided your kitchen like they owned the place? Yeah, I've met 'em." L glanced at N and M, and all three of them began to chuckle as some unspoken memory passed between them.

"So Mike," L said, just to see who responded. Mello did. "Where'd you get that chocolate?"

"Oh, ya know," he made a vague gesture towards the kitchen.

"Well give it!" L grabbed hold of the candy, yanking it away from Mello. What ensued was a brief scuffle for the candy as Jane looked on disbelievingly. She had never seen that side of Ryuzaki before. He was hardly ever that… playful. Now she could see why he had been so broken up. The three of them were so close…

"I still can't believe you were that much of an idiot," Near commented, coming up on L's other side. "Really? Poison? Idiot!"

Jane saw a weak spot and jumped on it, intent on learning more. "How could he know? He's just a regular guy!"

Near, Mello, and L turned to look at here. She saw the instant change come over Nick and Mike.

"Of course," Nick said smoothly. "But it was relatively obvious."

"No, it wasn't," she dove deeper. "No ordinary person would be able to tell! In fact, no ordinary person would have realized before it was too late! But Ryuzaki did!"

"My dear Jane," Near kept an even tone, "you must know by now that Ryuzaki is no ordinary person. His father, my uncle, is a police officer, and all three of us have undergone training. That includes poison detection."

Jane knew he was lying. She knew it. But it made sense. And she couldn't think of a way to continue. She was about to try to back down gracefully when L spoke.

"Could you guys give us a minute? I need to talk to Jane." His eyes never left the young woman in front of him.

Near and Mello exchanged glances. Finally, they nodded, and the blonde spoke. "We'll call you later, then." He left, taking a hold of and dragging Matt, who, up to that point, had been playing a video game quietly in the corner. After a hesitation that seemed to stretch on and on, Near finally followed, closing the door behind him.

Jane turned, looking carefully at the man she knew as Ryuzaki. She took a deep breath, knowing she might be about to shatter everything. But meeting Nick and Jack had only reinforced what she had already suspected, and she couldn't let the lies continue. Looking Ryuzaki bravely in the eye, she said simply:

"Hello, L-sama."

**(A/N) Cliffy! X3**

**Come on, who knew it was gonna happen? Jane's a smarty! =3 Come on, she had to be able to hold her own with L, didn't she?**

**More to come soon, I promise! Reviewers get hints about what's to come!**


	7. Part One Chapter Seven

**(A/N) Okay, I'm really, really sorry. This is a late update, plus there was no clue for the reviewers. I've been super, super busy, and I really apologize. **

**Anywhos, I hope this chapter was worth the wait! **

**Thanks to my reviewers, mima1214, orangeeclipse, and invisible-gurl! You guys are the best, and I apologize again for no hint! **

**I do not own Death Note. My L Nendoroid almost lost his arm tonight; I dropped it on the third floor of my building after dark, and had little hope of finding it. Luckily, I did, and L was very relived. **

L nodded slowly. He had known Jane was close to figuring some things out, but it was still a shock to hear it.

"How much to you know?"

"Not much!" Jane snapped in exasperation. "Only that Ryuzaki, _my_ Ryuzaki, doesn't exist. He never did!"

Ryuzaki winced at her cruel words, feeling each one carve into him like a knife. "That's not true," he said softly. "I've never put up any sort of front with you. Ever."

"How can I believe that?" the girl asked plaintively. "You've lied to me about everything!"

"No!" the other objected vehemently. "Can't you see? I was tired of lying! I was tired of being someone I'm not! That's why I left that life!"

Jane stayed silent for a moment, and Ryuzaki jumped on the opportunity. "I wanted my own life. I didn't want to be isolated, trapped, _enslaved_ anymore. That's why I faked my death!" He made a helpless gesture. "Really, some days I wanted to tell you, I really did, but… I wanted to leave my old life behind, really behind; completely behind.

"I wanted you to see me for _me_, not as L. Not as the world sees me. Even they see me as L!" He motioned to the door where Mello and Near had vanished. "We grew up together, but they still… my position as L gets in the way. It taints the way they see me. I didn't want anything to get in the way. I know I lied…" he hung his head, "… but… if there's some way you can understand…"

"But… what about the world?" Jane asked softly, remaining motionless in the face of his confession. "They need you. You know that."

"Yes, but… others will come. Near will be there… I've served for long enough!"

"The world needs you…" Jane continued softly, "but now so do I."

She moved forward, then, and embraced him; he returned her hug, feeling her warmth seep into him, her heartbeat strong against his chest.

"Ryuzaki… I'll never call you by another name."

… … …

Mello and Near watched incredulously. They were staring at a small, portable monitor; Mello had installed the cameras and microphones while his small companion treated L.

"I had no idea…" whispered Mello, "how far gone his mind really was."

Yet Near heard the words. The person on the screen was so different from the person the Force had known. And in that moment, he realized that L really had died. But _the _L had never really existed; the person he and Mello knew had always been Ryuzaki.

"We have to let him do this," he said quietly. Mello's head snapped up.

"What?"

"He had the right to lead his own life," announced Nate River. "We can't get in the way of that. If we want to clam to be his friends, we have to support Ryuzaki."

… … …

"You're 'cousins'…" Jane made air-quotes, "Near and Mello, right?"

"Yes." Ryuzaki nodded. "How did you become so… knowledgeable?"

"I was glued to the TV during the Kira case," she explained. "And even though no one knew your faces, we all knew your names. Or, at least, what you went by."

"I can't tell you how relieved I was when that whole thing was over."

"Don't you ever get bored?" Jane asked curiously. "I mean, you work in a doughnut…"

"Work!" Ryuzaki sprang up, sending the coffee table, which he had been sitting on, clattering backwards. "I'm supposed to be at work! Merciful cake…" he staggered, suddenly dizzy, and landed as gracefully as he could, legs folding under him.

"Hell no!" Jane objected. "I'm calling you in sick!"

"I've been though worse," Ryuzaki pointed out mildly, getting to his feet. _Oh, Cake, my head feels light! _

"Sit down!" Jane ordered fiercely. "Now."

Ryuzaki hesitated; it was against his nature, obeying orders. Still, he realized that, if he tried to stay on his feet, he would fall again and humiliate himself. So he finally flopped into his big chair, tucking his legs under him and leaning back, finding himself exhausted. Jane appeared form the kitchen, a cup of coffee in one hand, a bowl of strawberries in the other, and a cell phone balanced on her shoulder.

"He's really, really sorry," she was saying, "and if it was up to him, he would be _crawling_ to work. But I'm not about to let him." After a moment move she hung up, and handed him the bowl and cup.

"Now eat," she commanded, seeming to get the wrong idea about his policy concerning obeying such orders.

Finding himself genuinely hungry- and convincing himself that that was why he was complying -Ryuzaki obligingly ate what she had given him. After he had finished, he found it increasingly hard to keep his dark eyes open. Jane seemed to sense this.

"Come on," she said gently. "Let's get to bed."

Jane walked closely to Ryuzaki, but didn't quite touch him, no wanting to bruise his pride, already battered that day. He walked slowly, one shoulder rushing the wall for support. They finally reached his bedroom, and Jane helped him into the bed. He curled up, legs tucked up to his chest.

"Thank you."

Ryuzaki breathed it so softly, that, at first, Jane was sure she had imagined it. But when she turned, she met his eyes; they were bright and wide.

"You're welcome."

"You know," Ryuzaki continued quietly, so Jane had to strain to hear, "no one cares about L. L doesn't have a body, or a soul. No heart. Just a mind. And L doesn't need anybody. But you… you seem to care about Ryuzaki. And I _do _have a heart. And I do need you."

Jane didn't know what to say. She was touched, a lump forming in her throat.

"I'm glad," she finally said. Then she came over, placing one hand lightly on his shoulder. For the first time, he didn't flinch or shy away from her touch. He only let out a deep, contented sigh. "Now sleep."

Ryuzaki's eyes slowly slid shut, and Jane gently brushed some raven hair out of his face. With that, Ryuzaki dropped into a deep, peaceful slumber.

**(A/N) Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! **

**Sorry, **_**had**_** to get that out of my system. **

**I really liked this chapter, how about you? Like it? Hate it? Please tell me! Hints this time for sure! **


	8. Part One Chapter Eight

**(A/N) I'm a horrible person. This is so late. I hope the longness makes up for the lateness. **

**I really like this chapter. I think it's cute and sweet, and the story kind of takes a step forward. Anyway… **

**Thank you so much to my reviewers! Invisible-gurl, sharebearthedeathbear, ShadowedSerenity, and CocoBunni96! You guys really make my day! :) **

**I do not own Death Note. I do, however, own an L plushie now and I take him everywhere and cuddle him and love him. =3 **

_Five days passed. Ryuzaki made a full recovery- his body was young and resilient. Jane didn't give him much of a choice, either. She became a permanent fixture in his condo, looking out for him, whether he liked it or not. But, no matter what he said, no matter how much he complained, he did like it. _

"I'm going to go crazy."

"I don't care." Jane planted her feet more firmly in front of the door. "Near says you shouldn't leave until a week has passed."

"Don't you think I know my body better than Near does?" he asked seriously.

"No," Jane answered, equally serious. "He has certificates."

"He went to college," Ryuzaki pointed out dryly. "Three times. I did it five. You want to see certificates?" He bent, dragging out a box from under the couch. Dusting it off, he handed it to her.

Of course they were all made out to 'Rue Ryuzaki.' But Jane knew they were real. It went from Batchers' degrees to three PHDs, one in psychology, one in math, and one in geo-nuclear physics. She raised one eyebrow.

"When did you have time for all this?"

"Oh, I got them over the internet. Just time fillers. For… lulls in cases, and the such."

"Well, I don't see a medical degree in here," Jane declared. "So in you stay."

"But…"

"No buts!" Jane snapped. "Now off your feet! If you want me to let you out after a week…"

"Another two days," Ryuzaki corrected indignantly.

"Another two days," the slight girl conceded, "then you need to take care of yourself until then."

"This is ridiculous," Ryuzaki grumbled, although he lacked the motivation to fight.

"Now sit back and relax!" the other ordered. "I'll be right back with your coffee."

It never entered Jane's mind that her patient would disobey. But, of course, when she came back with the coffee, Ryuzaki was gone.

"That no good, lousy…" she growled, and then her grumbling turned inaudibly as she pulled on her jacket, as it was raining.

… … …

Ryuzaki, of course, was quite content, unconcerned with the girl he had left at home. He was walking down the street, rain slowly soaking his hair, his bare feet splashing softly in the puddles. The air was cool and crisp, and he delighted in the scents and sounds of rain and life around him. _Delighted… _what a strange word. _Have I ever been… delighted…?_ he asked himself.

"Ry!" Jane' s voice cut through the breeze, and the sound of her sneakers splashing through the water appeared. "Ryuzaki!"

Ryuzaki turned, feeling a smile break out on his face. The brunette grabbed his hand, jerking him back toward their apartments.

"You're going to get sick!"

"No I'm not," ex-detective scoffed. "I don't _get_ sick. Ever."

"You're just human," Jane scolded.

"I know." Ryuzaki twisted away from her, continuing on his path.

"Hey!" the girl called, going after him. "Where do you think you're going?"

Ryuzaki shrugged. "I don't know." The thought pleased him. His entire life, he had had something that he needed to be doing, somewhere he needed to be, every minute of every day. It felt good to take a walk with no purpose or direction.

"You don't know?" Jane caught up with him. "Then why are you still walking? Why don't you come back home?"

"If I had a destination, that would give my walk a purpose," Ryuzaki explained patiently.

"And that's a bad thing?"

The raven-haired man turned his face up to the drizzling rain, feeling the wind nipped bitterly through his thin shirt. "Yes. I just want to walk for the sake of walking. Be for the sake of being. Live, just for the sake of living."

Jane, disgruntled but understanding, couldn't object. And so she found herself sloshing through the rain after him. The farther they got from their apartments, though, the edgier she got. Some irrational part of her mind was worried that he would suddenly collapse.

Slowly but surely, though, the young girl found herself enjoying the rain. It certainly was… romantic. _I wish he would put his arm around me… _Stiffening, she stopped dead. The thought, she realized, had been totally unconscious. She put one hand to her chest. _I hadn't even noticed… _

"Is something wrong?" Ryuzaki, who had noticed her sudden stop, turned to ask. The detective's unblinking eyes were fixed on her. _Bottomless, soulful eyes… stop it! _she chastised herself internally. _He's my best friend! I won't risk that for something as trivial as a crush! _

"No, just… admiring the rain."

"You're a horrible liar," Ryuzaki announced, but, to her relief, didn't press the matter.

… … …

_She really is a horrible liar…_ Ryuzaki thought as he walked on. He smiled inwardly. The sidewalk curved, and led them into a small grove of trees, where the path dissolved into pebbly mud that squished slightly under his bare feet. The canopy of trees created a dark green hue to the light. The raindrops glittered in slow motion, like tiny sparkly stars.

_There is… so much beauty in the world… I never even realized… _

Ryuzaki jumped at the light touch on his shoulder. He turned to find himself staring into Jane's dark brown eyes.

"It's beautiful…" he found himself saying. It startled him.

"I know," Jane answered simply.

… … …

"I can't believe I let you do that!" Jane said, shoving her companion roughly back into his apartment. "You're going to get sick!"

"No, I'm not," Ryuzaki scoffed. He knew he wouldn't.

"You went out, in a thin shirt, with no shoes, in the rain. And did you know that sugar depresses you're immune system?"

"Not mine!" the sugar addict declared.

"You're just human!" Jane objected.

"…" With no response for this, Ryuzaki scrambled onto his chair, grabbing the bag of sugar cubes from the table. A second later, though, it was snatched from his hand. He stared for a moment, unable to grasp what had just happened. No one, at Wammy's House or anywhere else, had ever taken something from him.

"What…"he asked slowly, "did you do that for?"

"No more sugar. That's it."

"Give it…" he said softly, "back."

"No!" Jane stepped out of his reach. "I'm not letting you run your health into the ground anymore."

"Come on," Ryuzaki found the slightest whine creeping into his voice.

"No. You're going to get sick. You'll see." Then the seemingly gentle girl stalked into his kitchen; Ryuzaki hopped up and followed her. When he got there, he found her in the process of shoving all his boxes of Panda March and Pocky into a bag.

"Quit it!" Sounding like a petulant child, Ryuzaki made a move to stop her, but she pointed a long wooden spoon at him.

"Stay back!" she snapped, and rapped him soundly on the head.

"Ow…" Ryuzaki winced as Jane quickly finished ransacking his kitchen. By the time she was done, she had two large bags full of various sweets.

"You'll thank me for this later!" Jane declared, and then backed out, still brandishing the wooden spoon. To add insult to injury, she slammed the door shut rather abruptly in his face.

Ryuzaki stood, dumbfounded for a moment. Dumbfounded. He could count on one hand- no, he couldn't think of any –when he had been… dumbfounded. He shuffled to the kitchen, perhaps in the vain hope that Jane had missed something. She hadn't. All that was in the kitchen was a loaf of bread and a bushel of carrots (which he was sure Jane had brought, they _hadn't_ been there before). Not a single grain of sugar. Sighing, with little else to do, he trekked back to the living room.

Some time passed and he sat, for the longest time, staring moodily at the TV, his belly grumbling. He couldn't seem to keep his mind from wandered uncharacteristically, certainly due to lack of sugar. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he had to go to Jane's apartment. He put this plan into action, and was just about to knock when he heard an odd sound from inside her apartment.

"Jane?" Ryuzaki called, somewhat hesitantly. "Are you there?"

He heard shuffling inside, and the door creaked open. Ryuzaki couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face.

"You're…"

"Sick," Jane affirmed glumly. "Your stuff's in the kitchen." Then she shuffled back into her apartment, flopping down on the soft red couch, where she grabbed a tissue and blew her nose loudly. Ryuzaki made his way happily to the kitchen and pulled out a box of Pocky, which he gleefully ripped open. He walked back into the living room, finding the table in the way; he ducked down, though not before snatching a cupcake off the table, and scuttled under it, holding said cupcake in his mouth.

"While 'ur down there," Jane's voice sounded odd, and Ryuzaki felt a twinge of sympathy, "can you grab me a book over there? Any _InuYasha_'ll do."

Ryuzaki scurried over, picking out the appropriate manga book. The cupcake still clutched in his mouth, he reversed right under the coffee table, not even bothering to turn around, ducking his head. When he emerged he came right up into a crouch, presenting the book.

"Thanks."

"'Welcome."

Ryuzaki hopped up onto the couch beside her, then, putting the whole cupcake into his mouth. After a moment, he spat out the wrapper. Then he got up again, moving to where Jane was curled, her nose buried in the manga book. With little warning, he reached out and put one hand on her neck, making her jump.

"You have a fever," he announced.

"I could have told you that."

"About 101.3… maybe 101.4, I'd say."

"Okay… I couldn't have told you that."

Armed with this information, Ryuzaki went back to the kitchen, opening the cabinet full of tea. He pulled down half a dozen boxes and bags, and took out certain amounts of each, ripping open those in tea bags. He swept them into little piles, and then separated each pile into the individual types of herbs. He set the kettle boiling, and then started to mix certain herbs. _Green for the base… Rooibose… lots of that… some jasmine for flavor… nettle for sore throat… liquorish, too… _

He piled the mixture, separating it into servings. He placed one in a mug (decorated with kittens), and waited for the water to boil. Victoria, who apparently decided that he needed to be kept company, jumped onto the counter, sniffing at the herbs experimentally. A moment later, however, she was scooped up, tucked by a certain ex-detective's side, the way she liked to be held.

When the water boiled and poured over the mixture, it produced a deep pink brew. He then made his way into the living room, forced to navigate the table like a human, carrying a cup of tea and a somewhat disgruntled cat.

"Here, sit up," he told Jane. "And drink this."

Jane sat up slowly, blinking sleepily. "What is it?"

"Tea."

"It doesn't smell like any of my tea…"

"I mixed it," Ryuzaki explained. "The few times I do get sick, I need to be able to treat myself."

"That's cool." She smiled, and sipped the tea. "Wow! This tastes great!"

"I'm glad." Ryuzaki settled beside her with Victoria on his lap.

Jane soon fell asleep, but Ryuzaki stayed awake, watching over her with more attentiveness than he had ever watched a monitor.

**(A/N) I hope you all liked this chapter. I can guarantee a quick update next time, because I already have half of it done. If you want a hint, review! Please? **


	9. Part One Chapter Nine

**(A/N) This is sooo late… oh well, I hope you like it! **

**More fluffiness! But… more serious stuff is coming up. Up till now, I've been working solely on developing background and establishing Jane's character. The actual plot is coming very soon, the next chapter, even. **

**A thousand thanks to my reviewers: sharebearthedeathbear, KissMeQuack, 'TMA,' and orangeeclipse! **

**I do not own Death Note. Right now, I'm too swamped with library fine to even buy a DN book -_-' **

When Jane awoke the next morning, she felt one hundred percent better. She became aware of a gaze on her, so intense that it could only belong to one person.

"'Morning, Ryuzaki." She yawned hugely.

"Good morning, Jane." Ryuzaki moved over, coming slightly closer to her. "Are you feeling better?"

"I feel great, that tea works wonders."

"I'm glad."

Jane stretched and got up. Victoria came off Ryuzaki's lap to greet her. Rubbing the cat's head absently, her eyes found the stack of cookbooks on the table. She also noticed the fact that there wasn't a cupcake on the carousel that had been full the night before.

That's when inspiration struck.

"Hey, Ryuzaki," Jane called. The dark-haired man twisted his neck into a most unnatural position. "I need to run some errands. Want to come over tonight for diner?"

Jane smiled when Ryuzaki nodded enthusiastically; he reminded her of a puppy sometimes, ears pricked and tail wagging. It was just too easy to imagine. "Alright, then. I'll get dressed and head out. See you tonight!"

Jane entered the bookstore, looking around. A too-cheery employee came up.

"Can I help you with anything, young lady?"

"Yes, actually!" Jane smiled charmingly. "Where would your cookbooks be? More specifically, cookbooks on sugar?"

Later on that night, Ryuzaki knocked at Jane's door. But the knock was only out of courtesy. A moment later, he simply let himself in.

The first thing he noticed was the odd smell. It wasn't unpleasant; on the contrary, he found his mouth watering. But it was a foreign scent, completely alien to him.

"Hi!" Jane's cheery face appeared from the kitchen. Her hair was more rumpled than usual, and her cheeks were slightly flushed. "Come on in, sit on down!"

Ryuzaki took a seat at the oddly-placed table, tucking his legs up to his chest.

He sniffed curiously. "What's that smell?"

Jane grinned. "Does it smell good?"

Ryuzaki nodded, cocking his head. "But I don't recognize it."

"Its turkey," Jane clarified, "with a few modifications."

"… Turkey?"

"Yes, turkey, what's so shocking about that?"

"You know that _I'm_ staying for diner, right?"

"I invited you."

"I hate meat."

"Why?"

"Don't like the taste. Never will."

Jane's smile widened. "Heh, this dish you will."

"I guarantee, I won't."

"And I guarantee, you will!"

Jane emerged from the kitchen, accompanied by Victoria, carrying several covered plates. Ryuzaki couldn't help the prickle of curiosity that he felt.

The dish looked as interesting as it smelled; it did indeed appear to be shredded turkey, but it was covered in a sort of glaze that looked sticky and sweet. _Honey and…_

"Honey and brown sugar," Jane informed him. "And this…" She uncovered another plate. "These are cookies; chocolate chip cookies, but made with oatmeal. And for desert, strawberries covered with dark chocolate."

Ryuzaki eyed the meal with cautious curiosity. It all sounded good, but…

"I'm still not convinced."

"Just try it, you big baby," Jane chided, laughing.

Ryuzaki snagged a small bit of meat on the end of a fort, examining it, turning it this way and that, and stalling in general.

"The World's Greatest Detective," scoffed Jane playfully, "and he can't even bring himself to try something new."

Ryuzaki shot her a pained look, and then placed the bit on his tongue, drawing it into his mouth and then chewing thoughtfully. It was very sweet, but had the rich, meaty undertones of the turkey.

"It's good," he finally admitted, and she smiled widely.

"Told ya so!" she said happily.

"Yeah, well…" he grumbled, not liking the feeling of eating his words as he ate the turkey.

L was literally bouncing off the walls. He paced back and forth restlessly as he lapped at the lollipop in his hand. _This is Jane's fault,_ he thought angrily. _My body isn't used to anything substantial… _

Finally, at around seven in the morning, he got fed up with it. Grabbing the duffle bag from under the couch, he went over to Jane's condo.

Jane had fallen asleep on her couch that night, and was awoken by a knock at her door. Yawning and getting up groggily, she went to answer the door. When she opened it, she barely succeeded in stifling a laugh. Ryuzaki's hair was ruffled and his pale skin was flushed with energy.

"Wanna play tennis?" he asked, holding up the duffle bag.

Jane started. "You play?"

Ryuzaki nodded so quickly that his head blurred. "I haven't in a while, but…"

"Cool, let me go get dressed and grab my racket," Jane said, now fully awake. She hadn't played tennis since grade school; none of her friends were really interested in the sport. Looking forward to a good game, she rushed through her morning routine.

Ryuzaki bounced the tennis ball a few times experimentally, liking how it felt in his hand. The chilly, early winter air swirled around him, making him shiver slightly in his thin, long sleeve shirt.

Tossing up the ball, he delivered a hard serve across the net, catching Jane off guard.

"Whoa…" she murmured.

Ryuzaki allowed himself a tight smile. "15-love," he announced.

Serving a second ball with slightly less power, he watched as Jane darted to the side, catching the ball on her racket and sending it back over the net. Ryuzaki easily returned it, but found himself watching Jane, the way her body curved in the air, instead of what he should have been watching, the ball. He nearly lost his head for it, ducking just in time to have the ball ruffle his hair.

"15-15," Jane said smartly.

"Heh, pretty good," Ryuzaki admitted, smiling. "But can you return… this one?"

"Game point…" panted Ryuzaki, "duce-3… advantage… me…"

He served the ball, letting it sail easily over the net, and watching as Jane returned it with a flick of her racket. Mustering a last bit of energy, he bolted forward, caught the ball on the inside edge of his racket, and flipped it sharply over the net. He saw it travel over the net, hitting the turf, and then… sail just over Jane's racket.

Drawing a deep breath, the raven haired man let himself drop backwards, sprawling on the court while he caught his breath. Every cell in his body was resonating with life, every color in the world growing more vivid.

Jane looked down at him, her breath coming in gasps. She laughed lightly.

"Great game," she said, offering her hand. "That's the first time I've played for real in forever."

Ryuzaki took her hand, lifting himself off the ground. "Same here."

As they walked off the court, heading back to their apartments, neither one of them noticed that their hands were still entwined.

**(A/N) Alrighty! One more chapter done! Next one… well, it'll be a quicker update than this one, for sure. Have we got any hard-core Light-haters reading this? Yes? No? Cause, you know, even though he's dead right now… well, you'll see. ^^ Oh, and when I say 'Light,' I mean Light Yagami, not Kira. I hate Kira, but not necessarily Light… **

**Review if you want a hint! =^^=**


	10. Part One Chapter Ten

**(A/N) Finally! Okay, so this chapter is dedicated to Light-kun. As you probably gathered from the A/N at the end of the last chapter, this chap kind of focuses on him. but, you ask, how can it focus on him? he's dead! You shall see…**

**A quick note: I'm going to try my best to steer clear of religion in this fic. I am going to act on the assumption that there is an afterlife and some sort of mystic being out there that most people know as a god of some sort. Just a heads up, there. ^^**

**Another note: ***minor spoiler for L Change the World*** ***minor spoiler*** ***minor spoiler*** At the end of the book, it's revealed that L-kun has kept Light's broken watch along with a picture of Watari. That's the reference in the last part of the chap ^^ ***end of spoiler*** ***end of spoiler*****

**Thank you so much to my reviewers! XxMichyBabyxX, EvilPurpleCookiePenkeyMonguin, sharebearthedeathbear, , invisible-gurl, and CocoBunni96! *hands out cookies***

**Such a long A/N tonight… forgive me?**

**I do not own Death Note, nor will I ever. Maybe. I hope I will. But I probably won't.**

Light sat cross-legged, back straight, floating within the endless blackness. All alone, he was left to meditate on the life he had had. _And the Death I am now in,_ he added. He could hear Misa calling for him; sometimes he let her find him, sometimes not. _That's the one good thing about this place,_ he thought. _If I want to be alone, no one can find me._ He ruffled his wings, the blood-red color, signifying someone who had taken human life.

Light rocked back, turning in a slow, lazy loop. _So bored… maybe Misa would be a little company._But the company of the goofy blonde was not that which he craved. He craved a particular person's company. _I wonder what L is doing…?_With a wave of his hand, a small window appeared in the darkness. He leaned over, 'lying' on his stomach.

"Ryuzaki…" he murmured. He watched the raven-haired detective much more than was probably healthy. He laughed humorlessly. Why should he care if something was… _healthy_… now? He was dead.

He watched L playing tennis with Jane. He- unlike them –noticed the unconscious hand-holding. _I'm glad,_ he thought, _that he's found someone._

Keeping with the whole anti-gravity thing, the tears Light began to cry floated in tiny droplets around him. When Light had died, he had left Kira behind completely. Now, as he floated there, watching the Living, he was an innocent, scared young student, with a shameful memory of his own living days.

"I don't want to spend eternity here…" he whispered.

The White Wings came there occasionally. They were free to pass through any of the Realms, while the Black Wings could go back and forth between their own and the Red Wing's Realm, and the Red Wings, the lowest of the low, were stuck in their own Realm. No doubt L would be a White Wing. _I wonder if he'll ever come visit me…_

"Light!" Misa was getting closer. She had no desire to ever leave the Red Wing's Realm, even if she could. She wanted to be right close to Light, much to his dismay.

With a sight, Light decided that Misa's company was better than sitting there alone and watching Ryuzaki. He let the shield around himself crumble.

"Light!" Misa rushed forward, bowling him… well, not over, but the impact sent them both rolling head over heels.

"Hi…" Light grunted, "…Misa…" _How can it feel like I'm suffocating when I don't need air?_

"Oh Light," Misa looked up at him adoringly. "Why do you hide?" Her wings shuttered slightly.

"I just need to be alone sometimes," he explained.

"But I get lonely!"

"Don't you have any other friends up here? Or down here? Or whatever?" Light asked, exasperated.

Misa pouted. "But Misa loves her Light!"

"Then… could you do me a favor?" Light asked, thinking on his feet… so to speak.

"Anything!"

"Could you go and try to find Takada? I need to ask her something."

"That slut?" Misa asked, seeming outraged. "What could my Lighty-poo want with her?"

"I just want to give her a piece of my mind, in terms of how much better you are," Light said slyly.

Misa immediately perked up. "I'm on my way, Light!" She smiled, and, giving him one final, crushing squeeze, flew away.

Light breathed a sigh of relief. _Definitely not better than watching L,_he thought, wrapping himself once more in a cloak of solitude. He knew that Takada would never come, and that would keep Misa busy for a while. He stretched his huge red wings; even though he didn't technically have a body, he still felt ghost muscles stretch and joints pop. Keeping his wings spread, he let himself turn head over heels again and again. He knew that, had he had a stomach, he would want to throw up. But he didn't, so he kept spinning until even the eyes of that celestial body were almost blind with dizziness.

_Now I know how Ryuk felt. I'd do anything to relive this boredom._

He reopened the window into Ryuzaki's apartment. The detective, or ex-detective, was sitting in a big armchair across from the girl, Jane.

"But I have to go to work in three hours…" Ryuzaki was protesting. Light smiled slightly. He couldn't get over the fact that Ryuzaki was working in a doughnut shop.

"Three hours is plenty of time for a nap," Jane said. "You look exhausted."

"Nonse-e-e-e-en-" Ryuzaki's scoffing turned into a huge yawn.

"Sleep," Jane commanded. To Light's surprise, Ryuzaki was asleep within a minute.

The young girl smiled and vanished into the kitchen, returning a moment later carrying a bowl of sugar cubes and a blanket. Setting the bowl on the coffee table- presumably for when he woke –she tucked the blanket gingerly around him. Light felt something akin to the bodily feeling of having a lump in his throat.

The girl left, but Light continued to watch Ryuzaki sleep. Through the Kira case, he had hardly slept at all, let alone that peacefully. He always used to twitch and shift about, often waking his unwilling bed-partner.

Then the Winged's attention was drawn away from the sleeping figure and to the door; it opened slowly. At first he figured it was the girl again, but it turned out to be a man… a man carrying three things, each more menacing than the last: a knife, a bottle of gasoline, and a box of matches. Over his face was a black cloth, a baseball cap concealing his hair. If Light had had breath, it would have caught in his throat. He watched the man pour gas over the couch, around and on the table, and in a thick circle around Ryuzaki's chair.

_I have to warn him!_Light's mind kicked into overdrive, as it had during so many moments when he was Kira. _How? Howhowhow?_Only the White Wings could contact the Living. He was the farthest thing from it.

_Please…_"Please!" he wailed aloud. "Whoever's in control of this kind of thing, please! Just give me a few seconds! I have to warn him!"

Light continued to wail like a child, but, no matter how hard he cried, he received no answer.

… … …

L, completely oblivious to all this, was sleeping deeply and peacefully. His dreams weren't definitive, just happy bits and pieces of memories and fantasies.

_Jane… Watari… Near… and Mello… strawberries and cake… Jane's cooking…_

_"Ryuzaki…!" the achingly familiar voice was faint at first, hardly noticeable. But there was a sudden flash of red, and Ryuzaki reached out one hand, brushing against feathers._

_"Ryuzaki! Wake up! Wake up, Ryuzaki!"_

_"Light-kun…?"_

_"Now! You need to wake up now!" Near-golden eyes appeared an inch from Ryuzaki's dark ones._

_"Light-kun…! Why are you in my dreams?"_

_"Ryuzaki, please!" Light insisted. "I don't want you where I am! Not yet!"_

Ryuzaki's eyes flew open. He felt cold steel against his throat.

"What a shame," a man chuckled. "I was hoping to get this over with before you even woke up."

Blood roared in Ryuzaki's ears, and his heart pounded, but his mind stayed crystal clear. "Who are you?" he asked in a monotone.

"Just someone who wants L dead!"

L felt the blade press into his skin. A moment later, though, the man let out a grunt, staggering backwards. The raven-haired man was on his feet in an instant, but the intruder wasn't looking at him. He was staring ahead, knife out. He slashed through the air, and tips of five, blood-red feathers appeared, severed.

"_Light-kun_…" Ryuzaki murmured softly. He then spun his legs in a wide kick, one heel slamming into the man's head, followed a millisecond later by the other right between his shoulder blades.

"Uhg…" The man staggered, then spun and raced out the door.

Ryuzaki considered chasing after him, but realized he didn't need to, for a feather brushed his cheek and then a breeze swept out the door. He touched his face, feeling blood trickle down his neck.

"Light…" He bent down and picked up the feathers, noticing the gasoline. He examined one blood-red feather.

Walking briskly down the hall to his bedroom, he held the feathers tightly but gently until he reached and opened his dresser drawer. Shoveling out clothes, he uncovered a faded picture and a watch that had long since stopped ticking. He pulled out the later and opened it, revealing the compartment where a scrap of the Death Note had once been stored. He slipped the feathers tenderly inside; snapping it shut, he fastened it onto his thin wrist.

"Light-kun," he murmured. "I remember, my friend. My friend."

… … …

The black nothingness seemed even bleaker after Light's excursion to the World of the Living. He had chosen to be alone, again, though he could hear Misa's plaintive calls. He was watching Ryuzaki, and examining the shredded feathers on the tip of one wing. It seemed that his feathers became visible when severed from his body. He was glad; L had known.

Light found himself smiling as he curled into as tight a ball as he could manage, wrapping his wings totally around himself and entering the half-sleep of the Winged.

**(A/N) So what did you guys think? A little different from past chapters; hardly any Jane in this one, and less Ryuzaki than usual. Still, I like the chapter… I like Light as Light, instead of Kira.**

**Who was this mysterious man? well, we won't find out for quite a while, but if you can still find out something by reviewing! Hints as to the next chapter! =^^=**


	11. Part One Chapter Eleven

**(A/N) Hi there! Okay, so I didn't get a single review for the last chapter, and I'm worried. Did I do something horrible that made everybody hate this story? I hope this chapter fixes it.**

**I do not own Death Note.**

A man sat, in the dark, at this desk, a pencil in his left hand. The only light came from a computer screen, glowing in the blackness. It cast a bluish light on the pale page, covered with scribbled names. After each name, there was a date. These were all the same, 23 days in the future. The times, though, were each separated by one second each. There were over a hundred and twenty names, easily, the inmates of three prisons globally. All the prisoners, wiped out within one second of each other. This would send a message.

The man started to laugh, and the being in the corner echoed him.

"23 days till emersion."

… … …

Jane glanced at the clock; Ryuzaki would have to go to work in half an hour. Figuring she better make sure he was awake, she let herself into his apartment with barely a knock. When she entered, the first thing she noticed was the smell of gasoline, a close second being Ryuzaki, currently engaged in scrubbing the carpet.

"Ry… what happened?"

He turned, and was about to answer, but didn't get the chance. Jane caught sight of the slash on his throat and half-tackled him.

"Oh god, what happened? ! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ryuzaki answered, wrapping one arm awkwardly around her. His other hand went to the gash. _Does it really look that bad?_ He voiced his concern to Jane.

"It looks terrible!" she fretted. "You still haven't told me what happened!"

"Someone knows," he said solemnly. "Someone who wants L dead." He remembered the chilling words, and the icy blade against his throat, shuttering.

"Oh… god…" Jane's eyes grew wide and a tear ran down her face. "And they attacked you?"

"Yes."

"But… you fought them… didn't you…?"

What prompted Jane's question was a foggy look in Ryuzaki's usually clear eyes. It hadn't been that clear cut, she could tell.

"Kind of…" Then he looked a bit jumpy.

"What," she said, making her voice sound low and threatening, "_happened?_"

"An old friend showed up," he admitted.

_Why is he so loath to admit that?_ "Really? Does he live near here?"

Ryuzaki fidgeted. "No."

"So… why was he here?" Jane's curiosity prickled.

"I… don't rightly know."

"What was this friend's name?" Jane's annoyance started to show.

"… …" A long pause. "… Light."

"Unusual name," the girl conceded, "but that still doesn't tell me who he is or why he was here!"

"… … He… used to be… my… best friend." The raven-haired man avoided her eyes.

"Used to be? Go on," Jane commanded, her foot tapping. "Why did he show up?"

"He probably… might have… known- seen… that this was going to happen."

Jane's annoyance turned to confusion. "How would he know that?" A dark shadow invaded her thoughts. "Unless he was in on this!"

"No," L said quickly, "that's not it."

"Then what?"

"… … …" A deep breath. "… He's dead."

L winced as the truth left his mouth. His interrogator's jaw went slack. _She thinks I'm insane!_

"I'm not crazy!" he said quickly. "Look!" He popped open the watch, removing the largest of the feathers and holding it out to Jane. "Is there any feather on earth like this?"

Jane took the feather and examined it. A look of confusion crossed her face, and he hurriedly filled her in on what had happened, from his dream onward. Jane shook her head slowly.

"Well," she said, handing the feather back to him, "I've never been one to discount anything. You seem convinced… so am I."

Ryuzaki breathed a sigh of relief. She believed him. He snapped the broken watch shut. Jane peered at it.

"What's that?"

Ryuzaki glanced up. _How much should I tell her… about Light…?_ "Light's watch. He always wore it."

"Why haven't I seen it before?" Jane seemed determined to press him.

"When I left my life as L behind," Ryuzaki explained, striving to be as truthful as he could, "I thought that I had to leave Light behind, too. He was a huge part of my life as L. He was…" chickening out, he added two extra words at the last minute, "_killed by_Kira." He winced inwardly. _Well, that was true…_

"How sad." Jane hugged him, making his guilt worse.

"Oh no! I'm going to be late!" It was more of an excuse than anything, but it turned out to be true. He rubbed furiously at his neck, wiping away the dried blood. "Better?" he asked Jane.

"Hardly noticeable," she assured him.

"Thanks! I'll see you after work, right?"

"I'll be here!" Jane called as he rushed out the door. Yet she remained there, watching him long after he had vanished, a nagging worry in her heart.

… … …

About an hour into his shift, Ryuzaki was beginning to relax. The scents and sounds of the shop were soothing, and the babble of conversation made a nice backdrop. One or two of the regular customers noticed the cut. He told them that it had been a simple mistake involving a little renovation he had been doing around his apartment. It was an innocent enough excuse, and, of course, everyone knew him only as Ryuzaki, the pleasant, if dark young man who gave then their doughnuts, and didn't need a calculator to come up with their totals.

It was a surprise when Jane entered the store. As it was a lull in business, Ryuzaki waved her over. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No," she replied softly, "but I'm awfully worried about you."

Ryuzaki sighed. "There's no need to be."

"I know. But I just can't help it." She looked like she was close to tears.

"I'm okay, really," Ryuzaki assured her, laying one hand a bit awkwardly on her shoulder. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"I know." But Jane's concerned expression didn't lesson.

Ryuzaki sighed. "I'll be back home in less than an hour. I'll come over to your place first thing, okay?"

"Okay…" Jane still looked unsure, but, taking the hand he had put on her shoulder and squeezing it, started to walk away. Ryuzaki turned back to his work, but stopped when he saw Jane come to a sudden halt. He watched her, out of the corner of his eye, as she slipped into his manager's office. _What is she doing…?_

"Excuse me?"

Ryuzaki jumped. A slight woman stood in front of the counter. She had absurdly long, obscenely blond hair, like spun gold. She was unbelievably thin, but came in every three days to order half a dozen doughnuts.

"Hello, Misaki-san. Sorry about that." Ryuzaki turned quickly to get her box ready.

"That's okay," her voice was small and sweet, but clear and assured. "Your girlfriend is talking to your boss? That can't be good."

"You think?" he asked absently, but it occurred to him a moment later. "She's not my girlfriend, though. We are good friends, and she is a girl… but not like that." He didn't doubt his words in the slightest.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed it."

The statement caught Ryuzaki by surprise. _Do Jane and I… look like boyfriend and girlfriend…?_

"Well," he said, closing the lid, "wish my luck with the whole 'boss' thing."

"Sure," Misaki winked at him, "Cutie!" Then she walked away, her hips swinging.

Ryuzaki stared after her, confused. _What in hell just happened?_

His attention was drawn by the door to his manager's office opening. Jane stepped out, smiling and nodding. Ryuzaki looked down, but kept her in the corner of his vision. He saw the two of them shake hands, and then Jane left. Not five minutes could have gone by before Ryuzaki was called into his boss's office.

Tucking his legs up to his chest, Ryuzaki perched nervously across the table from the heavy-set man.

"Hello, Ray-sama. You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki," Ray's voice reminded Ryuzaki of a tiger's purr. "Say, I don't mean to pry, but how did you get that cut?"

As Ryuzaki recounted the tale about the renovations, his mind was whirling. _What did Jane tell him?_ he had a sinking feeling that he knew.

"Yes, yes, an interesting story." Ray nodded. "But that's all it is: a story. You haven't told me the truth once since we met. Now, why don't you tell me the whole tale… L."

**(A/N) Dun… dun… dun! Epic drama! Now, please review if you liked, and I'll tell you what Jane****really****talked to Ray about! =^^=**


	12. Part One Chapter Twelve

**(A/N) Hi again!**

**This chapter is a bit emotion-ridden… more angsty than the story has been up to this point. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**On a quick note, I'd like to ask you to notice when I use the name 'Ryuzaki' vs. the title 'L.' I played around with that a little in this chap. Does it add something, or just confuse you?**

**Thank you so much to my lovely reviewers, CocoBunni96, sharebearthedeathbear, and Aoi Nami-chan!**

**Woot! We've hit 2000 hits! Thank you!**

**I do not own Death Note or L, only Jane. And sooo much math homework…**

L went ridged, but kept his face perfectly calm. Actually, he forced himself to smile.

"You really think… oh, god…" He forced a completely natural-sounding laugh. "You think those two cooks were right? You think I'm _L_?"

"Drop the act." Ray's voice was cold.

L saw no point in continuing the charade. He let the smile fade into a self-assured smirk.

"No one will believe you," he said softly.

"I don't need anyone to believe me," Ray replied, equally softly.

"Because you don't intend to betray me," L said in a voice that portrayed smug boredom. "You intend to use me. And not directly, either. By revealing that you know my identity, you intend to make me nervous, put me on edge. You figure that, if you act now, in an unorthodox way, I won't notice as quickly, and you would be able to manipulate me without my knowledge. Perhaps for personal monetary gain."

Ray's face went blank for a moment, and L hardly kept a haughty grin off his face. _I haven't lost it._

"Well." The man seemed to give himself a mental shake. "You certainly downplay your intelligence while you work here."

"I must." L strove to maintain control of the conversation. "If L's identity were to be discovered, it would be disastrous." He made his eyes flash, and saw the other jump. "But only for me personally. It wouldn't affect anyone else in the slightest. Except you." _Keep talking, keep talking… don't let him collect his thoughts… make him work to keep up… shake his courage; his confidence; his conviction… "_My personal sector and the police would not take kindly to someone disrupted _the_L in the middle of an undercover investigation."

He saw a flash of fear in his employer's eyes. _He realizes he's gotten himself in too deep._

"That's right," the detective continued smoothly. "I'm in the process of perusing a dangerous group of criminals. Others have already tried. You'll recall the two brothers who quite working here?"

"Just before… you showed up…" Ray murmured, as though something had just dawned on him; something that L had planted in his head.

"Yes… they were my predecessors. Well, on this case, at least." _Perfect… keep it going…_"Even the famous N and M are working with me on this case." L saw his mistake a millisecond too late.

"Mello and Near!" Ray cried, seizing the weak point in L's story. "They were here! Those two… they were Near and Mello!"

"Nonsense," scoffed L, keeping his face neutral. "Mello and Near live in the next city over."

"I don't believe it!" Ray declared. L debated whether or not to abandon the lie. If he did, though, it would weaken his credibility and bolster Ray.

"Well you must believe it. Mello and Near… well," he saw his way out, "even I don't know what they look like. To tell the truth…" he nibbled one thumbnail thoughtfully, "it would almost make sense for them to be those two. The only thing that doesn't add up is the fact that they tried to call me out. We are, after all, working together, and my anonymity is essential. Why would they reveal me?"

"Because you're deviating from the case!" Ray declared. "I have you all figured out, L, and you have- unwittingly –just confirmed my suspicions! You no longer want to be L!"

L, though years and long years of practice, only barely managed to keep his face neutral. _Ray isn't this smart… who's after me…?_His mind flashed to the incident earlier, and he had a sinking feeling that Ray had known about it even before Jane had revealed it. _if she revealed it,_ a small part of his mind corrected him. _No,_ argued a much larger part of his brain. _She had to have revealed it._

"You are getting more and more involved with this job, and less and less with your investigation! Less involved with Near and Mello, and more involved with Jane!" Ray continued triumphantly.

The thought of Jane brought a wave of angst into Ryuzaki's heart. He decided that it was time to call Ray's bluff, before his emotions broke free.

"Very well, believe what you want." He shrugged and got up. "But when the police show up on your doorstep," he held Ray's gaze, "well, interfering with a police investigation is a felony in five states. This is not one of them but, as L, I could very easily find an excuse to move your trial."

Ray's eyes blazed with fury, all but hiding a wavering uncertainty. Ryuzaki turned and grasped the doorknob.

"Wait!"

L found a small smirk threatening to break through. _I had forgotten how good this feels._ He turned, feeling decidedly like a cat who had cornered a particularly tricky mouse.

"What?" he asked, his voice shockingly innocent, considering what he was feeling.

"Let's just… talk this out." Ray smiled.

_You are a coward,_Ryuzaki wanted to say._A craven fool. Nothing but a paper tiger!_But he didn't. L stopped himself.

"I really don't see what there is to discuss." He leaned against the wall, attaching the small bug he had pulled from his pocket to the wall. "You seem to have made your choice."

"Really now… let's not be hasty…" Ray was trying to back down without losing his dignity.

"A week then?" L suggested innocently. A week would give him plenty of time to listen in on any incriminating conversations, but not enough time for Ray to get confident.

Ray's eyes widened. "W-well… alright…!"

L turned his head before his smile broke free. _Advantage… me!_

On the way home, Ryuzaki was free to think about Jane. _Oh, Jane… that traitor! That traitor that traitor that traitor! She must have told him! She wanted to protect me, so she thought she would enlist his help!_The one part of his brain that argued against this line of thought seemed to have disappeared.

He stormed into the apartment building. Jane was pacing the hall between their two apartments, blissfully oblivious to the hell that was about to break loose. When she saw him, she spread her hands and called out.

"Oh, thank god you're-"

"You!" Ryuzaki yelled, surprised by the full on fury he had worked himself into.

"Huhz…?"

"What did you do? you told my _boss_? Who I am?"

Jane's eyes flew wide with horror. "Oh, Ry, I would never-"

"How could you do this?" he raved, then lowered his voice, sounding ravaged and tortured. "How could you do this _to me?_" _I trusted her…_"I trusted you!"

"Oh, god…" Jane began to tremble, her eyes filling with tears.

"Ryuzaki, on the other hand, was trembling with sheer _rage._ And entirely new feeling, he was taken aback by it, but didn't pause to dwell on the novelty of it.

"God damn it Jane! No, god damn you! How the hell could you do this… knowing full well what it could do to me? It could destroy my whole life!"

"Ry-"

"No!" he snapped, coming unnervingly close to hitting her. "No more!" Then he whipped around, going into his apartment and slamming the door hard enough to make the walls tremble. His breathing labored, he jammed a chair under the doorknob so that, key or no key, Jane would be unable to enter. He stormed into the kitchen and snatched a huge lollypop from the jar. He jammed it into his mouth; it tasted strangely bitter.

Flopping down onto his couch, he stewed silently, unable to quite deal with these violent, new feelings. Hidden underneath the rage, though, was something much more painful. It was like a ragged, open wound was pulsing where his heart should be. Huge tears started to roll down his face as the anger drained from him, and he took the candy from his mouth, for it offered no comfort. In fact, it left a foul taste in his mouth.

_Oh Jane…_he thought brokenly, letting his head loll back. _Why…? Why…? I am such a fool…_

Ryuzaki was woken from a sleep he hadn't know he had entered by pounding and shouting. It took him a moment to make out the words.

"Ry! Ryuzakiiii! Open this door! Open up! Please, Ryuzaki, let me in! Come on, open up! We need to talk!"

Ryuzaki felt the place where his heart should be throb. He found himself unable to efficiently suppress the violent sensations of rage and pain. He got up and went slowly, deliberately to the door.

"No! Go away, Jane!" he yelled, pounding once, hard on the door. "Go away and stay away!"

Outside Ryuzaki's door, Jane felt tears spill from her eyes. "Please, Ryuzaki," she called, "let me in! come on, open up! We need to talk!"

Her plea had two meanings; the first was quite literal. The other was emotional. Ryuzaki, the man once known as L, had just begun to open up to her. And now the door was closed in her face.

_That idiot! Thinking that I would do that!_She hadn't, unbeknownst to Ryuzaki. All Jane had spoken to Ray about was a coupon that she had. It had expired two days ago, and she had wanted to know if she could still use it.

"No!" There was a loud enough bang on the other side of the door to make Jane jump back. "Go away, Jane! Go away and stay away!"

Jane stumbled back, startled by his ferocity. She had never seen Ryuzaki angry. But this wasn't anger; this was something much greater. _Well!_She forced her head high, though tears still cascaded down her face. _I've decided!_Jane had been toying with a proposition her brother had given her. Ryuzaki was the only thing that had kept her here, but it was obvious that he didn't want her. _He doesn't want me…_

Jane stalked proudly back into her apartment, slamming the door and snatching up her phone.

"'sup?" her brother's laid back voice answered.

"Call the moving van," Jane replied in clipped tones.

"You've changed your mind?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes." Jane glanced around her apartment, unable to avoid picturing Ryuzaki on his favorite perches. "I'll be ready to leave by morning."

**(A/N) Ouch. And the drama continues. Jane's a bit impulsive, isn't she? Then again, so is Ry right now… but trust is a big issue, especially with someone like L.**

**Anywhos… what did you all think? Please send me a review, and I'll give you a hint for the next chappy!**


	13. Part One Chapter Thirteen

_(A/N) Sweet merciful cake… it is three thirty in the bloody morning… and yet I felt the need to get this done. _

_We see more of Misaki in this chapter; does she remind you of anyone? I think everyone plays a role in this chapter… enjoy! _

_Thanks to my reviewers, invisible-gurl, CocoBunni96 and urpleprose! You are much appreciated! _

_I do not own Death Note, only my OCs. _

At 7:30 in the morning, Ryuzaki was still sitting on his couch, rocking back and forth. The winter sun was only just rising. The air in his apartment was frigid; he hadn't bothered to get up to turn the heat on. Though he was rocking, his whole body was as ridged as though he had been carved out of ice. He felt like an ice sculpture, too, frozen to his core in more than one way. If he fell, he felt that he would shatter into a million pieces. The only comfort he found was in Light's watch, which he clutched until his knuckles were white with the strain. _ I can't believe… she did this…_ All his anger had drained, leaving him shell-shocked and numb. His usually crystal clear thoughts were muddy, blurring and mixing with one another. Still, a small part of his mind looked at the situation objectively: _did I ever think that the loss of someone's- anyone's –friendship would do this to me? _

The soft knock at the door broke his trance. He got up slowly, unbending stiffly, almost afraid that any sudden movement might cause his body to simply snap. It was physically impossible, he knew, but he might not have been surprised.

Peering out the hole in the side of the door, Ryuzaki wondered if it was Jane. He had no desire to see here. Well, he did, but… _Stop it!_ he snapped at himself.

He waited for a few moments, and saw no movement. He moved the chair away from the door, and slowly opened it a crack. Glancing around furtively, he saw no one. Then, he looked down.

Sitting on the doorstep was a cake, with a note attached.

Ryuzaki felt tears renew their trails down his face. Curiosity prickled at him; what could the note say? Was it an apology… or a rejection?

_Why am I so nervous?_ He asked himself scathingly. _What does it even matter?_ He slammed the door. Three and a half minutes later, he opened the door again and snatched up the cake and letter.

Both items sat, untouched, on this kitchen table, as he paced back and forth across his floor. _Back and forth… not curious at all… no sir-ee… _his feet locked into a pattern, rhythmic and steady. _Not at all… not… at… all… but it might be something important… _His eyes strayed to the note. _Oh, what do I care? _He began to pace again. But his eyes found the note again, and his was soon holding the paper between trembling hands.

_Ryuzaki~ _

_My brother came into town a little while ago. He owns three houses here, and offered to let me stay in one for half of what I pay here. I was planning on turning him down… but not anymore. Goodbye, Ryuzaki. _

_~Jane _

The paper was soon wet with tears.

_Snap out of it! _he chastised himself sharply. _I will not cry! I will _not_ cry! I _won't _let this get to me! _

Ryuzaki crumpled up the paper and threw it at the wall. _ I need to get out of here… _he grabbed his scuffed wallet off the table by the door, but he didn't use the front door, for fear of running into Jane. Instead, he crammed his wallet into his pocket and clambered down the latter hanging from his balcony. Leaping to the ground, he sprinted away.

Ryuzaki's destination was a strange thing for him: the local mall. He had only been there once; there were far too many people and far too much going on for his liking, but that was exactly what he wanted right now. Though it made him edgy, it kept his mind busy. He focused in on snatches of conversation, and all the sights and scents around him forced his mind to split a thousand different ways.

One particular scent that caught his attention was an ice cream shop. He walked toward it and bought a strawberry ice cream cone, purely out of instinct. He licked at it, but didn't really taste it. It turned to ashes on his tongue. Giving up about halfway through it, he dumped it in the nearest garbage can.

"Ryuzaki!"

He turned to see Misaki, her golden hair bouncing as she trotted up to him. Ryuzaki cursed softly under his breath.

"Hi!" Misaki threw herself at him. Ryuzaki stiffened, his nerves already in ribbons. He leaped backwards, half-dragging her with him. she- without releasing him –looked up at him with huge blue eyes, batting long lashes.

"Misaki… Misaki… off… off!" his soft pleading turned into a sharp rebuke.

Misaki did not obey. Ryuzaki kept skipping backwards, but Misaki had her arms firmly around his shoulders.

"Why?" she asked sweetly.

"I… don't like… human contact…!" Ryuzaki's whining protest became more desperate.

"Then we'll just have to fix that!" Misaki reached up and gave him a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Yah!" Ryuzaki leaped backward, barreling straight into a garbage can, stumbling, falling, and then sprawling in the most awkward fashion, with Misaki landing on top of him.

They both were still for a moment, panting.

"Get. _Off,"_ growled Ryuzaki softly.

Misaki had the sense so obey. Ryuzaki scrambled up, ignoring her offered hand, and scuttled away as fast as he could without drawing _more_ attention. He was well aware that Misaki was following him. she was hard to miss.

"Wait up!" she called, her annoyingly cheerful voice grating at him.

"No!" he snapped, going faster.

Misaki seemed to give up, and Ryuzaki sighed in relief. He settled in the food court, ordering himself a fruit tray and a cup of coffee. Emptying all of the table's little packets of sugar into his coffee (as well as some from the next table over), he sipped it, but, just like the candy the night before, it tasted bitter. He picked at the fruit, eating the strawberries and melon out of habit. His mind was on a completely different wavelength, burying itself in a complete stranger's description of their vacation, striving to forget where he was completely.

"Hi there!"

Misaki popped out of nowhere, her face appearing an inch from Ryuzaki's. His eyes went crossed for a moment, then he jumped back out of reflex, causing the chair he was perched on to topple backwards with a loud clatter. He barely avoided falling on his backside.

"Stop doing that!" _Now I know how Light-kun felt, dealing with Misa-san…_

"Why?" she pouted, coming up beside him.

"I want to be alone." There was a hard edge to his voice that surprised even him.

"Oh, nonsense! It's no fun to be alone!" Misaki tossed her golden hair and plucked a strawberry from his trey.

"Put it down, and back away," Ryuzaki said softly.

Setting her lips in a pout, Misaki set the fruit down. She drew a Twinkie from her pocket.

"Want?" She offered it to him.

"No." Ryuzaki really didn't want it. This woman's presence was twisting his belly into knots… or was that just the absence of another woman?

"Whatever." She unwrapped the treat and stuck it in her mouth, her tongue coming out slightly. She ran her tongue along the cream-filled cake.

"I'm leaving," Ryuzaki said flatly. _Do girls really think…? Uhg. Jane would never do something so… _With a sharp shake of his head, he stopped that train of through. _I can't think about her!_

"A week? You didn't… Arg, you good for nothing fool!" the mysterious man roared into the phone.

"I-I'm s-sorry… sir…" stammered Ray. "I-I d-don't know what to s-say…"

With a snarl, the mysterious man slammed down the phone in frustration.

"You seem… agitated…" came a voice from the corner.

"Shut up, Shinigami!" the man snapped, and then dialed another number.

"Hello?" a girl's voice answered.

Ryuzaki dashed back into his apartment, slamming the door shut as Misaki caught up to him.

"Ruey-chaaan!" she called, banging on the door. A moment later, though, the annoying ring of a cell phone split the air, and she turned away to answer her cell phone. "Hello?"

Ryuzaki took a deep breath, making sure that the door was secure before going inside. Everywhere there were reminders of Jane; the crumpled note, the untouched cake, the chess set, the tennis bag… all around him, surrounding him with loneliness. Shuffling into his bedroom, he got onto his bed and wrapped himself securely in the blanket. As his eyes adjusted to the warm darkness, he looked at the broken watch on his wrist.

"Light-kun… I haven't felt this bad since you died." The pain was twofold for poor Ryuzaki; the pain of betrayal, and the pain of abandonment.

Light gazed down at the world of the Living in despair. _Ryuzaki… _he silently bemoaned his friend's blindness. All this over a coupon! He buried his head in his hands, trembling slightly. His huge red wings shuttered. _If this ends badly… _he thought,_ Ryuzaki will come out of it more closed off and lonely than ever before. He'll end up like me. _Worst of all was the feeling that he could do nothing about it.

Jane was unpacking yet another box. She pulled her cookbooks out, and felt tears spill from her eyes. Placing the cupcake carousel that Ryuzaki had always liked so much on the table that he had always opted to go under rather than around, she felt such a strong nostalgia hit her that, for a moment, she truly believed that he was stilling behind her on her soft red couch. The house was much too big, with two stories and three bedrooms. The size of it just emphasized the empty feeling, both inside her and around her.

The phone rang, jolting her from her thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Hey there!" Her brother's warm voice greeted her. "How are you liking the new place?"

"It's… great?"

"Now Jane, I know you better than that!" her brother chastised playfully.

"It's… big," she finally admitted.

"Tell you what," the kind boy said. "Tomorrow, we'll go shopping, just you and me. We'll buy some new stuff for you."

"Thanks…" Jane smiled sadly, "but no thanks. It'll just be stranger if there's strange stuff in here."

"Well, okay. Then how about just going for ice cream?"

Jane burst into tears.

"What's wrong?" her brother asked, instantly concerned.

"Ryuzaki likes ice cream!" Jane bawled, and then hung up the phone.

_Get a hold of yourself!_ she chastised herself. _Are you going to start sobbing every time someone mentions ice cream? _

Jane crawled onto her couch, curling into a tight ball and dragging the covers over her. Victoria hopped up beside her, butting her little head into Jane's face.

"Mrrow?" the little cat asked softly.

"He's not here," Jane told her, stroking her soft white fur.

But when she closed her eyes, all she could see were Ryuzaki's dark eyes staring into her very soul.

_(A/N) So… what did you guys think? Once again, hints in return for reviews! I'd be interested to hear your predictions, too… _

_One more thing! I'll be coming out with a story in horror of Halloween, involving the Wammy's reuniting years after their deaths! How? Well, Beyond Birthday can do certain things, now that he's a Shinigami. But there's one other Shinigami who hasn't given up on ruling this world like a god… please check it out! =^^= _


	14. Part One Chapter Fourteen

**(A/N) Yo… **

**Long wait. Sorry about that. Between my grandma dying, school starting again, robotics season starting, and my computer getting a killer virus… I had no time. **

**The good news is that I'm in the process of editing all my fics. You'll see a new Naruto story up soon, along with a bunch of various one shots… and from now on… **

**I'll be updating consistently every week. Without fail! **

… **okay, probably with some fail… **

**But each week I'll add a new chapter on either Friday or Saturday! **

**By the way, Misaki's name… it starts with Misa. I swear to cake I never noticed that. In the original version of the story, her name was Mary, but I switched it to something Japanese… and something that also started with an "M"… yeah. That actually wasn't on purpose. **

**On another note, I'm seeking a beta for this story! Just someone to skim though the new chapters and catch mistakes… if you're willing to do this, please tell me! I'd be forever grateful! **

**On with the story! I have to thank F8WUZL8, invisible-gurl, CocoBunni96, FedoraLover23, urpleprose, Onner, Deathcomessoon, and DaughterofEternity97! So many reviews…! Thank you all!**

**If I owned Death Note… L would not have died. End of story. **

"Rue-y-chan!"

Ryuzaki groaned, lowering his head as he scrubbed the counter. Misaki came bouncing up, leaning over the counter. Ryuzaki, out of reflex, leaned back as she tried to kiss his nose, as she had taken to doing whenever the opportunity arose. He found himself scowling.

"What now?"

"Well…" Misaki clasped her hands and swayed; Ryuzaki's frown deepened. "Your shift is almost over, and I thought we could do something together!"

_Light help me,_ Ryuzaki thought. He had taken to doing such things, as there was an 87% chance that Light could actually hear him.

"But it's the middle of the night," Ryuzaki objected.

"Exactly!" Misaki said triumphantly.

Ryuzaki reflexively glanced at the watch he wore, before remembering that it no longer ticked. _It's like a heart that's stopped beating…_ He twisted his neck to look at the clock: 10:38. He would be closing the shop in two minutes.

"Eww!"

Ryuzaki twisted his neck back. Unfortunately for Misaki, he didn't twist it the correct way, instead bending it backwards until he could see her. This, of course, increased the pitch of Misaki's squeal.

"Don't _do _that!" she squeaked, eyes closed, shaking her head. Ryuzaki obligingly righted himself, turning his head so that it once again faced the right way.

"What?" He made his voice innocent, enjoying his stalker's horrified look.

"That thing with your neck!" Misaki squeaked.

A bell chimed; closing time. Ryuzaki reluctantly left the safety of his spot behind the counter, dodging aside as Misaki tired to loop her arms around him. When they were outside, and Ryuzaki had locked the shop, Misaki grabbed his arm.

"Come on, I have something _fun _for us to do!"

"No!" Ryuzaki objected vehemently, trying to pry Misaki's fingers from his arm.

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

They were in the middle of the road, standing just in front of a psychedelic building- complete with flashing lights -that was pouring music out onto the streets. _A night club,_ Ryuzaki thought. _She brought me to a hell-born night club. _

"No!" Ryuzaki squirmed as Misaki pulled on him. "I'm not going in there! you can't make me!" There was something close to panic in his voice.

"Stop being such a baby!" Misaki grunted as she pulled him farther towards it.

"No!" Ryuzaki sat down abruptly, collapsing into his trademark ball.

"You'll like it, I promise!" Misaki leaned back, pulling on his arm with her full weight.

_You don't know me! _Ryuzaki thought furiously. He felt Misaki's grip on his arm lesson, as the slight girl paused to catch her breath, and flashed away. He scuttled, on all fours, across the street and swarmed up a tree as fast as he could.

Misaki came up to the tree, where he was perched on a high branch.

"Stop it!" she whined, stamping one foot. "If you're going to be my boyfriend, you need to stop crawling around like some deformed mutant rat!"

"Deformed mutant rat?" he objected, and then his mind caught onto another word. "_Boyfriend? _Who's your boyfriend? Certainly not me!" Ryuzaki grabbed the nearest pine cone (for he was in a pine tree) and fired it at her, hitting her smack in the forehead.

"Ow!" Misaki started hopping around, rubbing her forehead. Huge crocodile tears formed in her eyes, making her massive amount of mascara run. "That wasn't nice!"

Ryuzaki stuck out his tongue, in no mood to reply, as Misaki continued to blubber up at him. _merciful cake, why won't she leave me alone? I wish Jane were here… she'd know what to do…_

Jane's doorbell rang. She had a horrible feeling she knew who it was.

"Hello, Jeremy," she sighed, greeting the exchange student.

Jeremy was a young man, about five years younger than her, who lived two doors down. He was in a tux, with a huge bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.

"Hello, Jane-sama," he said, bowing low at the waist. Jane groaned. "Your beauty fills me with light, your eyes glitter like stars! Your skin is golden and flawless like that of a goddess, and-"

"Yeah, sure." Jane grabbed the flowers and chocolate. "I'm running out of vases, you know. This is the third one you've brought today. And it's not even noon."

"My love knows no time!" Jeremy declared, tossing his pristine dirty-blonde hair. "Please, won't you go out with me? Won't you even consider it?"

"Jeremy, my answer is the same as always," Jane said, her voice almost a hiss. "Your determination won't change a blasted thing. The answer is no!"

"I'll take that as a maybe," Jeremy replied optimistically.

Jane slammed the door promptly in his face.

_Dang… _Jane thought to herself. _So much candy… _She tossed the latest box on the pile by the door. _So much candy, and no one to give it to._ … _Ryuzaki… no Ryuzaki…_

Ryuzaki slammed his door shut, locking it and half-throwing himself against it.

Not a moment too soon, as a certain blonde half-ran into the other side, unable to break fast enough.

"Rue-y-chaaaaaan!"

Ryuzaki chose to ignore her, instead focusing on catching his breath. He bypassed the kitchen, shuffling straight into his bedroom. Crouching there, in the middle of his bed, he curled up into a ball under the covers. Relishing the dark silence, as he had in his days as a detective, he tried to focus on the pulse of the world around him, clearing his mind of every coherent word and picture.

But one picture wouldn't go away.

And that was Jane.

Peering around the corner, Ryuzaki's eyes flashed from side to side around the doughnut shop. He spotted Misaki, waiting at a table, sipping her water and nibbling at a doughnut. Despite the fact that he had to be here today, to meet with Ray, he didn't intend to see her.

Her head turned, and the ex-detective scuttled as quickly as he could, clinging to the wall, and vanishing into Ray's office, slamming the door behind him. Panting, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ah, my dear friend… L."

Glancing up at Ray, Ryuzaki composed his face. _No time for Misaki… no time for Jane. Focus… focus._ He took a moment to sort through the information gathered by the bug, arming himself with it. while no much had gone on in Ray's office, there had been a few intriguing tidbits the detective had picked up on.

"Ray, what is your opinion or Kira?"

Ray's eyes widened for a moment, caught off guard by the question. "Kira… well, I've only been transferred to Japan in the past few months…"

"But Kira was a worldwide incident. That should make no difference."

Ray shifted. "I… well, I personally thought that Kira was… an interesting character," he finally finished. "He intrigued me, as did his power."

Ryuzaki felt a smile tug at his lips, even though his eyes were dropping with exhaustion. "And did you admire him?"

"Well, yes," Ray said unabashedly. "I admired his power."

"But you know more about Kira then you should, as a civilian," Ryuzaki said smartly, shuffling his feet in an L-ish way. "For instance… how he kills."

Ray's face went white. "And how would I know something like that?"

Ryuzaki's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure I don't know. But the killer notebook's existence never went public… yet you seem to know all about it."

Ray stood, glaring at Ryuzaki with brazen annoyance. "I may… and I know other things, as well. I know that Kira was someone you considered a friend, and yet betrayed you. I know that he turned his back on you, just like _Jane _did. Must you, touted as the greatest mind in the world, make the same mistakes over and over again?"

L cracked. The tears appeared in his black eyes again as he thought of Light, and then of Jane… and every iota of control vanished.

"Do whatever you want with whatever information you have," he said suddenly, his voice icily bitter. Ray drew back as Ryuzaki glared at him though the tears. "Do what you want. Evil will go nowhere good… and you will get your proverbial reckoning. I have other things to worry about." Reaching into his pocket, he slammed his set of store keys down on Ray's desk. "Do _not_ expect to see me here again."

Turning his back on Ray, the ex-detective stalked out of the office, the picture of broken poise. Ignoring Misaki and the other confused customers, he strode out of the store, walking straight though traffic and across the street to the apartment complex. He didn't stop, however, at his condo. He continued on down the hallway, reaching deep into his pocket for a forgotten set of keys.

The tears never stopped; he doubted they ever would.

**(A/N) I'm not really happy with the ending of this… oh well, it'll have to do for now. The next chapter has to pick up at a certain place, and so… **

**Was this worth the wait? Which, again, I am so sorry about…! But now my fics will update weekly, so keep your eyes open for the next chapter! If you want a hint before then, review! I'll tell you something very special about the next chapter… Hehehe… **

**Remember, if you'd be willing to beta… you'd get to see the new chapters early! Please, somebody…! **


	15. Part One Chapter Fifteen

**(A/N) I'm sorry this took so long… I blame the super bowl and robotics. **

**Anywhos, I like this chapter… sort of. It really gets things moving along, so I suppose I do like it. ^^ I don't know if L-kun is OOC… I don't think so, but… **

**Thank you so much to invisible-gurl, DaughterofEternity97, Onner, Deathcomessoon, and CocoBunni96! *hands out L-shaped cookies* **

**I do not own Death Note, L, Light… or anyone else, aside from Jane. Misaki does not appear in this chapter. ^^ **

Ryuzaki passed by his own condo, stopping, instead, in front of another, and digging though his pockets for a nearly forgotten set of keys. He jammed then into the keyhole, right above the forlorn-looking lockbox. When he opened the door to Jane's abandoned apartment, he felt the yawning chasm in his heart open wider than ever.

The warn, soft red couch was gone.

The obtrusively placed table was gone, along with the cupcake rack that always sat on it.

All the cookbooks were gone, as were all of the bookcases.

The walls were bare, their cheery paintings and warm pictures gone, a few skeleton-like wires clinging to them.

Victoria did not come to greet him, and her bed was not in the corner.

There was no scent of anything cooking.

A sudden hunger gnawed at him, so intense that it became a physical need. At that moment, he wanted one thing so very much that it actually hurt.

He wanted Jane.

He wanted to sit with her on her comfy couch, him sipping his sugary coffee and she her tea; he wanted Victoria to be purring on his lap, while Jane cooed over what a cute picture it was; he wanted Jane, and her harebrained schemes to get him to eat healthier, the ones that always worked.

Ryuzaki dropped down, all those happy images compounding into one big hole in his heart. He sobbed into the deep, soft carpet; it was the only thing that remained, and it smelled familiar and sweet. He curled up, settling into it and crying himself into a shallow sleep.

"_Ryuzaki…" _

"_Light-kun…" Ryuzaki smiled lazily. "… I'm glad you're here…" _

"_Listen to me, Ryuzaki." Light shook his friend gently. "I don't have much time here." His blood red wings shuttered with urgency. He had no way of knowing how much time the Judges would allow him. _

"_Just stay for a while…" Ryuzaki murmured. _

"_I can't, Ryuzaki. Now listen to me. Listen to me, L!" _

_Ryuzaki's attention snapped into focus at the title. Light, satisfied that he had his friend's interest, spoke quickly. _

"_Ryuzaki, you need to go find Jane." Light saw L start, and continued. "She loves you, Ryuzaki. You're mistake. She didn't tell Ray. You need her. She needs you." _

_Light's head flicked up. He sensed two people drawing near to Ryuzaki's sleeping body. Omniscient as he was, he knew who they were and what they had to say. His hand reached out, and he brushed a strand of onyx hair from the ex-detective's face. _

"_I have to go," he said gently, already feeling his shape shimmer and dissolve. "Remember my words." _

"…L…? L?" Someone was calling to him. "Ryuzaki!"

Ryuzaki stirred and forced his eyes open Near's face was blurry, and far too close. Ryuzaki groaned. _Shoot… my head… _

"Ryuzaki, are you okay?" Near fretted, shaking the older man.

"Baka!" Mello's shoe appeared, catching the kneeling Near in the ribs. "Don't call him by a false name!"

"I's not a false name," Ryuzaki objected groggily, pushing himself up.

"You're awake," Near sighed in relief. Mello elbowed the smaller boy aside.

"You scared us L," he growled, a not-so malicious glint in his eyes that looked more like the shimmer of repressed tears.

"Don't call me that," Ryuzaki said mildly, dragging himself into a sitting position. "I prefer Ryuzaki."

The next thing Ryuzaki knew, Near was in his lap, bawling like a baby and clinging to the older man, just like he had when he was a small child at Wammys. L, out of sheer habit, drew him closer, holding him tightly. Mello snorted.

"I was afraid," Nate whispered. "I can't remember the last time I was afraid."

"It's okay," Ryuzaki said soothingly, crooning melodically, just like he had at Wammys House whenever Near or Mello had gotten upset.

"You need to find her," Near said softly, looking up at Ryuzaki, his pale eyes round like the child he pretended not to be. Mello let out a little sound of disbelief.

"We came here to get him back, not push him father into this insanity!" Mello's hand dropped to his gun instinctively, as it always did when he was stressed.

Nate ignored him, pressing forward. "You have to. You're falling apart at the seams. Please. Whatever the argument was about, it's not worth this."

Ryuzaki was shocked. He… needed Jane. There should never have been a question about that. Mello slammed his foot into Near's ribs abruptly, and the white-haired teen sprawled backwards as Mello drew back his foot to kick again.

"Stop!" Ryuzaki snapped, catching Mello's foot and dragging the mafia leader off his feet. Mello landed with a thud and a curse. "Nate wants my happiness; can you claim the same?"

Mello looked down, seeming ashamed. Near crawled back over to Ryuzaki, and they helped each other up.

"Come on," Nate said softly, "I'll help you pack."

"Can you look after my things here?" Ryuzaki asked.

"Of course." Near nodded, handing him the tote bag that contained two bags of sugar cubes, a chess set, a tennis racket, a laptop and a cell phone. "And you're sure you have the right address?"

"Do you doubt me?" L asked, smiling slightly; Near smiled back.

"Of course not. But why won't you take a car?"

Ryuzaki raised an eyebrow. "I don't drive."

"Can't someone else?"

"That would be awfully conspicuous."

"A taxi?"

"The world is my enemy. That includes taxi drivers," L explained patiently.

"A… bus…?"

"Really Near, really?"

"But it's 50 miles away!" Near objected. "Any you plan to walk?"

"Yes, I do," Ryuzaki declared, swinging the bag on over his shoulder.

He was about to leave when Nate threw his arms around his mentor's shoulders.

"Take care of yourself," he murmured, "please."

Ryuzaki stroked the teen's soft white hair. "I will. I will."

"Ahem."

Both men parted awkwardly, looking up to see the blonde standing in the doorway. He moved forward slowly, his eyes down.

"Well… good luck…" he said, "… Ryuzaki."

Ryuzaki hugged Mello momentarily but tightly, who responded uncomfortably but seemly earnestly.

"Thanks, Mello."

And with that the children at Wammy's house bade farewell to the greatest among them. L had been released into the void, and Ryuzaki had been accepted.

The full moon had reached its summit in the sky, coloring the world silver, when an exhausted Ryuzaki finally came to Jane's new home. He hadn't rested, simply walked the fifty miles that he needed to. Now, he stared up at the huge, dark house, and knew that he would get nowhere until morning. He trudged up to the door and knocked, simply for the sake of knocking, but received no response, as expected. He shivered slightly, the winter air nipping at his skin though the thin shirt and worn jeans, his feet half-frozen to the earth.

Ryuzaki sighed. Whatever he had to say would have to wait. So he laid his bag against the wall, crouching down just outside the door. He yawned hugely, reminded that he had walked for three days and nights without sleep. _Maybe I should just lie down for a moment… _He curled up on the hard, icy ground, pillowing his head on his hands. snow began to fall, an unearthly silver, in georgeous riffs. Ryuzaki found himself admiring the beauty of them as his eyes slowly drifted shut. Though the freezing air bit at him, and his body ached, he knew, in that moment, that there was nowhere he would rather be. He was lying at Jane's doorstep, watching this scene of unearthly beauty. And then, he felt it: a warmth despite the snow, blossoming in his heart. It was something more than the affection he felt for Near and Mello, or water… it was love.

As his eyes closed, tears flowed down his face in glittering trails. Whether they held sadness or unimaginable joy, even he didn't claim to know.

**(A/N) So did you guys like? I originally wrote out Ryuzaki's trip… but failed. I didn't like it, even though I rewrote it about three times. So… you have a time lapse. Sorry! **

**It's snowing… will he die? "A warmth despite the snow…" When I wrote that, freezing to death came to mind… hehe. Oops. **

**I'M STILL LOOKING FOR A BETA! IF YOU CAN OR KNOW OF ANYONE WHO CAN…! **

**Anywhos, please send a review if you want a hint as to what's coming up! See you soon! **


	16. Part One Chapter Sixteen

**(A/N) Epic chapter coming… prepare yourself. =3 **

**Thanks to… AnimeRANDOMNESS, CocoBunni96, invisible-gurl, Faith-san, and Deathcomessoon… for reviewing! **

**I do not own Ryuzaki… sadly. **

When Jane awoke, she found herself strangely cheerful, especially considering her recent lethargy. She stretched and got up, giving herself a thorough shake. When she pulled open the curtains, she gasped with delight. It had snowed the night before, and the whole world was covered with a glistening blanket. _No wonder I feel so happy! _

Slipping on her warm robe and fluffy slippers, she made her way down to the kitchen. Once there, she brewed herself a steaming cup of tea, sipping it appreciatively and thinking of the frozen air outside, giving silent thanks that she was inside.

_Oh… but I have to get the paper, _she lamented, reluctantly going to the door. She paused, though, with her hand on the doorknob. _Well… I'll feed Victoria first. _She knew she was only putting off the inevitable, taking those few icy steps out of her warm sanctuary, but she couldn't help it.

After she fed the small white cat, Jane couldn't think of anything else to delay her. So, with a sigh of resignation, she moved forward and opened the door. A blast of cold air rushed in, making her shiver and pull her robe tighter around her. But when she looked down for the newspaper, what she saw was anything but that.

She saw Ryuzaki.

He was curled in a tiny ball in the snow, looking exceedingly peaceful. A thin blanket of snow covered him, but this blanket provided no warmth. His skin was the palest blue, almost translucent in the early light. His body vibrated, ever so slightly, as he shivered. Jane dropped her teacup in shock; he didn't stir as it shattered on the ice covered ground. Jane dropped down clumsily beside him in the snow. She laid one hand on his shoulder; it felt as stiff and chilled as the ice.

"Ry… Ryuzaki…" Her voice was soft, as she still couldn't quite believe what was happening. He was so still, though… and so very cold. "Ryuzaki!" She managed to get her arm underneath him, dragging him half onto her lap and cradling his head. There were shimmering trails of frozen tears running down his face. He blinked open his huge, dark eyes.

"Oh… Jane…" A small, lazy smile formed on his face.

Jane felt her heart throb and wrench at how sweet he looked. She held him tightly for a moment, but it only took a couple of heartbeats for common sense to kick in.

"We need to get you inside," she said sharply, looping one arm around his waist. With little effort she heaved him up and onto his feet, though they both swayed unsteadily.

"My feet arm numb…" Ryuzaki observed, sounding mildly surprised.

"Little wonder!" Jane snapped, more concerned than ever. "Out in the snow, with no shoes!"

Ryuzaki slouched slightly, turning big, sad eyes up to her.

"You're still angry," he whispered, looking disheartened.

"No, no!" Jane said quickly. "I'm not angry at all!"

"You're a terrible lire," he mumbled, although he let himself be herded inside.

Jane sighed. "I'm really not angry anymore. Not after all this." She quickly deposited him on the soft red couch. Ryuzaki's legs automatically came up to his chest, while Victoria came up and rubbed her head against his jeans. Though the raven-haired man scratched the cat weakly, his eyes never left Jane. She returned a moment later with a steaming cup of coffee.

"Drink this," she commanded, handing him the cup. He took it, but did not obey, instead setting it quietly on the table.

"No. we need to talk first."

Jane noticed that his shivering was getting worse. Wordlessly, she took off her robe and wrapped it tightly around him. He buried his face in it.

"… smells like you…" he murmured, breathing deeply.

Jane felt her heart melt, as it did so often around the raven-haired boy. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close.

"I'm glad you're back."

… … …

Two days passed, and Ryuzaki got his strength back. He became orientated himself with his new house, too; Jane had insisted that he was to live with her from then on. While he had been ready to swallow his pride and beg for her forgiveness, she had saved in the indignity by accepting his first apology. But there was one thing that he hadn't addressed yet.

He was sitting on the couch when the moment came. As Jane came up and sat beside him, Ryuzaki felt that same, unfamiliar feeling that he had felt in the snow. It came upon him unexpectedly, almost knocking him off balance. Every one of Jane's movements fascinated him, far more than any study he could have done. Her words enthralled him, far more than any case he could solve. He felt at peace when he was with her; he felt warm.

"Jane?" he murmured, feeling her name on his lips; tasting it; relishing the feel of it.

"Yeah?" she responded thoughtlessly, turning to face him.

Ryuzaki felt his heart jump into his throat, as though it was both choking the words back and urging them on. He reached out hesitantly, touching her cheek lightly. She looked startled, but didn't draw back.

"Jane…" he said her name again, and then flinched back slightly. _The words… won't come… did I expect they would? Did I expect this would be easy? _

Jane raised her hand, cupping his as it cupped her face.

"What is it?" she asked, her brown eyes swirling with confusion.

Hesitantly, almost fearfully, Ryuzaki came forward and wrapped his arms gingerly around her. Feeling the heat between their bodies, he drew back slightly and, following some instinct that he didn't know he had, he touched his lips lightly to hers. After a surprised moment, Jane responded, pressing closer to him.

For the first time in his life, L could not hold a coherent train of thought.

That heated, perfect moment was the only thing in his world; the only thing on his mind. Jane was all that mattered.

They both drew back after a moment, and Ryuzaki saw his own strange and wonderful feelings reflected in Jane's glittering eyes.

"Jane…" he whispered, "I realized it; in the snow… I figured it out. I love you. That's why… that's why I can't be without you. I love you, Jane." A smile broke over his face; of course he was scared of what he had just said, but this feeling, being _in love,_ was worth the risk. Of course he was terrified, but he was also happier than he had ever been in his life.

Jane was overjoyed at Ryuzaki's admission. Her own feelings for the raven-haired young man had been growing, but she would never risk pushing him away. Now, as she was such childlike joy on his face mixing with a love she had never seen before, she felt her own heart warm and pound erratically. Still, she was hesitant. She drew him closer, wondering if he was nervous. She thought of the way that he nervously bit his nails, such a juvenile shyness engrained in his personality.

Ryuzaki answered her unspoken question with complete conviction; he met her lips, affirming her own certainty. After a few moments, though, Jane picked up on his tenacious and obligingly released him. He looked down, seeming embarrassed. Jane caught his chin and raised his head, laughing softly.

"I love you too, Ryuzaki." She hugged briefly, and then got up, easing the stress, both the good and awkward feelings.

Ryuzaki winced inwardly. _Oh cake, I'm bad at this. _But Jane looked happy, and he was glad of that. He felt like flying but he also felt nervous. He wasn't quite comfortable with such intimate things, at least not yet. As Jane walked toward the kitchen, he sat back, trying to process what had just happened.

Victoria hopped up beside him, and he scooped the cat up, placing her on his lap.

"Hmm? What do you think?" he asked, scratching her ears. "You _must _have more experience than I do, hmm?"

The cat offered no reply, instead rubbing her face against his. Ryuzaki smiled despite himself.

"Well… I'll figure it out as I go, right?"

… … …

As Jane watched Ryuzaki and the cat from the kitchen, she smiled softly to herself. _Don't worry, Ry… you're doing just fine. Be yourself… because that's who I love. _

**(A/N) Eep… how was that? *uncertainty…* I liked it. I really hope it wasn't too abrupt, but I just felt the time was right. ^^ And this **_**is **_**a romance fic, after all… **

**I talk to my cats all the time… ask them advise, everything. Gets a lot of weird looks when people are over… Hope that bit wasn't too weird. ^^ **

**As always, review for a hint as to what's to come! **


	17. Part One Chapter Seventeen

**(A/N) Yep! Next chapter's up! Yay! I like this chapter… it really gets the main plot moving, along with a bit of humor later on. =3 **

**Thank you so much to Deathcomessoon, CocoBunni96, Fai Lawliet, and invisible-gurl for reviewing the last chapter! **

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! **

**PS This was posted at 5:56 am after completing a school project due today! ^^ (Yay for school-induced insomnia!) **

"Yeah… uh huh… and guess what? Ryuzaki showed up!" Jane was bouncing slightly as she spoke to her brother. "Isn't that amazing?"

Ryuzaki crouched on her sofa, watching her intently. He wasn't too certain that he liked her telling her brother that he was there. He had never doubted his instinct before… but Jane seemed convinced that she could trust the man. Ryuzaki shrugged, convincing himself that everything was alright, and then turned back to his cake.

… … …

"…So…" hissed the mysterious man coldly, "You've let him slip away."

"I-I'm sorry, sir!" Ray stammered. "H-he just l-lost it!"

"Well…" the man's face suddenly broke out in a grin. "This might work out for the best. Today's the big day, anyway. And you know what they say: keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

… … …

Ryuzaki had slipped into a peaceful doze by the time Jane got off the phone with her brother. She smiled slightly as she walked over to sit beside him, brushing the dark hair from his eyes. In his sleep, Ryuzaki leaned into her, something he never would have done in his waking world. Jane's smile widened at his peacefully, youthful face. _Wow… the century's greatest detective… _

After a while, Jane decided to turn on the television. Ryuzaki was still asleep and she didn't particularly want to get up, as it would, after all, disturb him. She was watching a sitcom when the screen went white, the flashing kanji reading 'BREAKING NEWS.' A reporter came on, his voice loud and panicked.

"We interrupt your program," he was saying, "to bring you this breaking news!" Ryuzaki stirred, blinking huge, sleepy eyes. Jane felt unexplained dread well inside her.

A moment later, it was explained.

"Kira is back!"

L screamed. His hands flew up, and he toppled unceremoniously from his perch on the couch.

"The inmates from three prisons around the world, dead in a matter of minutes from heart attacks! Investigators around the world…" The reporter continued as Jane dropped down beside the trembling ex-detective. He was curled into a loose fetal position, his eyes wider than she had ever seen them.

"No…" he whispered, "this can't be… I won't believe… no… Light, your life was _lost_! _Isn't it over?_"

"Shh… shh…" Jane tried in vain to sooth him, running her fingers through his hair and crooning softly. _I know this must be hard for him… but I never imagined that there was this much trauma connected to the case! _

Slowly, Ryuzaki calmed down. He sat up gingerly, pulling himself into a sitting position. He grabbed his coffee cup off the table and drained it; the sugar quelled his shutters. Jane had learned by then that it was his way of dealing with stress, so she obligingly went over to the table, as he clambered back onto the couch, and fetched a bowl of sugared strawberries. When she brought it back, Ryuzaki looked up at her with big, scared eyes.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, it's just a horrible shock." Jane saw his hand go to the watch that he always wore and knew, by looking in his misty eyes, that Light had more to do with the Kira case than he was saying. But she decided not to push him, at least not at that time. For the time being, she decided, she needed to be there for him, not badger him with questions that would only cause him more pain.

… … …

Ryuzaki sat up in bed; he couldn't sleep. He _didn't want _to sleep, for he knew that with sleep would come nightmares. After a brief hesitation, he got up and scrambled out the window. Scaling a tree next to the house, he found a suitable perch on the roof. The air temperature was below freezing, and it felt as though it were burning his skin. Still he crouched, for the longest time, staring up at the cold, glittering stars. His thoughts ran in circles, going over the same material again and again.

_Kira… how can this be? Has another Shinigami entered the human world? Light… are you watching this…? Are you watching me? I wonder what you think of all this. And Jane… I love Jane… _He smiled for a moment, remembering kissing her.

"Well, Light?" he asked aloud. "I'll bet this whole thing is as much of a shock to you as to me. Jane as much as Kira. I never thought… something so wonderful and something so dreadful… all at once."

Eventually, when the moon was dipping low in the sky, Ryuzaki moved his long-numb limbs. He scrambled down, and back though the window, as quickly as he could without falling. But he didn't climb into his bed; he had no intention of closing his eyes, not even to blink. So he made his way to the kitchen to fetch a midnight snack. Grabbing a slice of double-chocolate strawberry cake that Jane had made, he shook his head slowly. _Heaven knows I would starve… _

His body went into overdrive as his blood sugar spiked; he was used to this, comfortable with it, so he went to search for his laptop. When he found it, he groaned aloud. It was sitting on the couch… with Jane partially on top of it. For a moment, he was frustrated. After that initial reaction, though, he began to notice the way her breath rose and fell, and the tiny changes in her face and expression. She looked so very soft, completely at peace, so very human. Ryuzaki had spent his life trying to deny, to obliterate his humanity. And yet…

The raven-haired man perched on the arm of the couch, just above where Jane slept. He did not blink, he did not breath. He sat, perfectly still, only his eyes flicking over her. So utterly enthralled was he that he leaned forward slightly, his lings not twitching, his eyes never closing.

Jane's own eyes flickered and slowly opened. She blinked sleepily; Ryuzaki's concentration remained unbroken. Until, that is, she squealed in alarm, her hand coming up and connecting soundly with his jaw. It was total reflex, he could tell, but he was still shocked, sent toppling off the edge of the sofa and landing, flat on his back. He sat up slowly, hand to his mouth, feeling his jaw hinge and unhinge in a most unnatural fashion as he tried to force it back into the proper position. Jane's face appeared over the arm of the couch. Her eyes were still hazy with half-dispelled sleep.

"Ryuzaki…?" She yawned. "What are you doing down there…?"

Ryuzaki shot her an injured look, still attempting to hook his jaw back into its correct place. It felt like the time that he- just a boy –had disjointed his wrist. Watari had fixed that fairly easily, and Ryuzaki had been sure that he knew how to do it. Now, he wasn't so certain.

"What are you doing on the floor…?" Jane asked, seeming bewildered. Ryuzaki looked up at her, his eyes akin to those of a beaten puppy. Understanding lit in her eyes. "Oh… I punched you, didn't I…?"

"Yes…" Ryuzaki had to work hard to speak.

"Oh gosh, I am so sorry!" Jane scrambled off the couch, moving toward where Ryuzaki was still massaging his jaw.

"Ow!" Poor Ryuzaki positively yelped as the bone popped back into place, the skin already coloring with broken blood vessels. He gazed at Jane, looking, for all the world, like a hurt and somewhat resentful puppy. "You hit _hard,_" he whined, rubbing his cheek.

"I'm so, so sorry! I wasn't awake! I-I didn't realize it was you!" Jane knelt beside him, putting one hand on his shoulder. He accepted her comfort grudgingly.

"It's okay," he said softly, "I've been though worse." For some reason, his mind flashed to his fights with Light. His mood darkened further, and he drew away from Jane. "I'm fine," he grumbled, grabbing his laptop from the couch.

"Ry…"

Ryuzaki turned, and his expression softened. "Go back to sleep," he said gently, then turned and left the room, snatching a cupcake from the table on his way.

… … …

"Wow! You're really coming?"

Ryuzaki looked up from his laptop at Jane's excited exclamation. He shoved his chair away from the desk, rolling to the door of his office and peering out. Jane was hanging up the phone, grinning widely. She came over and suddenly spun his chair, startling him. When he stopped spinning, a bit dizzy, she smiled hugely at him.

"Guess what?" she didn't pause, so Ryuzaki figured it was a rhetorical question. "My brother is coming to visit! In a week! He says he can't wait to meet you!"

Ryuzaki smiled, but he secretly wasn't too thrilled about the prospect. Still… Jane seemed so happy… _I'll go along with it… for now. _

**(A/N) Why is Ryuzaki so mistrustful of Jane's brother? He's never met him… or has he? I hope you guys liked the chapter! I might (**_**might**_**) get another chapter up later in this week! Yay! **

**Please review! As always, reviewers get hints! **


	18. Part One Chapter Eighteen

**(A/N) I'm back! With a very late chapter! -_- **

**A quick heads up: I am going to try to steer clear of religion in this fic (did I already say that?) but I am going to assume that there is a mystic all-powerful force out there that some (including me) call God. It will not be a focal point of the story, and the last thing I want to do is offend anybody. I just thought it fit and was an interesting thing to bring up in the chapter to move a certain story point to light. (Light, lol. No pun intended.) **

**Thank you so much to WhiteLadyDragon**, **Deathcomessoon, AnimeRANDOMNESS, invisible-gurl, and "Mimi" aka CocoBunni96 for reviewing! **

**Contrary to what I originally thought, we don't learn much about Jane in this chapter. That'll come next. **

**I own nothing except Jane and the plot. (I'm getting sooo tired of saying that) **

"This is… so stupid…" l moaned softly, one hand coming down forcefully on his keyboard. Jane peered over his shoulder curiously.

"What's the matter?" she asked, setting a slice of cake beside the detective.

"This." L motioned to the screen. "I have no recourses, no manpower… I have to stoop to _hacking _the police data base!"

"Wait… you're _hacking the police data base_?" Jane looked shocked. Ryuzaki raised one eyebrow.

"I've done worse."

"… Okay…"

"In fact, I've done this several times. It's not really a problem, just very annoying."

"Isn't that… you know, against the law?"

"Yes. so is putting surveillance cameras in peoples' houses. So is wire tapping people's phones. So is trying to elicit confessions in certain ways. So is detaining someone with no concrete evidence against them. So is…"

Jane held up her hands. "Enough, enough. I don't want to know." _Well, I've never seen this side of him before… I never knew. _

… … …

Ryuzaki's mind was seething with frustration. _How vexing! Me, forced to hack the police system. I should have free access to it. _

"This would be so much easier if I were still L." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. With his increasing knowledge of human relationships, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"Do you _want _to be L again?" Jane asked softly.

Ryuzaki shook his shaggy head. "No, definitely not. But this new Kira just tangles things up."

An idea occurred to him, although not for the first time. "Technically, I have over a hundred separate detective codes, but…" he made a helpless gesture, "L was the most influential. I have virtually unlimited funds, though Near and Mello, and that allows me to work fairly effectively as Eraldo Coil… but… I can't work as Coil because Coil is a detective for hire. I could make up a client, but… Matsuda and Soichiro and the others know that I'm Coil. Then again… Coil didn't disappear when L did… they might assume I named a successor for that name…" Ryuzaki didn't quite realize he was thinking out loud, so when Jane spoke, he was surprised.

"Have you been working as Coil?"

Ryuzaki shrugged. "The cases Coil gets are a lot less involved. I usually can finish them in a day or two. And Coil can work on his own terms, so I don't really mind. I do love my work, just so long as it _is _on my own terms."

Jane nodded thoughtfully. A sudden notion struck Ryuzaki, and he voiced it before he could stop himself.

"That… thing you do on Sundays… do you believe in that?"

Jane glanced at him curiously. "You mean Church? Yeah, I believe. That's how I was raised."

Ryuzaki chewed his nail thoughtfully, deep in memories. "Watari was, for all intents and purposes, my father. The first book I remember reading- when I was two months old –was _My First Bible_." Then, softer, almost to himself, he murmured, "In the beginning, there was darkness. Then God said 'Let there be Light.'" Of course, Jane could neither hear the capital "L" that Ryuzaki had spoken or fathom a possible reason for it.

"Why don't you ever come?" Jane asked.

Ryuzaki shook his head. "You misunderstand. I'm not religious by nature. Watari was, but I'm not. I don't belong to any religion, nor do I want to."

"What do you believe in, then?" Jane cocked her head to one side.

Ryuzaki had no trouble answering. "I believe in myself; what I can see; what I can touch; what I can prove."

Jane shook her head in bewilderment. "What about faith? You must have faith in something."

"I have faith in myself. I have faith in you. If you're looking for something supernatural in nature, I suppose I have 'faith' in Shinigami, as I've met one. and the Death Note," Ryuzaki added as an afterthought, having already explained about the killer notebook to Jane.

"But… what about an afterlife?" Jane asked.

Ryuzaki looked down at his bare toes, seeming lost in thought. "I suppose I didn't believe in one. But then…" his hand went to the watch, "with Light… I don't really know."

… … …

Jane, who had fallen asleep on the couch beside Ryuzaki, gasped suddenly, bolting upright. Ryuzaki jumped back in alarm, nearly spilling his coffee onto his laptop in his surprise. Victoria, who had been asleep on Jane's chest, leaped up, startled.

"What's the matter?" he asked as calmly as he could manage.

Jane, with an effort, caught her breath. "I… I don't quite know. I had a dream… and I was… looking for something…"

"Did you find it?" Ryuzaki asked in interest.

Jane shook her head, rubbing one eye. "No… no, I don't think I did."

… … …

Ryuzaki had thrown himself into the case with complete vigor. Taking on a case such as this one after so long was nothing short of thrilling. This new Kira, or Second Generation Kira (G2 Kira, for short) as he had taken to calling him, was acting with even more swiftness and urgency than Light or Misa ever had. This time, though, L found himself flying solo. Near and Mello could work publicly, but he couldn't risk it. as though the young boy was a shadow in L's mind, the computer screen when white and a gothic 'N' appeared in its center.

"Ryuzaki, you there?" Near hadn't bothered to disguise his voice.

"Yeah. Found anything?"

"Well, we know that this Kira is located in Japan, just like the last one. Also, we suspect a male."

L nodded, although Near couldn't see it. He had come to the same conclusion.

"Well, we have to narrow it down further before any real action can be taken. I'll send you what I've found."

Near made a small sound of interest, and then the sound of fingers flying over a keyboard came though the computer. "This is… incredible. You're amazing, as always." No doubt the small teen had half a dozen computers, all displaying the data that L had just sent him. Ryuzaki took the lull as an opportunity to unwrap a lollypop.

"Perhaps you could try a similar trick, with a television broadcast," L suggested, but his mind had just struck upon an idea.

"Agreed," Near said. Then, he sighed. "I wish L would come back. I feel awfully put upon."

"I'm always here to help," L reminded him softly.

"I know… but it's not the same," Near lamented.

"I know, I know. To tell the truth, I feel awful, staying in the shadows like this." Ryuzaki took a long drink of his coffee moistened sugar.

"You have a right to live your own life!" Near objected.

"At the cost of others'?" Ryuzaki allowed a bit of his angst about the situation to seep into his voice.

"But you have us!" Near said sharply. "You're working to save lives though Mello and I!"

"I suppose you're right," L sighed. "Please, continue with your efforts." Abruptly disconnecting, L decided, on a whim (as much as L ever did anything on a whim), to follow through on that idea he had had earlier. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number he hadn't dialed in a long, long time.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered. "This is the Yagami residence, how may I help you?"

"Hello, Sayu. I need to speak to your father."

"Who is this?" Sayu sounded a bit scared.

The man on the end of the line smirked. "Just tell him my name is Ryuzaki. He'll understand."

**(A/N) Yes, in this alternate continuum, Soichiro is alive. **

**For the sake of plot progression. **

**Since, in L Change the World, Light died before L did, so that means that the encounter with Mello never happened. Convenient. **

**Reviewers get to know what Jane's dreaming of…! **


	19. Part One Chapter Nineteen

**(A/N) I am sooo sorry for the long wait! I lost the notebook that my outline was in for the longest time…! Dx I haven't been on FanFic in so long...! T^T  
**

**Anywhos… I like this chapter. Hope you will, too! :D **

**Thank you so much to CocoBunni96 and the mysterious unsigned reviewer who didn't leave a name! Hope you enjoy the next chapter! **

**I do not own Ryuzaki or Soichiro or Matsuda or Aizawa or Ide or Mogi. Although it would be adorable to keep a little chibi Matsu and a little chibi Mogi on my desk…! Mogi would guard my pencils and Matsuda would cheer me up! They're so cute…! … back to reality. **

Soichiro and his wife were making diner when the phone rang.

"Sayu! Could you get that?" the ex-police chief called. There was the usual greeting, and then a pause. "Who is this?" There was a trace of fear in the girl's voice. A moment later, she set the phone down and padded into the kitchen. "Dad?" she called, sticking her head around the corner. "There's someone on the phone for you. He sounds scary. He says his name is… Ryuzaki?"

The measuring cup full of rice dropped from Soichiro's hand as his mouth fell slack. _No… _he thought, _Ryuzaki…? A coincidence. It has to be a coincidence. Ryuzaki… _that _Ryuzaki… is _dead_. _

"S-sorry about the rice, dear," he said softly, and went into the living room. With a trembling hand, he picked up the phone. "Hello?" His voice was a whisper.

"Good day, Yagami-san."

Soichiro's knees went weak, and he had to grip the edge of the desk to remain upright. "Ryuzaki…" he choked out. "It is you…" There was no way he would ever forget the childish, cunning voice that had spurred the taskforce to action time and time again.

"Yes, Yagami-san. I am sorry that this has to be over the phone, but that will soon be remedied. Do you have a pen?"

"Y-yes." Soichiro scrabbled for a pen and paper, knocking over the pencil cup and sending writing utensils skittering across the floor. "Go ahead."

Ryuzaki stated an address, and then smiled to himself. "Could you please call all the other task force members? But please do not tell them why." he paused, and Soichiro heard the smile in his voice. "I want to see their reactions."

… … …

Ryuzaki waited nervously inside the hotel room, shifting from foot to foot. _I hope I did the right thing… _He felt horribly guilty about the outright lie that he had told Jane, but, as he saw it, she simply would have insisted on coming, which was the last complication he wanted. If all went according to plan, she would meet them all soon enough. In a desperate attempt to calm his nerves, he pulled a candy cane Jane had picked up for him out of his pocket. _Hm… Christmas is coming, isn't it? _

A few moments into his reflection on the approaching holiday, he heard voices drifting in from the hall. Another heartbeat passed before there was a soft knock at the door, and the voices quieted. Ryuzaki took a deep breath and laid a hand on the doorknob, turning it slowly. The door swung open on oiled hinges, and Ryuzaki took a single step back.

Outside stood five men. At the head was Soichiro just behind him stood Matsuda and Ide. Behind them stood Mogi and Aizawa. Ryuzaki watched many emotions play over their faces: awe, confusion, sadness, hope, and in some cases anger. Matsuda was the first to react; he burst into tears and staggered forward slightly, a huge grin appearing on his face.

"I knew it!" he cried jubilantly. "Ryuzaki!"

At this cry, Soichiro, Ide and Mogi joined him, crowding into the room. Only Aizawa held back, his face angled downward. Soichiro and Matsuda both hugged him, while Mogi just stood there smiling; Ide voiced question after question. Ryuzaki found himself strangely… happy. He glanced up at Aizawa, wincing at the dark cloud of fury hanging over the afro-haired man.

"Stop it!" he roared, hitting Matsuda in the head. "Stop it! You're greeting him like puppies flocking to a hero! He's no hero!"

The members of the taskforce fell into a hushed silence. Ryuzaki looked up, meeting Aizawa's furious gaze.

"Aizawa!" Soichiro's voice was firm. "What is-?"

"Let him speak." L's voice was equally firm; he had suspected this from the curly-haired officer, even if he had hoped against it. that was why he had asked Soichiro not to tell anyone he had known that Aizawa wouldn't have come.

"You are no here!" Aizawa declared, taking an aggressive step forward. "You are a coward, a coward who deserted us! A coward who fled and hid, and robbed humanity of their greatest hope!"

Ryuzaki, although trying consciously not to, flinched as the words hit him like physical blows. Matsuda, who was still attached to the raven-haired detective, felt him begin to tremble.

"How can you say that?" he asked, springing to Ryuzaki's defense. "After all-"

"Please, Matsu-kun." Ryuzaki's voice was soft. "Let this be put to rest now. Let him speak." He gently untangled himself from the throng around him, and stepped into the open to face Aizawa. He replaced the candy cane he had removed from his mouth earlier; the sugar was comforting, and kept him from shaking.

"You are the lowest," Aizawa growled. "Don't you see what's going on in the world? Don't you watch the news? Don't you see how much the world needs you? Can't you see the murdered children, the raped women, the innocent, dying? When you 'died,' everyone stopped fearing you! The rate for crime jumped by ten percent in a month! Doesn't justice mean anything to you anymore? How can you just stand by, and live with yourself?"

Ryuzaki felt every word stab him, sharper and more painful than a red hot blade. He flinched repeatedly, unable to keep himself completely under control in the face of the tirade. He tossed his head slightly to get his long, rumpled hair to cover his eyes, filled with water by such agony. Only Aizawa, directly in from of the raven-haired man, saw the glittering droplets that splashed onto the floor. He appeared surprised, stepping slightly back.

"You're right," Ryuzaki said softly. "I can't live with myself." he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, probably Soichiro or Matsuda, but shrugged it off. "It's hard… _impossible_, for me to ignore. But I _swore _that I would no longer be a slave, and that is what I was as L." Gathering his courage, he looked up, tears streaking his face. he heard an audible gasp from those behind him; none of them had ever seen him cry.

"Ryuzaki…" Matsuda sounded about ready to start crying, too. He put a hand on Ryuzaki's shoulder again, and this time, the ex-detective allowed it to remain.

"Ryuzaki…" Aizawa scrambled for words, reminded of when he had accused the detective once before. "I'm truly sorry… I had no idea…" He trailed off with a helpless gesture.

"It's quite understandable, Aizawa-san," Ryuzaki said, and then continued, in a crisper tone, "Well, on to business. Please-"

"Turn off your cell phones," Matsuda finished with a smile. Ryuzaki nodded approvingly, a small smirk on his face.

Ryuzaki sat down, with the task force members around him, having a strange sense of déjà-vu. For the next half hour, they discussed the case. Ryuzaki explained the dynamics of how he was working with Near, too. He was just about to try to explain his encounter with the world-be-assassin and Light… but was interrupted when the door burst open.

"Dessert shopping, huh?"

"Jane?" Ryuzaki yelped and sprang backwards, toppling off his chair and falling, landing flat on his back, all four limbs curled in the air. A moment later, Jane was standing over him.

"I can explain…" he said weakly, smiling his best 'I'm-too-cute-to-kill-and-besides-who-would-you-make-sweets-for' smile.

"You better," Jane snorted, her eyes blazing.

Ryuzaki picked himself up off the ground, trying to recover his dignity as best he could. He met each of the confused taskforce members' gazes, and then took a deep breath.

"Let's begin with interdictions," he finally said. "Everyone, this is Jane. Jane, this is Yagami Soichiro, Matsuda, Ide, Mogi, and Aizawa. They were the task force for the original Kira case, and worked with me then."

"Wait… she knows about the Kira case?" Matsuda sounded, for once in his life, wary. "Then she knows…"

"That I am L," Ryuzaki finished, and then shrugged. "Or at least that I used to be."

"Why?" It was Ide who raised the question. "Why trust anyone with that?"

"Well… it would be a little hard to hide something like that from…" He paused, taking a deep, steadying breath in an attempt to gather his courage, "… my girlfriend."

All the taskforce members- even Mogi –gaped. Matsuda was the first to recover.

"Th-that's great…!" he spluttered. "I never would have thought!"

Ryuzaki felt a prickle of resentment. "It's not _that _far-fetched…"

"Yes, it is," Jane growled. "Sometimes I don't know why I put up with you." A sudden change came over her, and she smiled and dipped her head politely. "It's a pleasure to meet you all." Again she changed without warning, and rounded on Ryuzaki, grabbing a handful of his unruly hair. "I need to talk to you. _In private._" Without waiting for a response, she began to walk away, still holding on stubbornly to his hair.

Poor Ryuzaki looked at the taskforce members helplessly. Matsuda was snickering, and Soichiro's looked embarrassed form him; Ide looked a bit confused.

"I'll be right ba- ow!" Ryuzaki's lighthearted call turned into a whine as Jane twisted his hair tighter. Matsuda burst out laughing as the two vanished into the adjacent room.

"Talk." Jane's voice left no room for argument as she deposited him on the floor.

Ryuzaki rubbed his head, not meeting her gaze, both embarrassed and filled with dread. "Well… I thought that… if I got in contact with them… I could…"

"Not that!" Jane snapped, seeming furious. "I mean why the hell didn't you tell me?"

Ryuzaki jumped. _Well… I should have known that that was what was important to her. _

"Well… you would have insisted on coming… and… that would have made a delicate situation more complicated. I would have told you… but I… wanted to make… contact with these guys first…" ryyzaki could have easily thought up a lie, but he strove to tell the truth. Jane seemed to see this, and sighed.

"This isn't over," she said firmly, then opened the door. Ryuzaki followed, looking for the world like a chastised puppy. Jane smiled cheerily. "Well, everyone," she bowed slightly, "it's an honor to meet Ryuzaki's friends. I honestly didn't think he had any." She smiled. "Well, since I'm here, I might as well make coffee and snacks. How about it?"

There was a chorus of enthusiastic murmurings, and Jane's smile grew wider; she vanished into the kitchen. Ryuzaki let out a sigh of relief, sitting back down and running one hand nervously though his hair.

"Well then… that was… painful," he said, toes gripping the edge of his chair. He looked down to hide his embarrassment.

After a few seconds, Jane poked her head into the room again. "I'm guessing you all have more… reasonable tastes when it comes to sugar?"

Matsuda laughed, and there was a general nod. Jane vanished again, and Ryuzaki sighed.

"Back to the matter at hand. Near and I-"

"Cake or cookies?" Jane appeared again, and Ryuzaki scowled inwardly. "Or I could make pralines?"

Half a dozen responses came, and Jane smiled and nodded, ducking out of the room once again.

"Well." There was no question in Ryuzaki's voice; it was a call to attention. "This Kira is also located in Japan. We have determined that he or she prioritizes corrupt government officials, or those who take advantage of power. Therefore, we believe that-"

"Coffee or tea?" Ryuzaki's thoughts screeched to a halt at Jane's cheerful question. He flexed his toes impatiently as the taskforce members voiced their preferences. When Jane had left again, he took a dep breath.

"_Therefore,_" his voice was hard and commanding, "we believe that he is a man who has struggled all his life. An 'underdog,' so to speak. Now, I am unable to challenge this Kira directly; that is Near's place. And that is why I have called on you all. I think that-"

"All do-one!" Jane's singsong voice derailed his train of thought, and everything ground to an excruciating halt. He gritted his teeth, but kept his face neutral.

Jane came in, expertly balancing a tray of various sweets, a tray of cups for drinks, a pot of coffee, and a pot of hot water for tea. She laid everything out on the table.

"Wow!" Matsuda exclaimed, seeming impressed. "How did you so this so quickly?"

"Oh, I was prepared for this." Ryuzaki's ears pricked up as Jane continued. "I did a little… _research_… and found out that he had rented a room here. I also found the record of his conversation with you, Soichiro, on his cell phone."

"You what!" Ryuzaki's voice was an alarmed squeak. He quickly composed himself, and then amended the question. "You went through my phone? And _tapped _it?"

"Of course." Jane's eyes sparkled. "You weren't acting like yourself. It was written all over you that you were keeping some sort of secret." Then, after a pause, she added in a purr, "I was _worried _about you. Your appetite was off. Not like you at all." She gave a nonchalant toss of her head. "Tapping your phone was the next step. You would have done the same.

Ryuzaki opened his mouth to object… but then realized that he _would _have done _exactly_ the same. He scrambled for a response, unaware that his mouth was still hanging open.

"I do a lot of things," he said finally, "that aren't particularly right. But that's-" He was brought up short, realizing suddenly that he _couldn't _play the 'I'm L' card, which had been his trump for as long as he could remember. With an inaudible grumble, he made an effort to become fascinated with the praline he had picked up.

"I've never seen _anyone _who could render _Ryuzaki _speechless!" Matsuda sounded like he wanted to start applauding. Ryuzaki shrunk lower in his seat.

Ide let out a low whisper. "You're right. I've never seen him give ground like that!" Ryuzaki wanted to vanish.

Jane was quite proud of herself. She took the praise of the taskforce graciously, though she did feel a bit sorry for Ryuzaki. The poor boy was curling into a tighter ball with every word, looking as though he wanted to turn invisible. _Well, he deserves it, for lying to me! _Then, one bit of praise caught her ear.

"Not even my boy Light could subdue him like that!" Soichiro was saying. Jane saw Ryuzaki flinch, but the rest of the taskforce took the comment in stride, chorusing agreement. Jane went though a momentary debate; she knew it would hurt Ryuzaki, but…

"Your boy?" she asked innocently. "So Light was your son?"

This brought on a hush. Ryuzaki's head snapped up, and Soichiro cleared his throat.

"Yes," he said softly. "Had Ryuzaki… told you about him?"

_If I say yes, he'll speak more freely… but I might gain more information… _

"He's mentioned him," she said.

"A little," Ryuzaki said, at exactly the same moment. They glanced at each other. Soichiro's gaze flashed between them.

"Well… then it's not my place," the ex-police chief finally said. "When Ryuzaki wants to tell you, he will."

_Tell me what?_ Jane wanted to scream, but she held her tongue. Instead, she forced another smile.

"I'm sure you could get it out of him, too!" Matsuda chirped, and Ryuzaki flinched back again, embarrassment returning. Everyone chuckled and the problem of Light was, for the moment, forgotten.

**(A/N) So what did you think? My fingers are tired. I don't want to type anymore. Dx **

**Reviewers get hints at what's to come! See you soon! **


	20. Part One Chapter Twenty

**(A/N) Next chapter! … I have nothing more to say. ^^; **

**Thank you to CocoBunni96, invisible-gurl, AnimeRANDOMNESS, and Abby-Flourite! Reviews are always appreciated! Thank you so much! **

**I own Jane and Daniel. I do not own L or Light. **

After the two of them had returned home, diner had been made, and chess had been played, Jane settled into her bed for sleep. The second she closed her eyes, however, she found herself in the familiar whiteness, where her dreams had brought her the last few nights. She had the nagging feeling that she was searching for something lost, but could neither identify it nor find it. Pacing though the emptiness, she resumed her futile search.

… … …

Someone else had also found themselves in the same setting, for the first time. He was even more confused than the girl; dreams were not a usual occurrence, for he did not sleep, so it must have been happening in some stage of reality. And while reality might have a different meaning for him, it was still bewildering.

So, fluffing his wings, he began to look for something that he could not name.

… … …

When Jane first spotted the other figure across the seemingly fluffy white hills, she was surprised. Each time, she had been alone, and the interdiction of this new person threw her for a loop. So, with little other choice, she struck out towards the figure, which looked as though it was searching as well.

"Hello?" she called, her voice sounding oddly lyrical. "Excuse me!"

The figure turned, and she saw that he was a handsome young man. The thing that should have alarmed her, but somehow didn't, was that he sported a pair of huge red wings. Those wings flapped momentarily, in what might have been a motion of surprise.

"Are you looking for something?"

After a pause, he answered her. "I think so… but I don't know what it is."

Jane smiled. "Same here. I know I'm dreaming, but it seems really important!"

The boy shifted slightly. "Well… I'm not dreaming." Shifting the wings again, this time for some sort of demonstration, he smiled slightly.

Jane cocked her head. "So… what are you? Are you like… an angel or something?"

The boy looked about to laugh. "I suppose you could say that."

Jane's curiosity was peeked considerably. "Have you ever met god?"

This time the boy _did _chuckle. "No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"You don't know how to leave well enough alone, do you?" the boy flicked his wings in something that might have been annoyance. "I don't think I want to see Him."

Jane furrowed her brow. "Huh. Interesting. So… why do you think we're here?"

The boy chuckled again. "All you do is ask questions, huh? I don't know."

Jane cocked her head, peering curiously around. "Well… I don't feel like I should be looking anymore. I think we were supposed to find each other."

"… I think you're right, Jane."

The girl's ears perked. "Jane? How do you know my name?"

Light cursed slightly under his breath._ What the…? I was better at this in Life…_ "I know these things."

"Well, what's yours?"

"… Names are powerful things. I'd rather not give out mine." _Ryuzaki… I won't cause you more pain by telling her what _you_ don't want her to know. _

Suddenly, the young girl's hand darted out. Light jumped back in alarm, but he wasn't quick enough. Her slim hand caught hold of his left wing, where the shredded tip was still visible. Narrowing her eyes, she smirked.

"Careful with your name… you're Light! Yagami Light!"

Light, with little else to do, held up his hands. "You got me. Ryuzaki knows how to pick a girl." Shifting his wing slightly, he shook his head. "I was better at this in Life…"

"Better at…?"

"Identities, secrets, talking my way out of things," he replied. "I suppose there's no real point in that _now_… there's no point in keeping secrets."

Now Jane saw an opportunity. "What _is _this secret that Ryuzaki is trying to keep? It has to do with you, and it's something big, I know it."

Light shifted uncomfortably, folding and unfolding his wings several times before he answered. "The answer… is for Ryuzaki to tell. I've hurt him enough, and you… telling you prematurely would only hurt him more."

Jane huffed crossly. "You've hurt him enough…"

Light rolled his eyes, almost indulgent. "You're a smart girl; you'll figure it out, even if Ryuzaki _never _tells you."

_Jane…? Jane? _

The voice interrupted the two of them; a voice from the Living; Ryuzaki's voice. Jane felt herself begin to fade, and turned back to Light.

"?"

Light smiled. "We'll see each other again, at least I think so. See you soon, then."

… … …

"Jane? Wake up."

Jane opened her eyes back in the world of the Living, finding herself face to face with Ryuzaki. The first thing that struck her as she woke was the similarity of their eyes; the eyes she had been staring into for the last half hour and the eyes she now woke to. Ryuzaki's might have been black; Light's might have been gold; but the essence of them was the same.

"Someone's at the door."

Realization dawned in Jane's mind, and she bolted upright. "My brother!"

Ryuzaki had already surmised who it was at the door. He padded along behind Jane, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach. It was like the feeling he had gotten the first time he had laid eyes on Light, way back at To-oh University.

Jane opened the door, her face lighting up. "Daniel!" she cried, hugging her brother tightly. Ryuzaki, however, hung back.

"Hey, little sis." Daniel ruffled his sister's hair in a familiar fashion. He was a tall man, strong but rather lean. His hair was such a dark brown that it seemed almost black, and his blue eyes flickered with shadow. This gaze switched to Ryuzaki. "Hello, there."

"Hello," the raven-haired man replied shortly, dipping his head politely.

"Oh, Daniel, this is Ryuzaki." Jane began to excitedly introduce the two men. "Ryuzaki, meet Daniel."

"A pleasure, Daniel-san." Ryuzaki bowed slightly, his movements careful.

"The same. And just 'Dan' is fine, please." Jane's brother smiled, and Ryuzaki got the distinct impression that the resulting warmth could melt ice.

"Come in, come it!" Jane urged, pulling at her brother's arm. The two dark haired me, however, were still inspecting each other on some level that no normal people would. They both followed Jane, however, seeming willing to forgo their standoff at her urging. As they sat down at the kitchen table, Ryuzaki drew his knees up to his chest, as was his custom. Dan looked at him queerly, eyes narrowed.

"It's comfortable," Ryuzaki said briefly, before the other could ask the question.

Dan shrugged in an easy-going way. "Whatevs. You wanna be a freak, that's your own business."

**(A/N) And right off the bat there's tension. What did you all think of the twist with Light? And where do you think **_**that **_**will go? Next update'll come soon… in fact, there's a slight possibility that I'll update later today. In any case, there will probably be another update mid next week. Reviewers get a hint! **


	21. Part One Chapter Twenty one

**EDIT: Oh shoot! I can't believe I updated the wrong chapter! Here's the REAL update! (So sorry! *begs forgiveness*)  
**

**(A/N) First things first… (sorry for the long (A/N) coming… it contains some important stuff so pretty please read it) **

**I SCREWED UP MY OWN CHARACTER'S NAMES! *writhes in pain and then dies on the floor* **

**Thank you to PhoenixPhlame for pointing that out. (It was great to read your whole review, actually, you're quite perceptive. ;) Thanks for the compliments, too!) **

**Actually, I'm really confused. Did I really say that Jane's bro's name was Jeremy? I know that the next door neighbor hitting on her was named Jeremy, right…? Yeah, I know that… I think I intended to change Daniel's name originally, because I know someone named Dan… but… but I didn't think I'd actually changed it! So… ignore it? Jane's only got one brother, and his name is Daniel. **

**I will be editing the whole story soon (IN PREPERATION FOR THE START OF PART 2!), so… yeah. It'll be fixed as soon as I get around to that. **

**Thank you a thousand times to invisible-gurl, "abbyflourite," AnimeRANDOMNESS, Izlye, PhoenixPhlame and CocoBunni96! I'm sorry I didn't get around to replying and giving you the hint that I promised… my brain died. x_x It still means so much that you reviewed, thank you all! *blows kisses* **

**Without further ado… **

**Oh, and I don't own Death Note. ^^ **

Jane was woken by a tremendous racket from her bedroom ceiling.

Sitting up groggily, the girl rubbed one eye in an attempt to shake off sleep. Another thud drove her from her warm covers to investigate; as she climbed the stairs, shouted curses reached her ears, and the haze of sleep vanished completely. Taking the steps two at a time, she flung open the door to her brother's temporary room.

Daniel and Ryuzaki appeared to have each other by the throat, the former atop the later. As Jane paused in shock they rolled over several times across the floor, her brother managing an elbow in the other's face and he, in retaliation, a kick to the gut.

"St… stop!" Jane cried suddenly, as soon as she had regained her power of speech. The two men broke apart and froze, their gazes switching from each other to the very peeved sister/girlfriend. "Stop it, both of you!"

"He started it!" Dan spat, jerking his thumb in Ryuzaki's direction. "The idiot was snooping around in my stuff!"

"Did you give him a reason to?" the girl asked calmly, and her brother shook his head furiously.

"No!"

"Ryuzaki?" Jane inquired, turning to the other.

"He's suspicious," the ex-detective grumbled, looking away. "Old habits."

"Suspicious?" Dan raged, and Ryuzaki glanced up shrewdly.

"Of course. Everything about you screams 'illegal activity.'"

"And everything about _you_ screams insomniac freak who wants to jump my sister!"

Both men simultaneously launched themselves at one another once again, Ryuzaki twisting his body gracefully to kick the other in the chin. Dan rapidly countered by grabbing the upturned ankle, pulling his opponent off-balance and straight into his fist.

"Stop!" Jane cried again, louder this time; both, however, ignored her in favor of tearing the other's throat out. With a scowl, Jane stormed forward and forcibly dragged Ryuzaki off to the side, one arm firmly around his narrow ribcage. She felt his chest heave and vibrate with something akin to a growl, and tried not to be unnerved.

"Let… me… go…" the raven-haired man said in a perfect monotone, his eyes never leaving Dan.

"Obey your master, little one!" the other taunted, and Ryuzaki's feet dug into the carpet, straining against Jane's hold.

"Both of you will shut up and listen to me!" the girl exclaimed, stamping one foot, although to get attention and not out of temper. It was quite uncanny, a girl dressed in kitten-and-paw print pajamas, complete with nightcap, commanding the attention of both boys so instantly. "There will be no more fighting so long as you are both under my roof, do you understand?"

"It's technically _my _roof," Dan countered. "And since when does the little sister tell the big brother what to do?"

"Since the big brother started picking fights with the little sister's boyfriend!" Jane snapped back, not missing a beat. Then, with one more look at her brother, she turned and quite literally dragged Ryuzaki out of the room, closing the door loudly behind her. Then, releasing the panda-like man, she turned on him. "Do you have any idea-" Too late she realized that he, dreading the impending lecture, had taken off down the stairs, vanishing into his room with a fearful _click _of the lock.

Sighing resignedly, Jane trudged back downstairs, all but giving up any remaining sleep that night. And so she stationed herself at the foot of the stairs, between the two boys' rooms, intent on keeping watch.

… … …

_Jane didn't know when she had fallen asleep, but the liquid white surroundings told her that she had. And, as if she needed more verification, the red-winged boy approaching confirmed it. _

"_I thought you'd _never _fall asleep. Do you know how boring it gets, being dead?" They had met enough times that neither of them flinched at the word 'dead' anymore. _

"_It must be fantastic compared to the web of tension at my place," Jane said, and Light nodded solemnly. _

"_I've been watching. Can I… speak freely?" _

"_Always." _

"_Well…" Light began hesitantly, " L… he values your opinion more than anyone's; he values it more than he valued _mine_. I don't think I need to tell you how many times he's compromised his own instincts, his own logic." The Winged paused before continuing, his wings flicking nervously. "But… with this Dan issue… I don't think he'll give ground. He's treating this seriously… like, _life-and-death _seriously." _

_Jane sighed. "I… suppose you're right." _

"_And… one other thing" Light began hesitantly. "… About… Kira…" _

The dream vanished abruptly as Jane was tripped over. Both brother and sister cried out in surprise as they went rolling across the floor, much to Victoria's alarm.

"Jane?" the elder yelped, and the younger pushed out from under him crossly.

"Who else, you oaf?" she snapped angrily, brushing herself off.

_Something… about Kira… _

… … …

That morning, tension reined at the kitchen table. Although it didn't come from the direction that one might have expected.

"… I think she's mad at us…" came the furtive whisper, and Ryuzaki nodded.

"She didn't make breakfast," he told Dan mournfully. "She _always _makes breakfast." He pouted, poking dejectedly at the slice of leftover cake he had unearthed in the fridge.

"She shouldn't be mad at _us_," the brother commented, casting a furtive glance across the table.

A sudden chill crept across both boys, and the hair on the backs of their necks stood on end.

"You two… have something you'd like to say?"

"Uh… nothing!" Ryuzaki yelped, bolting out of his chair. "I… I'll be in my room!"

"Don't leave me…!" came Dan's squeak, but Ryuzaki disregarded it, bolting into his room like a frightened animal to its den. Sighing with relief, he flicked on his computer.

"Ryuzaki?" came Near's somewhat worried voice. "Are you alright?"

"Not at all," the other confessed, glancing furtively at the door. "Jane is angry, and Daniel… I get a bad feeling about him, Near."

"I'll try to get what information I-" Near's voice was cut off mid-sentence, and the computer screen blinked dark. L, in a moment of uncharacteristic panic, rose from his chair.

"Near?" he yelped, although it was pointless as the other could not hear him. a moment later, however, there was a rapping at his door.

"Sorry about that," Jane's voice filtered though the wood, "but the… internet connection went down."

_If it really went down, shed ask me to fix it, _Ryuzaki thought with a twinge of resentment, and then added, _she must be really mad… _With little else to do, he heaved a sigh and struck out onto the street hoping that, maybe, if he let things be, they would calm down. As he opened the door, Victoria let out a questioning _mew_, and he paused to stroke her.

"I'll be back," he murmured. "Try to convince your mistress to be reasonable, hm?" The following meow sounded like an affirmative, and L shook his head slowly. _Talking to a cat… and actually thinking it _understands _me. _

… … …

Sometime later, Ryuzaki could be found exiting an ice cream store; the customers were few and far between, as the winter air was enough to make even the most avid ice cream lover seek a warmer snack. So the raven-haired man was alone, in more way than one. That was when the pamphlet fluttering on a street light caught his eye; more specifically, its headline caught his attention.

_HOLIDAYS WITH YOUR SWEETHEART NOT GOING AS PLANNED?_

And so, against his better judgment, L approached and peered at the advertisement, his eyes widening as he read the words there.

_Or maybe you just want to seal the deal? Either way, bring her on down to the Holiday Ball, held annually in Town Hall. Formal attire; 9pm-1am; Christmas Eve. The most romantic night of the year. _

And that was all it said.

Even so, Ryuzaki found himself tucking it thoughtfully into his pocket, although he had no experience in such matters.

**(A/N) Yep. Climax coming. Two more chapters and then that's the end of Part One! After that I might take maybe a month off to line up the next part, for the sake of being able to update more often (it'll streamline the process if I have an outline to work with, trust me). I'm really looking forward to these next two chapters, and those to come, so please stay tuned! Review for hints, I swear I'll get to it this time! *begs forgiveness* **


	22. Part One Chapter Twenty Two

**(A/N) I say screw planning. Plans are made to fall apart. This one did. **

**Just got home from my second day at Saboten-Con, and decided to sit down and write this with no regard for my plan whatsoever. Therefore, here it is. A bit short, certainly, but I still like it. ^^ **

**Thank you to Dawneyes luvs L Lawliet for reviewing and many thanks to invisible-gurl and Abby-Flourite for reviewing to tell me that I accidentally repeated a chapter! Thanks guys! **

**I do not own L or Death Note, just Jane, Dan and Victoria.**

**Hope you guys have caught onto the epic (and somewhat obvious) twist. Much is revealed in this chapter. ;)**

When Ryuzaki came home, the first thing that he was aware of was a strange stillness. Victoria, usually asleep on the couch, was missing, and the light in the kitchen, which was virtually always on, was dark.

Alarm prickling at his skin, the raven-haired man made his way cautiously up the stairs, one tentative step at a time. With his prime Kira suspect in the house, vigilance was indispensable. Peering down the hall, his suspicion grew considerably at the inky shadows.

_An ambush… a perfect setting… for an ambush… _

This premonition allowed him to brace himself for the impact that came only a moment later, slamming him against the wall, wrists held tightly above his head.

"L."

"Kira."

The acknowledgment was all that was needed. Both men, face to face, saw the truth in the other's eyes; for Ryuzaki's part, he saw the red glow that had illuminated Light's eyes; for Dan's part, the deep, brooding black that marked the lack of sleep for the sake of justice.

"Where's Jane?"

"At the veterinary."

"Victoria was healthy when I left."

"Amazing what a bit of chocolate can do."

Narrowing his eyes, Ryuzaki peered at his attacker. "If either of them is harmed in any way, you will be sorry."

"How nice. The great L is an animal lover."

"Not all; just Victoria."

"How precious."

The two stood in silence for a moment, and then laughter broke the silence. It did not, however, come from the expected direction.

"You are far inferior to Light," the detective gasped out between fits of giggles. "I could never predict his actions like I can predict yours. Kira-kun, this battle will be short."

"…" Eye's darkening with anger, Dan tightened his grip on the other's wrists until they creaked. "I may be mentally… inferior… but I have a tool that the original Kira could not dream exists."

Ryuzaki inhaled sharply, the pain in his wrists vanishing in the face of the pain in his heart. _Never before did I have attachments… and this was the reason. _

"Jane."

"As expected."

"You don't know my name…"

"But I know hers."

"Naturally." Struggling to keep his calm, Ryuzaki blinked once, slowly. "If I make a move, you will kill her?"

"Yes. You know the intricacies of the Death Note, yes?"

"Of course."

"Then the concept of controlling the actions of any individual will not be foreign to you."

"No, they will not." Feeling his stomach tighten, the raven-haired man shifted slightly.

"I can do a lot worse than kill her."

"I realize that." Feeling his spirit rebel at the words, he asked "So what are your demands, or may I guess?"

"You are impudent even in defeat. You will leave this place, and never return. Going to the police is forbidden; telling Near and/or Mello anything is forbidden. Chasing Kira is forbidden."

Strangely, it was the first stipulation that hit home. "I will be unable to see Jane."

"Obviously."

Looking down for the first time, Ryuzaki fidgeted. "Release me. I won't flee or attack."

Reassured by the broken eye contact, Dan allowed his hands to fall. Taking a step back, Jane's brother narrowed his eyes.

"The great L… fallen prey to the greatest bane of man: love."

"That may be true," the other acknowledged softly. "Very well. When is my deadline?"

Dan blinked. "What do you mean?"

"How long do I have?"

"… You will be gone by the time she returns," Dan answered simply, finally understanding. "It'll all be over before the day ends."

"No!" Surprising even himself, Ryuzaki cried out. Then, taking a moment to regain his composure, he spoke again, careful to keep his eyes lowered as if in respect. "… Allow me a little more time. Until…" An excuse hit him, and he pulled out the crumpled flyer from his pocket, "until this! Let me stay until Christmas."

"… Give me a good reason," the brunette said slowly, and Ryuzaki nearly smiled despite it. Dan could not keep up mentally, and they both knew it.

_I will win… retreat is necessary at this moment… but this… _disgrace _will not stand in my way. _"Because the longer I remain, the more memories I create, the more painful it will be for Jane."

"… Are you truly that selfish?"

_He actually bought that… although I suppose it's the truth after all… _"At times," Ryuzaki replied with a shrug. "Right now I am."

"…" With a chuckle, Dan averted his gaze. "Fine. Christmas, at midnight, is your deadline. A moment later, and she will die."

_And you would lose your hostage and your advantage, _L thought, but remained silent, only nodding. _The climax is fast approaching, Kira-san. This battle will be won with mental power alone, not by petty tactics such as yours. I will be victorious. _

**(A/N) It was a short chapter. one's ULTRA long.  
**

**Did you enjoy it, though? Pretty dramatic for such a short chapter, hmm? Reviewers get hints! **

**Next chapter is the final chapter of Part One! Are you psyched? **


	23. Part One Chapter Twenty Three

**(A/N) Last chapter of part one! *dances* **

**This was very hard to write, especially the dance. *shutters* The emotions were hard to capture, so I hope I did okay! **

**Thank you so much to ****CocoBunni96** **for reviewing! **

**On a similar note, I'm a bit worried about my vanishing reviewers (two chapters in a row)… did I do something horrible? *sad face* **

**Yes, Dan is Kira. From the reviews I got, a lot of people had already guessed… that's why the abrupt, dramatic reveal in the last chapter. ^^ **

***excitement* **

**I do not own L or Near nor any Death Note themes mentioned, only Jane and Dan. I don't like Dan. At all. =_= **

Ryuzkai had holed himself up in his room, and was quite loathe to come out.

Not for the reason one might think, though.

There was a commanding knock at his door, demanding entrance; he, obligingly, opened the door, allowing Dan to push inside and shove him further into the room. As he did so, he turned the thumb turn lock with a deft flick of his hand, and Ryuzaki dropped into a nervous crouch.

"Relax." Dan held up his hands. "I just want to talk. I locked up so that Jane wouldn't walk in on us."

Still wary, Ryuzaki straightened. "Very well, Kira-kun."

Dan nodded slowly, leaning against the wall easily. "Yes, yes… if you wish to call me that, though, you might want to use 'sama.'"

L narrowed his eyes. "Answer me this alone… _you _were the man who tried to kill me, correct?"

Dan nodded again, an evil grin marring his features. "That's right; a pity, really; that would have been so simple. Yet you seem to have a Shinigami on your side, as well."

"You could say that," Ryuzaki murmured noncommittally.

Moving quickly, the slightly older man closed the gap between himself and the other. "You'll be gone tonight." There was no question in his voice.

There was no defiance in Ryuzaki's. "Correct."

Smirking, Dan reached forward, and the raven-haired man discovered that there was a reason he never wore ties as the one around his neck was grabbed. An extremely trivial thought crossed his mind: _Why in the name of Cake did Light always wear these? _

"Enjoy this night, Ryuzaki. And I wish you the best beyond it."

… … …

Ryuzaki tugged nervously at the cuff of his ruffled tux, on edge due to Dan's visit. This compounded with the anxiety produced by the formal dress and the extraordinary occasion to make him one big bundle of twitching nerves. Dan's threat never left his mind, hanging like a dark fog. Slowly, hesitantly, he poked his head out of his room.

His breath caught when he saw Jane; she didn't notice _him_, not at first. She was standing near the couch, absently petting Victoria while perched upon the back of the couch. She wore a glittering red dress that ended about an inch above the ground, but had a large slit up the left side that went almost to her hip. The dress had a shining, spotless white waistband, drawing the eye to her narrow waist. She had hardly any make up on, but her dark eye liner highlighted her deep, brown eyes, and her lips were colored slightly.

Ryuzaki had never felt more unworthy in his life. He ran one hand through his clean, only slightly ruffled black hair and approached, feeling the black tie rub uncomfortably around his neck, almost as though Dan was once again throttling him.

Jane turned as though in slow motion, her hair catching the light in such a way that Ryuzaki couldn't help but follow it with his gaze. A smile lit her features, and she hopped up off her seat.

"Ryuzaki, you look _darling_!" she exclaimed, coming up beside him and touching his cheek gently. "So handsome!"

"You're breathtaking," Ryuzaki said, his voice a tremulous whisper as he reached up, tucking a lock of her hair back behind her ear. This motion brought them close, and a moment later he drew back a bit awkwardly, offering his hand. "Shall we go?"

Jane laughed softly, laying her fingers lightly in his palm. "We shall."

When the pair turned toward the door, however, Ryuzaki stiffened; Dan, seeming to have materialized out of nothing, was holding the door graciously for them.

"Enjoy your night!" he called jovially, grinning. Ryuzaki tried to keep his face a perfect blank, but didn't quite manage it.

About ten minutes later, the limousine (provided kindly by Near) pulled up in front of the hall. There were dozens of cars clustered around, couples exchanging greetings and making their way inside. Ryuzaki swallowed his unease and stepped out, opening Jane's door and linking his arm with hers. He was, however, a mile out of his comfort zone, and couldn't help but shrink slightly.

_Why am I this far out of my box…? Because it's Jane. _

Moving inside along with the throng of people, the couple looked around at the huge ballroom, white and glittering, gazing up at the domed ceiling above them. Painted there was a mural of a White Winged angel and Red Winged demon, the latter's wings providing the most vibrant color in the room. Jane's thoughtful gaze lingered there, Ryuzaki noticed, yet it was quite understandable. Again the raven-haired man thought of Light.

_Are you here now, Light-kun? Are you watching this? _

The lights dimmed slightly, bringing everyone's attention off their grand surroundings and onto the platform near the center.

"Friends, lovers," a man with a microphone began. "Welcome to the fifth annual Christmas Eve ball!"

His words were met with applause, and Ryuzaki winced at the explosion of sound around him. Jane, seeing this, winked and hugged his arm tightly.

"Hey, relax," she whispered, holding him closer. "We're safe here, right?"

Nodding, the raven-haired man took a deep breath. The room was darkening, then, and that was some relief at least.

And then the music began.

It wasn't like a magic spell; things didn't suddenly change, nor did Ryuzaki's nervousness suddenly vanish. Yet, as he felt the soft touch of Jane's delicate hand in his, and the warmth of her body close to but not quite touching his, he felt his tension ease. And as the melody took shape, so did their dance.

Moving to press his chest to hers, Ryuzaki took control; he had been taught to dance, of course, at Wammy's House, as he had been taught other seemingly useless things such as horseback and fencing, for all children were raised to be well rounded. From his apparently endless memory those lessons came flowing back, and his feet moved gracefully in an almost-forgotten pattern.

"You're a good dancer," Jane commented teasingly. "Who would have thought?"

Ryuzaki smiled despite himself, although his mind was elsewhere. _Who would have thought… I'd be leaving you tonight? _The tears came unbidden as they swirled about the floor, elegant turns and neat footwork taking them away as if caught in a breeze. Feeling the girl tighten her grasp on him, so strong and yet so fragile in his arms, he longed for nothing more than to stay in that moment forever, to feel the warmth, both physical and emotional, brought on by her radiant presence. Pressing his face into her dark brown hair, Ryuzaki hid those unsightly emotions, lest anything ruin that last night.

_Jane… I love you. I'll enjoy this night… I'll _show _you. And then… _

… … …

"Time's up."

"I know."

Brushing the hair from Jane's sleeping face, Ryuzaki placed a soft kiss upon her forehead; she looked so beautiful, so pure, just lying peacefully on her bed, oblivious to the tension and drama raging around her.

"I love her."

"I know."

Straightening, Ryuzaki dipped his head.

"Goodbye, Kira-kun."

"Sayonara, L."

Making his way through the darkened house, villain at his back, Ryuzaki looked around at his home. His eyes found the filled bookshelves, the worn red couch, the obtrusively-placed table… and atop it that carousel of cupcakes. Slowly, carefully, he walked over, removing one of the sweets and putting something in its place.

"You won't remove it?" he asked worriedly.

Dan shook his head. "Nah. It'll make her hate you even more."

Sighing with some amount of relief, Ryuzaki turned once again. This time, however, he was stopped by a small _meow._

"Victoria…" he breathed, kneeling down and fingered the cat's soft white fur, rubbing her ears fondly. "Victoria… I'll miss you as well, you know." The cat purred, as if to answer, and Ryuzaki smiled. "That's a girl. Look after Jane, alight?" Pressing his head momentarily against the little cat's, he stood and proceeded to the door.

"It's over."

"Yes."

_No! _

… … …

"Yes? What is it?"

"Near. Come pick me up."

"…" The white haired boy paused, looking queerly at the phone in his hand. "Ryuzaki, are you alright?" He could already hear the answer in his mentor's voice.

"No, not in the slightest."

"…" A shiver ran up Near's spine, but he offered no further questions, instead simply giving an affirmative sound, hanging up and clambering into his car. Having traced L's call (it was standard procedure) he knew that he ex-detective was about a five blocks away from the house he shared with Jane, and why he would be in such a place at one in the morning, the air below freezing, on Christmas Eve, was beyond Near. So he simply swallowed his curiosity.

_He called me for a reason… he didn't call Mello because he wants silence; time to think. I'll be there for him. _

Within ten minutes, the car pulled up beside the apparently homeless man, his raven-feather hair crusted with frost and his already pale skin bluish in hue. He wore what appeared to be a tux, but he had unbuttoned it so that it fell loosely around his thin frame, and he seemed to have shrunk. Near opened the back door, and his mentor stepped inside, almost immediately beginning to melt.

The pair was silent, one lost in thought and the other respectful. But as they rode the snow began to fall, and one was cajoled into remembering a similar night, not so long ago, when he had found true joy in those gentle flakes, and warmth amid their chill.

And, once again, he cried.

**(A/N) DRAMA! ANGST! YATTA~! **

**So what did you guys think? Good Part I ending? Three parts in all, remember. ;) **

**Once again I'm quite concerned about the sudden drop in reviews. Did I do something horrible? *puppy dog eyes* If I did, tell me, for the love of cake! I'll give hints for reviews! **


	24. Part Two Chapter One

**(A/N) I'm so sorry for the long wait! *begs forgiveness* This is the start of Part II, and I do have a whole outline worked out, as well as most of chapter 2 written. Also, the first chapters of this fic have been revamped (looked at them, thought 'damn, I wrote that? Ugh… and people still read it?) **

**Poor Jane. Poor Ryuzaki. Epicness to come, stay tuned. **

**Thanks so much to ****Sexii-chan****, ****LawlietLover, and CocoBunni96****! Always awesome motivation! **

**I do not own Death Note or any of its characters, only my OCs. **

Jane woke up on Christmas morning slowly, as though coming out of a drugged haze. Though she stretched and sat up, she couldn't seem to shake off an odd, dark feeling that hung over the house like poisoned fog. There was a scratching at the door, and she felt a prickle of curiosity; Victoria always spent the night curled up beside- or on top of –Ryuzaki. She rose, still trying to dispel that awful feeling, and let the cat in; instantly the small creature clambered up her nightgown and came to rest on her shoulder, chattering agitatedly in her ear and bunting at her temple.

"What's the matter, little girl, hmm?" Jane asked curiously, reaching up to scratch the cat's ears. "Did Ry-Ry shut you out of his room, hmm?" Yet the words felt wrong, and she frowned.

"Good morning!" Dan's cheerful face appeared around the doorframe, and he spread his arms. "And Merry Christmas!"

"… You too." Obviously he wasn't affected by the ominous mood.

"Hey, what's up?" her brother asked. "Come on, let's go downstairs!"

"Sure," Jane muttered, following him down; he seemed to have a spring in his step, while her feet dragged ever so slightly.

What she was expecting to see was Ryuzaki crouched on the sofa; he wasn't there. _Must've overslept,_ she thought, smiling despite herself. She was almost convinced of this when her eyes found the table.

A single piece of paper sat there, sending a cold stone of dread straight to her belly, although she didn't yet know what it said. Ignoring Dan's chatter, she walked slowly over, taking it into her hand.

_Jane, _

_Merry Christmas. I'm sorry it won't be so happy. _

_My love is always yours, though you may no longer want it. _

_Ryuzaki _

The girl staggered back as though struck, the breath leaving her lungs. Her wide eyes instantly pinpointed the single missing cupcake, replaced by a small, carefully wrapped box. She picked it up, not numb as one might think, rather each touch sent shards of pain up her spine, and gingerly undid the paper.

Inside where three gold bands; upon further inspection, it was one ring, the three interconnected. A rolling ring, each part inscribed with L's last words to her.

The gold: "I will always find you."

The white gold: "I will always be with you."

And the rose gold: "I will always love you."

Jane wept.

… … …

Ryuzaki crouched at the edge his hotel-room bed; Near, on the floor, was stacking blocks, patiently waiting for his mentor to feel like talking.

Eventually, it came. "Promise not to tell a soul. Ever."

Near nodded. "Of course."

"No, Nate, you don't understand," L growled. "You have to swear, on the Bible, the river Styx, whatever you believe in. Swear on Watari's _grave_. Not even Mello."

The smaller boy was confused, but resisted half a dozen oaths. Still L was unsatisfied, his expression hard.

"If you tell a soul," he said, his voice a death-like whisper, "the consequences will be such that I will _end my life_. I will not hesitate if that comes to pass."

Near's breath stopped, and his carefully constructed expression shattered in shock. "I swear it! I'll take it to my grave!"

L sighed, seeming to deflate. "I've found Kira."

The three words dropped like stones. It took a moment for the successor to respond, and in that gap L continued.

"There's only one problem: he doesn't know _my _name, but he knows Jane's. And no suspicion will fall on him if she dies."

"He threatened you…" Near realized, his voice breathy, and Ryuzaki hung his head. "We can't let him!"

"Of course not," the elder agreed softly. "I have every intention of bringing him down. But I have to do it alone." He was fighting back tears, his successor could see, and the white-haired boy stood.

"Not again…!" It began as a soft objection, and then rose in volume. "You can't isolate yourself all over again!"

"Thank you, for your assistance thus far," L said, his voice chilled. "I may call on you in the future, but until then I thank you." He stood, his movements mechanical, and then, before the other could react, he was out the door. By the time Near scrabbled to his feet, trotting up and down the hallways, his mentor was nowhere to be found.

… … …

"Ryuzaki left."

Light ruffled his wings. "Yeah, I saw that."

"… And…" the small girl choked on her words, "I… don't know why…!"

As the shinigami wrapped his arms around the human, he hated his raven haired friend, hated him more than he ever had before. Tightening his grip, he clenched his teeth. _You better have a very good explanation, Ryuzaki…! I mean… you made her cry! _

"You can see the human world, right?" Jane asked miserably into his chest. "Did you see anything that could tell you why he left?"

"No…" Light muttered. "My Vision was blocked the whole time. The first look I got was this morning." _I'm fairly sure it has something to do with Dan… but she doesn't need more to be upset about. _

"I think it has something to do with Dan."

The shinigami jumped, feathers fluffing out in his surprise. "What did you just say?" he asked, looking down at the girl who never ceased to surprise.

"Whether it's just Ryuzaki's paranoia… or whether there's something to it… my brother is the key," she confided. "I… feel it." Fingering the ring, which hung on a chain about her neck, she pushed gently away from her friend. "And with an angel as my witness, I swear I'll get to the bottom of it."

**(A/N) I just love Jane. Sorry about the shortness. The next chapter will be up soon, so please review! I'd be interested to see if you have any predictions… **


	25. Part Two Chapter Two

**(A/N) Another comparably short chapter, sorry. **

**Warning. Angst. ANGST. *grows mushrooms in the corner* **

***mumbles* Thanks to my reviewers… I guess… *pokes at mushroom* No, in all seriousness, thanks, guys invisible-gurl, Sexii-chan, LawlietLove and CocoBunnie96! *hands out mushrooms* **

***returns to mushrooms* Of course I don't own Death Note… I don't even own my own life… *room darkens; spotlight on mushrooms fades to black* **

When Ryuzaki arrived at his new hotel, he stood in the center of the ornate rug and stared rather numbly around. The room was situated on the 17th floor, and he could see the spectacular view of the cityscape stretching on toward the horizon through huge, scenic windows. His feet moved, without his permission, to the glass, and his long fingers deftly undid the lock. Then he was standing, exposed, upon the edge, bare toes gripping the concrete.

The cars, so far below, seemed to be little more than ants which, if he stepped upon them, would be squashed flat. Then he directed his attention to the endless sky, not a single cloud present to interrupt the blue.

_How hard would it be…? _He imagined, just for a moment, flinging himself out the window, plummeting to the ground, feeling the wind tear at him in a wild and uncontrolled freefall. It would all end in an instant, he knew; there was no chance of survival from such a height. _Just… close my eyes… and… _

His logic screamed at him from the cell he had locked it in, beating at the walls of his head. It was his heart that lingered over these concepts, and the thought of everything ending in a blissfully quick _crack_.

_But… I will make it through this. For Jane. _That thought was more firm, more tangible than the others, and he closed one panel of the window firmly. As the last few moments caught up with him, though, his head began to real and he dropped to the ground. Shock and alarm rang through him as that logic burst free, flooding his mind with panic. _I was really standing there… contemplating such things…? _

Near walked in, then; he had horrible timing. What he saw was his long time friend and mentor, on his knees, fingers knotted in unkempt hair, beside a half-open window on the 17th story. Needless to say, he had no problems deducing what had just happened.

_I can't let Near see me like this… _Rising unsteadily, Ryuzaki stumbled into his bedroom and locked the door, ignoring Near's shouting and pounding as he collapsed in a ball on his bed. There he sobbed, harder than when Light and Watari died; he cried harder, even, than when they had lost A.

After what seemed like an eternity, though, L could no longer weep, for the tears would not come. So, never one for futility, he stopped trying and sat up, glancing at the long-silent door. Then, picking up his sopping pillow, he shoved it forcefully down the laundry chute, sending his emotions with it.

_I will not cry, _he told himself forcefully. _Until I find Jane, I will not shed a tear; I will not even feel the pain. _

And with that pledge, he was ready to face reality.

… … …

No matter how many times the phone rang, he wouldn't pick up. Only his picture smiled back at her from the small screen, seeming to do little more than taunt her breaking heart.

Then Jane's phone was flying at the wall, where it snapped clean in two.

"I hate you!" the slight girl screamed. "I hate you, Ryuzaki!" Even as she said it, she knew it wasn't true. But her feelings, needing to find vent somewhere, somehow eased as she hurled objects at the wall, screeching horrid things she knew she didn't mean.

And then she had exhausted herself, slumping to the ground and burring her face in her hands. Closing her eyes tightly, she went over and over that last night in her mind's eye, that last kiss, and clung to it like life itself. She fingered the ring that hung beside her heart. _Memories… that's all I have left… _

"Are you here? Are you here now, Ry…?" she whispered, and then tightened her grip on the band that promised he was. _I will never let go! _she thought with conviction. _I'll keep the memories close. But I do wish… oh, I wish… _Tears began to form, dripping through her fingers and onto the carpet. But she swallowed them, after a moment.

_I will _not_ let his destroy me. I won't…! _But the memories crashed over her once more, threatening not to keep her tethered to sanity, but to sweep her right over the edge. She remembered his voice; the feel of his pale skin; the intelligent glitter of his dark eyes; she remembered how he had crouched with Victoria perched upon his shoulders; his peaceful, childlike face as he slept.

All of it was gone.

… … …

"_I'm fine, really," _he had told Near; now, the raven-haired man was standing in his old apartment, with the sole purpose of collecting what he had left behind. Yet he was beginning to think it hadn't been such a good idea, after all.

As he stood there, in the middle of his old home, the memories were anything but comforting; they hammered at his resolve as he fought to keep his pledge of 'no tears,' sending hairline cracks along his resolve as everything familiar hit him like so many blows to the gut. He closed his eyes, held his breath… and wasn't aware of it until the whole world rotated and he hit the ground, unconscious.

**(A/N) *mushroom growing* **

**Not so much angst in the next chapter. I promise. *returns to mushrooms* **


	26. Intermission: Valentine's Day

**Jane: We're separated right now. **

**Ryuzaki: **_**Kira **_**forced us to temporarily part (you make it sound like we broke up!). **

**Jane: But in honor of Valentine's Day… **

**Ryuzaki: The Day of Lovers… **

**Jane: We'll be back under the same roof. **

**Ryuzaki: This never actually happens in the plotline, mind you, so the timeline is disregarded totally. **

**Jane: Wait… you mean Lightningpelt's doing fanfiction… for her own fanfiction? **

**Ryuzaki: Basically. **

**Jane: *grumbles* Insane cat… **

**Ryuzaki: I don't mind. I miss you! *hugs Jane* **

**Jane: It's only been two chapters, you baby! **

**Ryuzaki: *into Jane's shirt* Don't care. **

**Jane: *sighs* Well… on with the story, I suppose. **

**Near and Mello: Enjoy! **

**Jane: Whoa! Why are you guys here? **

**Mello: For the new chapter, obviously! **

**Jane: This isn't even a proper chapter! **

**Mello: D':**

**Near: Whether it is a proper chapter or not, we will make an appearance. **

**Mello: That's right! When was the last time I was even **_**mentioned**_**? **

**Jane and Near: Part One, Chapter 15. **

**Mello: D': **

**Jane: Enough of this! This stupid intro is longer than the fic! **

**Near: Than Lightningpelt fails at story length. **

**Me: No, you guys fail at intros. :3 **

**Mello: I fail at life! D': **

**Near and Jane: Snap out of it! *slaps Mello* **

**Mello: *sniffles* Sorry… **

**Jane: Roll the bloody story! *looks down at Ryuzaki* And let go of me you goof-head! **

**Ryuzaki: *into shirt* Uh-uh. **

**Mello and Near: *snickers* "Goof-head…" **

**Me: *pulls down curtain* *bows* Enjoy the fic! **

… … …

**Mello: Hey Matty, want to play a game? **

**Matt: Unless it's Zelda, I'm not listening. *returns to DS* **

**Mello: *pouts* Well, for those of you **_**interested**_**, Lightningpelt has hidden four "Easter Eggs"- references to other anime –in this fic! If you find two of them, she'll write a requested one-shot for you! Find all four and you'll get… well… something specialer! **

**Matt: "Specialer" isn't a word, Mels. **

**Mello: Aren't we smart. :P Even **_**she **_**hasn't decided what'll happen if somebody tracks down all four! **

**Matt: How would I submit answers? **

**Mello: By PM. **_**No review answers accepted; **_**they just give away the answers. **

**Matt: Well have fun. **

**Mello: I will! Hmf. **

**Me: Enjoy the game! Now **_**here's **_**the story! **

Ryuzaki had never thought much about Valentine's Day. yet, as he stared down at the red and white and pink heart-shaped doughnuts, somethin hit him.

_This year is different. _

_This year I am involved in a romantic relationship. _

Glancing across the street, through the shop window at their apartments, he drew a deep breath.

_Valentine's Day… candy… roses… lovers… _

"That's all I've got," he said aloud. And that _was _all he knew about the formerly non-applicable holiday. Finding the shop all but deserted, he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Yo."

"Mello. Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"…"

"… Scratch that. What does Matt get you for Valentine's Day?"

"Et tu, Lawli?

"…"

"…"

"… Fine! What should I get Jane for Valentine's Day?"

"_That _I'll answer." Mello, some 100 miles away, sat back in his chair. "Diamonds, Lawli dearest, are a girl's best friend."

"But Jane doesn't wear jewelry," the other objected.

Mello thought for a moment. "Alright, what's her favorite restaurant?"

"Home cooking."

"Favorite candy?"

"She makes it."

"Favorite flowers?"

"No clue."

Mello let out an exasperated sigh, spinning on his desk chair. "you're giving me nothing to work with, my friend!"

"I _have _nothing to work with," Ryuzaki replied, and the blonde groaned dramatically.

"Alright, alright," he said, "here's the deal: take her out to Lee's Curry of Life; that's a pretty fancy place, and they've got a V-Day promotion going on. Then you take her down to the beach at sunset and surprise her with flowers, preferably red or white roses; bring a blanket and sit there for a while and talk about your feelings. If you're planning on proposing, that'd be a good time. She'll love it, I promise."

Ryuzaki was unconvinced. "Thanks, Mels. I'll give it a try."

Hanging up, Mello let out a sigh. Then, arching over the back of his swivel chair, he called, "Matt! I hope you were taking notes!"

"Hm…" Ryuzaki wasn't quite certain that he could take the blonde mafia leader at his word. So, selecting a doughnut from the display, he dialed another number.

"Hello?"

"Mmf." The boy had picked up faster than expected, catching his mentor with a mouthful of pastry. Swallowing hastily, Ryuzaki cleared his throat. "Nate. What do I need to do for Valentine's Day?"

"Don't ask me," Near replied, fiddling with his thin white hair. "I've never dealt with romance or anything of the sort; ask Mello."

"I already did," the other sighed, "and he gave me some cliché about diner and a beach sunset."

"… Yeah, that doesn't suit you," Near said bluntly, and then thought for a long moment. "How about… ballet? Does Jane like ballet? Halle dragged me to that one about the duck, and it was fairly good; excellent, if you're into that sort of thing."

"A ballet… about a duck? You mean Swan Lake?"

"No, not a swan; a little yellow duck, I'm certain."

"… Forget it." Ryuzaki gave his fuzzy head a shake. "I don't think she's into ballet, anyway."

The younger boy huffed slightly. "Well then… what about a romantic night at home? Set up some candles, use the nice table-wear, order some fancy food, etc. You've still got access to the power and wealth of L; make some things happen."

L nodded slowly. "Alright… alright. Thanks, Nate."

… … …

"Meow!"

Ryuzaki smiled down at the little white cat, playing with her own Valentine's Day present: a little catnip stuffed heart. She clutched the toy with her forepaws, gazing up at the human curiously. "Hush," he said, patting her head. "Watch your tail around the candles, now."

The doorbell rang, and the ex-detective shuffled over, hands in his pockets until one was needed to turn the knob.

"Ryuzaki… san?" the blonde delivery boy asked, and Ryuzaki nodded. "Your order comes to $75.32, hmm."

The raven haired man shelled out the requested amount, and the delivery boy accepted it with gloved hands. Retreating back inside, Ryuzaki busied himself with making everything just right: he set the table, arranged the food, dimmed the lighting and put on Jane's favorite music; he even decorated the cake- if a bit sloppily –that he had made himself –if a bit clumsily –and set it in the center of the table.

Of course, as soon he was standing back to examine his handiwork, his phone rang.

"L! We've got an emergency here!" Mello sounded almost frantic. "Listen, they're calling him Saint Valentine's Assassin in the news; he's hit three chocolate shops in the past hour! All the victims seem to have been hit by a stun gun of some sort, and at the last scene police uncovered a yoyo… that weights over a hundred pounds! Nobody's even heard of the alloy it's made of!"

It was the type of case that L would have jumped at; the type that made his life worth living. But, at that moment, something far more meaningful to the raven-haired man was coming through the door, her eyes widening as she took in the scene. And the phone slid from Ryuzaki's fingers, hitting the carpets he smiled.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Jane."

**Matt: That was *sniffs* beautiful, man…! **

**Mello: when did you get here? **

**Matt: *presents chocolate*Happy V-Day, Mels. **

**Fangirls: Aww…! **

**Rabid fangirls: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! **

**Ryuzaki: *burrows farther into Jane's shirt* My ears…! **

**Near: *face palm* **

**Jane: *sighs* Guess we're gone. Hope you guys enjoyed! **

**Ryuzaki: I wish it had really happened…! **

**Near: It did happen, within the deepest corners of your soul where the purest love resides. **

**All: O_o **

**Me: *jumps out* Happy V-Day, everybody! I hope you enjoyed reading, and don't forget about those Easter Eggs (for Valentine's Day…)! **


	27. Part Two Chapter Three

**(A/N) Did you miss me? :3 It's an annoyingly short chapter this time, but I think you guys'll like it. :3**

**I had Misaki. I really hate writing about her. But it is necessary. I apologize. -_- **

**From this point on, until further notice, TMBTL updates on WEDNESDAYS every week! **

When Ryuzaki came to, he sat up, disoriented. _I… blacked out…? _Staggering to his feet, he set to shoving everything into his backpack as quickly as he could manage, disregarding everything he could live without. The absolute only thing on his mind was getting out as quickly as he could manage, and his concentration was so total that he collided headlong with the body in his doorway.

"Ruey-chan!"

_Oh Light, no… don't let it be…! _

But yes, it was Misaki. And then she was on top of him, face pressed against his, puppy-dog eye and inch from his own.

"Oh Ruey-chan, where have you been?" she squealed. "I thought you were gone, forever and ever and ever! I didn't know _what _I would do!"

"Misaki-san!" Ryuzaki's voice was so sharp it surprised even him, and startled the girl enough to allow him to throw her away, brushing off his shirt crossly. "I really must get going."

"Where?" the girl asked, her eyes wide. "Oh Ruey, where are you going?"

"Somewhere far from here," the man once called L grumbled, before realizing that that was a mistake. The blonde girl flung herself at him, and a hasty dodge resulted in her tumbling down the stairs with alternating crashes and squeaks. Wincing at each of these, the raven haired man turned with a muttered apology, but didn't wait for her to return.

… … …

Upon reaching the house he had arranged to be his, the man once called L set to unpacking what few belongings were left to him. The taxi waited patiently until he had gathered his things, then driven away as he made his way up the unnervingly solitary pathway.

But he wasn't alone, not exactly.

For sitting upon the steps of his new house was a scraggly black cat, head tilted in a questioning manner, tail flicking ever so slightly. And Ryuzaki found himself kneeling down, clicking his tongue, and beckoning the creature over, for it offered some strange comfort.

The tom approached, hesitantly at first, and then rubbed his head against the human's hand. Smiling, Ryuzaki reached forward and picked him up, cradling him to his chest as he made his way inside. Unpacking the rest of his things with a cat tucked under one arm, he felt considerably better. Sitting down, he opened his laptop and set to his research, the cat balanced upon his knees.

"You're not as small as Victoria," the raven-haired man observed aloud, scratching the cat's ears. "I'm surprised you can manage that." The cat purred, and Ryuzaki peered at it carefully. "Germaine," he decided, nodding shortly. "That's what I'll call you." Before he had met Jane, the man called L had thought that naming animals, much less with human names, was a pointless endeavor. But Victoria had changed his mind in the matter, and the new cat brought him more comfort than anything.

_A quick Google search, perhaps… _he thought; though it seemed simplistic, it might well turn up something interesting. Seeing that the pages had loaded, Ryuzaki selected the first one, curious but not expecting anything mind-blowing. As it was, however, his hand fell abruptly from Germaine's head, and the cat gave a little _mrrow _of discontent. Letting his eyes wander over the page, he absorbed words and phrases that seemed to leap off the page.

_Jane and Daniel Murete _

_Gruesome murder _

_Single mother _

_Orphaned children _

_Unsolved _

_Wammy's House _

Fingers flying across the keyboard, L quickly read the article, the most important paragraph warranting several readings and even a whispering aloud.

"Single mother murder victim leaves behind two children, a Jane and Daniel Murete, with no other living relatives. World renowned English orphanage Wammy's House has stepped in and will take on guardianship of the two children, although Daniel will turn eighteen in just under two months. There must be some special talent hidden in these unlikely packages, for Wammy's to take interest in them; Jane, already, is beginning to show signs of such gifts, as the sixteen year old is directly responsible for ferreting out her mother's remains and leading the police to them."

Ryuzaki sat back heavily, dislodging Germaine and tipping his chair backwards. There he lay, staring up at the ceiling, mind whirling.

_Jane… was at Wammy's House… _

_My Jane. _

_My poor Jane. _

**(A/N) Jane's past! OMG! Worth the wait? What do you guys think? Drama to come? Hells yeah. Stay tuned! Updates next Wednesday, reviewers get hints! **


	28. Part Two Chapter Four

**(A/N) See? I can make regular updates! *at 12:45 in the morning* **

**But seriously, I worked super hard to get this up. So I apologize in advance for any typos. On that note, I might soon have a beta for this fic! ^-^**

**A shout out to Kashagal and Natures Ruler, LawlietLover, and CocoBunni96 for reviewing! **

**I don't own Death Note, but here's a fun fact: Victoria, as you might remember, was my first kitty. *sighs dreamily* Her appearance in this fic is a way to immortalize my dear little girl. Germaine is also a real kitty, one that I had a heart-connection with from the shelter I work at. He has since found his forever home. :')**

Jane drifted to sleep that night, hoping to meet Light and perhaps ask him about Ryuzaki. If Light could see everything, as she suspected he could, perhaps he could provide some insight into the situation at hand.

But when she arrived in that beautiful dreamscape, it wasn't Light who was waiting for her. Her eyes widened sharply, her mouth forming one soft syllable.

"… Mom…"

The White Wing ghosted forward, her robes swishing without a sound about her graceful figure. When she reached her spellbound daughter, she took the human's face in her hand.

"_My dear Jane,_" she whispered, "_I cannot stay long. But I have for you two pieces of advice. First, beware of Red Wings. They bring naught but suffering. Second, fear the boy who shares your blood." _Stroking her daughter's soft brown hair, she said, "_I love you, my Jane. And your suffering won't last forever_."

When Jane woke, her pillow was wet with tears.

… … …

Light was curled up within his shield, determined that no one to find him. And yet his walls melted.

"What the…?" he began to ask, annoyed, but his voice died as he saw what awaited him.

There floated a White Wing, radiating the light that did not exist in the realm of the Red Wings. It scalded Light's eyes and he shut them, whimpering and shrinking back, cowering behind his massive wingspan. Her very presence burned him, making his skin bubble with heat, which intensified as she drifted closer. Light found his body first frozen, and then a puppet to her will, slowly uncurling despite the agony the action caused. His eyes were forced open, and he found himself staring into her unbearable purity.

"_Red Wing,_" she addressed him, her voice commanding, "_I do not know what the Judge is thinking, but you will stay _away _from _my daughter_!_" Her eyes blazed with white fire, and Light let out a strangled cry of pain and terror. The White Wing reached out, slowly, and dragged one delicate finger along his cheek, down to his chin, melting the flesh and allowing the cheek and jaw bones to show through. In a blinding flash that singed Light's already abused eyes, she vanished.

And Light was left to crumple into a sobbing, tortured ball, holding himself tightly and trying to stop his body from combusting.

… … …

_Wammy's House… _Ryuzaki thought slowly, mind processing the shock as he began to pet Germaine again. _That means… I might be able to get information… out of… _

Picking up the phone thoughtlessly, blessing Near for covering the setup of his new house, dialing an almost forgotten number. A female voice answered politely, with practiced ease.

"Hello, Wammy's House. If you're interested in adopting a child, I'll connect you to the correct department. If you're interested in dealing with our Legacy department, please state your business and I'll-"

"Ma'am, I need to speak to Rodger," L cut her off.

"… Rodger is a very busy man," the receptionist said, after a flustered pause. "I'm not sure-"

"Just tell him it's L. He'll drop everything, I guarantee."

The woman transferred him. While he waited, Ryuzaki muttered some stream of consciousness nonsense about cake and Kira to the cat on his lap.

"H-hello?" came the somewhat shaky answer.

"Hello, Rodger," the detective said, eager to the point of carelessness. "It's me. I'm calling because-"

There was a gasp and a loud _bang_, the sound that made as a receiver bashed against the side of a desk. L cursed as he realized, too late, that Rodger had thought he was dead just as much as the rest of the world. _How uncharacteristic, _he thought distastefully, and then waited impatiently as Rodger gathered himself enough to pick the phone back up.

"…L…?" he asked breathily. "Y-you're… alive…?"

"Yes, yes, I'm alive," the raven-haired man said, irritated at answering obvious questions. "Now, I need to ask you just a couple of things…"

… … …

When Jane arrived at the usual place that night, she had mixed feelings. She wanted, more than ever, to ask him about Ryuzaki. Her mother's warning about "Red Wings" also echoed in her mind, almost but not quite eclipsing her thoughts of the raven haired man, but when she saw Light, her concern _about _him vanished in a flurry of concern _for _him.

Light had a thick red wound down his face, and his feathers were scorched. He looked haggard and frightened his eyes bloodshot and narrowed.

"Light!" Jane cried out his name, rushing up to him; he jumped and then turned to her. She saw then that his eyes couldn't quite focus. "What happened?"

The Winged lowered his head. "A White Wing…" he mumbled. "She came to see me."

Jane knew instantly what he was talking about, despite her ignorance of other worldly affairs. "My mom…" she whispered. "She… did this…? Why would she…?"

"She told me to stay away from you," Light admitted softly.

"Why?" Jane asked, her voice turning pleading. "Please, Light. I need to know. What does the color of angels' wings represent? My mom told me to 'steer clear of Red Wings.' Why would she say that?"

Light lowered his head further. When he spoke, his voice was barely audible.

"White, for intense purity; Black, for great corruption; Red, for…" His voice choked, tears dripping down his face, the salt pricking unpleasantly at his burns.

Jane gasped as the realization hit her, with sudden certainty and unexpected horror. "… Blood…!"

… … …

"Jane, you say…? Ah yes… Wammy's 'J.' At least, she would have been. As it was, she was too independent and _far _too commanding. She left us before she could complete her training."

Ryuzaki smiled dreamily. "Yeah, that sounds like her."

"You know her…?"

L debated for a moment, weighing possible answers. After his initial blunder with this particular conversation, he wasn't keen on speaking without thinking again. But in the end he decided that Rodger sincerely cared for the children in his care, and would like to know the honest truth.

"I more than know her," he said softly, "I love her."

There was a moment of shocked silence, and then Rodger gaze a soft, triumphant cry. "Th… that's wonderful!" he exclaimed, and L saw an interesting opportunity.

"But Rodger, I need your help to make this work," he said slyly. "Do you have any data on Jane's brother?"

"He's trouble," Rodger said instantly. "We considered training him, too, but Watari saw something he didn't like in the boy."

Ryuzaki felt a stab of guilt at so blatantly exploiting Jane's past, but pushed it away. "Yes. He's caused me no end of grief. But, tell me now, what can I do to take him down?"

**(A/N) Hope you guys enjoyed Light's reappearance! More of him to come in the next chapter, 'kay? Please review! Nothing will keep me more motivated to do these weekly updates! *is currently very motivated* **


	29. Part Two Chapter Five

**(A/N) So here's the new chapter.  
**

**Thanks to Kashagal and Natures Ruler, WolfishMoon, LawlietLover, Equal-Opportunity-Reader, and CocoBunni96 for reviewing! *hugs* **

**An extra special shout out to ****Equal-Opportunity-Reader,** who will be my beta from now on! You've no clue how much I appreciate it! And thankfully there is no need for pitchforks and torches. :)  


**I don't own Death Note. **

Light lowered his head further and nodded, just slightly, his wings tucked behind them as if he could hide their damning color. Jane could tell that he was deeply upset, but her gut was twisted in knots. Confusion was also threatening her as she remembered Ryuzaki's words. _Ryuzaki . . . thinks so highly of this man . . . I wish I knew more details . . . _

"So . . . you killed a man . . . ?" she prodded gently.

Light nodded, but seemed unable to speak.

" . . . An accident, or . . . ?"

"No," he whispered, "Never accidentally."

_Never . . . that infers more than once. _"Why?"

Light looked up, his hazy eyes meeting Jane's for just a moment. There were tears rolling down his face, sizzling on his wounds and scattering into a million scarlet shreds of light.

"I wish I could tell you. It might . . . make this easier. But it would hurt Ryuzaki. It really would. And I can't hurt him more than I already have."

Jane nodded, slowly, "I . . . understand. So that's why you've never met God? You can't?"

Light raised an eyebrow. "Strictly speaking, I could, but . . . "He shrugged, motioning to his body. "I saw a White Wing, and it did this to me. Imagine what would happen if I saw The Holy One. I know of Red Wings and Black Wings who have been destroyed like that. Only one made it, and was purified instead of incinerated. But me. . . " He shook his head. "I wouldn't stand a chance. Sure, I'm sorry, sure I regret it. I've suffered, Jane, for my choices. But I am so very tainted. I'm stained with the blood of —"_913,012_"—so many men. My soul will never be at peace; I don't deserve it."

Jane paused, gazing in confusion at the winged man before her. He just looked so _lost_.

"Doesn't matter," she said firmly, and then came forward to embrace him. "I don't care what my mom says. _I _know that you're a good person. If anyone deserves eternal life, it's you."

Light smiled sadly, returning her embrace gently, thinking of all the women he had held so thoughtlessly during his life. "Thanks," he said, and then repeated, "I don't deserve it."

. . . . . . . . .

"Take Daniel down, hm?" Rodger paused. "Why would you need to do that?"

"Divulging such things would put Jane's life in danger," Ryuzaki answered seriously.

"Oh dear…" The old man paused again, thinking. Germaine demanded to be pet, and the raven-haired man obliged as he waited. "Well, I can send you my old file on him, but since he was never actually _in _Wammy's, that's all I can do."

"That would be very helpful," Ryuzaki said. "Thank you, Rodger."

"I wish you the very best of luck, L. You and Jane both."

Ryuzaki logged into his email, seeing the files sent from Rodger. _But I have more pressing things to do_ . . . he thought, tucking the Intel away for later reading. For he had finally found a way to send a message to Jane, a message that would show he loved her, and that he was trying to get back to her.

. . . . . . . . .

"Jane, listen closely," Light said that night, his eyes clearer than they had been and his wounds beginning to fade. "Ryuzaki didn't leave to hurt you."

"I know that," the girl replied, sitting down with a resigned _thump _on the cloudy ground. "I do." She fingered the ring around her neck, and then looked up morosely at the Winged. "But why, then? Surely you know?"

Light grimaced. "I don't. I can't . . . see everything. Not like the White Wings can." Trying to smile sympathetically and failing, he crouched beside her, unwittingly assuming a position similar to L's. "Listen, though… Ryuzaki values your option, higher than he even valued mine. So… when he _does _go against you…"

"He never does," the girl said, though not particularly proudly, just thoughtfully. "He never argues with me, not for long, at least."

"He did once," Light said, and then pressed on before she could speak. "And he thinks it's life or death; that's how serious he is."

"My brother . . ." Jane realized slowly, and then shook her head, distraught. "No . . . that can't be it."

"I think it is," the Red Wing insisted, as unwilling to back down as L himself. "Ryuzaki knows – "

"No, he doesn't know!" the human snapped suddenly. "And neither do you!" With that the dream vanished, and she was left alone as the tears began to come. "If . . ." she whispered, "if I don't have him . . . what have I got left _then . . . _?

. . . . . . . . .

Jane always watched the six 'o clock news; always. Even if she didn't really listen, it was always on. Dan retired to his room early, so she settled upon the couch with Victoria and a manga book. Flicking on the TV, she stroked the little cat as they both snuggled down into the cushions.

"Now child," she complained mildly as the cat sat down on her book. Nudging the cat playfully, she turned back to the TV, tucking her legs under her.

And froze.

"_After over 10 years, the criminal responsible for killing single mother Nancy __Murete and orphaning two children Jane and Daniel Murete has finally been captured." _

Jane's teacup hit the coffee table, bouncing and shattering on the ground.

"_And who is responsible for this but the world famous detective Eraldo Coil? " When asked why he took a sudden interest in this icy cold case, Coil issued this statement: "It is not a 'sudden interest.' I have always been pursuing this case. The first time I saw the little girl, I felt like I knew and loved her. I knew that I would find the monster responsible for killing her mother." _

"_And when asked why it took him so long, he responded, "Other cases got in the way. But she was always in my mind."_

"_Finally, we asked him that, if he could tell his young girl anything, what would it be?" _

And Jane watched in stunned silence as Ryuzaki's - her Ryuzaki's –precious words made just for her scrolled slowly across the screen.

"_I would tell her to keep the faith, and that Justice will always find her. I would also say that I love her. The moment I saw her eyes, I also saw her soul. I've seen the scum of humanity; I've seen some of the best. And you are the most beautiful person, the most pure and enchanting person I have ever come across. I want her to know that." _

**(A/N) All together now: "Awww…!" **


	30. Part 2 Chapter Six

**(A/N) I apologize for dying when school started. *bows* Will be more regular with updates from now on. The plot will also move considerably quicker. If it's feeling rushed, though, please do tell me. :)**

**Thanks to reviewers LawlietLover, Kashagal and Natures Ruler, and CocoBunni96! Sorry this is late, guys, thanks for your support!**

**I do not own Death Note or any of it's characters. If anyone thought I did, I apologize for crushing your hopes and dreams.**

The notion planted in her head by Light Yagami would not leave Jane's mind. In her dreams she saw Ryuzaki trying to tell her something, shouting at her through the water, but she always turned away. And so she found herself staring, one day, at the back of her brother's head as he sat on the couch.

_L did you know... Shinigami like apples...? _

Picking up the ruby red fruit thoughtfully, she weighed it in her hand. _What am I doing...? Am I... suspecting my own- my only! -brother of being... Kira...?_But again Light's ernest words tickled her ears, and her clever mind would not let her rest.

And so she threw the apple.

"Ow!" Daniel exclaimed, hands flying to the back of his head. "What the hell-?"

"You've been so sour lately!" Jane teased, her expression a deceptive smile. "Lighten up!"

Huffing angrily, her brother rose and stormed off, a notebook clutched in his hand. A black... unmarked... notebook... She waited until he disappeared up the stairs, then slipped into the living room. There she searched for over an hour, under the couch and between the legs of the coffee table... but she never did find that apple.

... ... ...

Ryuzaki, meanwhile, was organizing his resources. With his message sent to Jane- untraceable by Dan -he had turned his attention to once again catching Kira. He often touched the watch on his wrist, wondering idly if Light was watching, and if he looked approvingly or disapprovingly on this new Kira. He had to admit that the thought of the later was comforting.

It was altogether too dangerous to contact Near or Mello- though nowhere near Light or L's level, this second gen. Kira obviously had connections. It was revealed in Roger's file that Daniel had studied for a time to be a police officer, and still had powerful friends. Though Ryuzaki knew it must have been driving the blonde mad, the two currently functioning as L were playing at being baffled, running in circles. Though humiliating, it kept Jane safe, and the pride of underlings was a small price to pay.

Soichiro was one of the raven-haired man's most valuable allies. Light's father was retired, and therefore his movements went largely unnoticed; on some sweet level, the old task force had reformed, although they ran on very limited information. But with their help Ryuzaki kept tabs on Daniel's legal, fiscal, and daily movements.

He knew he would have to make his move soon.

"Kira-san..." L murmured one night, a cat on his lap and a cupcake in hand. "It is only a matter of time. I promise."

... ... ...

Though Jane thought her suspicions were going unnoticed, they were not. And her brother was weighing his options as well.

"If I kill her, L will come after me," he said aloud, and the Shinigami in the corner chuckled.

"I suppose so."

The man spun on his chair, finally settling with his feet on his desk. "But if I let her continue, she'll..." he laughed bitterly, "probably take me down herself."

"True enough."

And at last the blonde pulled out his notebook; pen; reading glasses.

"Well then... I suppose we'll get down to business."

... ... ...

When Jane next met Light, she was almost boiling over with nervous excitement. The surprise of being asleep added to the suspense- she had drifted off while reading on her bed. Something in her dreaded the conversation, but her heart was still pounding with eagerness.

"I think you were right," she said softly, foregoing any greeting as she clasped the surprised Winged's hands. "I think..." Her voice dropped, and she swallowed hard as she completed the thought. "I think my brother is Kira."

Light's eyes narrowed, his expression as satisfied as a cat who had caught a canary. "See? That's why Ryuzaki left. Daniel must have threatened your life."

Jane nodded, reaching up to touch the ring hanging at her chest. It all make sense...

"Your life is in danger," the Red Wing said, even lowering his voice as some absurd procatution. "If he figures out that you know, nothing will matter but getting rid of you."

Again the girl nodded. "I know."

Suddenly, Light raised his head, sniffing. Though Jane paused, she smelled nothing out of the ordinary. But the Winged's eyes were round with alarm.

"Smoke..." he whispered, then said it louder. "Jane, smoke! You need to wake up!"

His shout jolted her from the dream, and suddenly the brown-haired girl found herself lying upon her own bed, in her own room. For a moment, she cursed Light for being so paranoid and waking her for nothing.

But then she saw the flames.

... ... ...

It was shortly after 5 that Ryuzaki thought to turn on the news. He wasn't quite sure what made him turn on the news, or why he set down his computer for a moment to heed this urge. He was absolutely positive, however, that it was not logical.

And then he saw the flames.

The announcer's voice sounded cold; factual. "The house shared by siblings Daniel and Jane Murete caught fire just a short while ago. I have the brother here with me, but his sister appears to still be inside."

There was Daniel, pacing beside the reporter, looking worried; he wore a backpack, evidence to Ryuzaki that he had known he needed to get out of the doomed house._ So he... set the fire... if he... used the Death Note..._

_If he used the Death Note, it's all over._

Ryuzaki's heart clenched before he got himself under control. "Daniel has no motive," he whispered aloud, trying to make himself believe the words. "I haven't done anything. I haven't done anything to make him suspect..."

But what if Jane suspects?

Suddenly his heart was pounding faster... and faster still. "What if Jane suspects?" he asked no one. "What if he needs to eliminate her not because of me, but because of her? Oh Jane... Jane, you're too smart... for your own good!" _Then there would be nothing to stop him... from using the Note._

_And if he used the Death Note, it's all over. _

That was when Ryuzaki began to do something he never thought he would. For he was no longer speaking to no one or to himself, but to something he didn't believe in.

"God... if there is a god... Light... if you have any power... please save her."

... ... ...

Jane was coughing furiously, though she was on her hands and knees, fighting to get downstairs. Against her chest she cradled the soft, limp body of her cat, unconscious already. The sensation of Victoria's labored breathing urged her on, and she focused on that rather than her stinging eyes and singed flesh.

She half crawled, half slithered down the staircase, trying to keep below the worst of the smoke. She knew with sudden and startling conviction that Dan was the one responsible; that he and he alone had started the fire.

_If... he used the Death Note... it's useless to struggle. If he used the Death Note... it's all over. _

But she shoved that thought from her head. Even if she was destined to die that day, perhaps Victoria was not. As absurd as that rationalization might have seemed, it was enough to keep her going forward, inch by painful inch.

Then the door, her escape, loomed up in front of her. It was little more than a pillar of flame, the wood curling and crackling with heat. And so Jane fell back, her heart throbbing as it was squeezed suddenly by a crippling hopelessness. The red hot metal hanging at her throat seared her skin as it swung with her movement, and she cried out roughly.

_Ryuzaki...! _

Squirming desperately backwards, she began to cough roughly, gasping for any scrap of breathable air. Her eyes were starting to go dim, her thoughts less focused.

_I'm going to die like this... _

Flopping onto her back, she felt her chest heave with the struggle to breath. High above her head, the ceiling was beginning to crack. She watched with a curious calm as the wooden beams creaked and came loose, then fell as if in slow motion toward her.

_At least I'll be dead before I burn. _

Her eyes drifted shut, half from the lack of oxygen and half from the defeat she had finally given into. But then a sudden breeze struck her body, a deliciously cool sensation on her blistering skin. And so Jane opened her eyes.

Above her was a canopy of wings, both red and white feathers meshed together. Her breath came easier, and suddenly her eyes didn't sear with pain as she blinked rapidly, clearing the remaining fog in her brain.

"Light..." Her voice was rough but audible, and she reached up tentatively. "Mom... What are you doing here...?"

"Ryuzaki sent us," the Red Wing said softly, seeming oddly thoughtful. Jane's mother smiled.

"My little girl," she whispered, "it is not yet your time."

Light glanced up, his eyes distant even as he said, "The Living firefighters are here. We should go."

"Please don't..." Jane murmured weakly, her fingers brushing the soft feathers sheltering her.

The Red Wing shook his head. "We have to. Don't worry, they've put out most of the fire."

Confused, the human furrowed her brow. "So... he didn't use the Note...?"

"No, love," the White Wing said kindly. "He wanted only to scare you. Even he did not want this fire to end your life."

At last a spark of life lit in Light's eyes as he said, teasingly, "We were thinking of letting you die, just to mess with his plans."

Jane smiled softly as her mother glared at the Red Wing, and then laughed breathlessly. She was still laughing as the Winged faded into nothingness, two firefighters taking their place. She was lifted, cat still cradled to her chest, and carried toward the charred door. It was by chance that her head lolled limply over the fireman's shoulder, and she caught a glimpse back into the house.

There stood Light, perfectly still among the still-glowing embers, except for the trembling wings  
folded loosely at his spine. He looked so forlorn there, remaining frozen until the last sparks died; until the last bit of ash settled.

And then he turned; met Jane's gaze; smiled sadly. And just as she reached back toward him, she was whisked away, leaving him alone at last.  
**  
(A/N) Kind of an abrupt stop. Sorry. But I want to pick up at a certain place next chapter. ^^ Why is Light being all angsty, hmm? Reviewers are truly appreciated! **


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